Codependency

[MajestyJo]

This is a page of the Joy2MeU web site of codependency therapist / inner child healing pioneer / Spiritual teacher Robert Burney - who is the author of the inspirational life changing book of Spirituality: Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.


Prayer for Codependents
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change,
The courage to change the person I can,
And the wisdom to know that is ME!
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The Personal Bill of Rights

1. Life should have choices beyond mere survival.

2. You have the right to say no to anything when you feel you are not ready or it is not safe.

3. Life should not be motivated by fear.

4. You have a right to all of your feelings.

5. You are probably not guilty.

6. You have a right to make mistakes.

7. There is no need to smile when you cry.

8. You have a right to terminate conversations with people who make you feel put down or humiliated.

9. You can be healthier than those around you.

10. It is OK to be relaxed, playful, and frivolous.

11. You have a right to change and grow.

12. It is important to set limits and be selfish.

13. You can be angry at someone you love.

14. You can take care of yourself, no matter what circumstances you are in.

Original Source Unknown
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Characteristics of Adults Shamed in Childhood

Adults Shamed in Childhood . . . .
1. . . . are afraid of vulnerability and fear exposure of self.
2. . . . may suffer extreme shyness, embarrassment, and feelings of inferiority to others.

3. . . . fear intimacy and tend to avoid real commitment in relationships.

4. . . . may appear either grandiose and self-centered, or seem selfless.

5. . . . feel that "No matter what I do, it won't make a difference: I am and always will be worthless and unlovable."

6. . . . frequently feel defensive when even minor negative feedback is given. They may suffer severe humiliation if forced to look at mistakes or imperfections.

7. . . . frequently blame others before they can be blamed.

8. . . . may apologize constantly and assume responsibility for the behavior of those around them.

9. . . . often feel like outsiders and have a pervasive feeling of loneliness, even when surrounded by those who love and care for them.

10. . . . project their beliefs about themselves onto others, frequently engaging in "mind-reading" and constantly feeling judged by others.

11. . . . . often feel angry and judgmental towards the qualities in others that they feel ashamed of in themselves.

12. . . . often feel ugly, flawed and imperfect, and may be overly focused on make-up or clothing as a way of hiding perceived flaws in self.

13. . . . often feel controlled from the outside as well as within; normal spontaneous expression is blocked.

14. . . . often suffer from performance anxiety and procrastination and depression.

15. . . . often lie to themselves and others.

16. . . . frequently block feelings of shame through compulsive behaviors like workaholism, eating disorders, shopping, substance abuse, list making or gambling.

17. . . . often have caseloads rather than friendships.

18. . . . often have little sense of emotional boundaries and feel constantly violated by others. They frequently build false boundaries through walls, rage, pleasing, or isolation.

Original Source Unknown