Do Not Worry

[MajestyJo]

Heard in early recovery, worry is fear that hasn't said it's prayers.

"When a need arises for us to admit our powerlessness, we may first look for ways to exert power against it. After exhausting these ways, we begin sharing with others and find hope."

NA Basic Text, p. 79

We've sometimes heard it said in our meetings that "rude awakenings lead to spiritual awakenings." What kind of rude awakening do we have in recovery? Such an awakening might occur when some undesirable bit of our behavior that we thought safely hidden away is suddenly revealed for all the world to see. Or our sponsor might provoke such an awakening by informing us that, just like everyone else, we have to work the steps if we expect to stay clean and recover.

Most of us hate to have our covers pulled; we don't like being laid naked in full view. The experience delivers a strong dose of humility. Our first reaction to such a disclosure is usually shock and anger, yet we recognize the truth when we hear it. What we are having is a rude awakening.

Such awakenings often disclose barriers that block us from making spiritual progress in our recovery. Once those barriers are exposed, we can work the steps to begin removing them from our lives. We can begin experiencing the healing and serenity which are the preludes to a renewed awakening of the spirit.


I will recognize the rude awakenings I have as opportunities to grow toward spiritual awakening.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

My very first rude awakening was hearing a friend who called herself "My unofficially adopted Mother", say that she wouldn't take a Tyenol 3 for her migraine, because she didn't want to be like 'her' down the hall! I realized she was talking about me, and I asked myself, "Am I really that bad?" The answer was 'Yes' and I picked up the phone and called the social worker she had been trying to get her to take medication, and asked for help for myself.

The second rude awakening was when my Higher Power allowed me to see myself in a dream. I saw that the woman who I thought was in control, who could walk a straight line, walk into the Legion in 3" high spiked red shoes, who was a controlling, manipulative, bragging first class b*tch! Not a very nice person, and as a girl in treatment said when she saw a picture of me when I was using, "I don't think I would have wanted to be your friend back then!" This rude awakening came at two years sober, and it brought about the acceptance I need to do the First Step 100%. I had already come to believe that NA worked because I had tried for eight years before I got there, and I had always known I was an addict, but I had maintained the denial about alcohol. It was like I was leaving a door open to relapse. My drug of choice was more, and from that point on I was in the program. Made the decision and did a Step Four and got involved in service.

Thanks for letting me share.

Worry is generally when I take on other people's stuff, which isn't mine to take on. When I worry, it is generally a fear of me not getting MY own way. I had to put my son in his God's Hands and let go, still practicing.