What is Resentment?

[MajestyJo]

What is resentment?

Resentment is the:

harboring of animosity against a person or group of people whom I feel has mistreated me.

unresolved anger I have over a negative event which occurred in my past life.

seething, aching emotional turmoil I feel whenever a certain person or event is discussed.

lack of forgiving, the inability to let go and forget.

root of distrust and suspicion I have when dealing with people or events that brought me pain in the past.

unresolved grief I experience when I find it difficult to accept a loss.

result of being heartbroken after exerting a great deal of effort and energy to achieve something that eventually was lost to me.

result of feeling that I was unjustly victimized with no resolution to the problem.

long-term suffering in silence when an open expression of hurt is unwanted and uninvited.

cancer robbing me of contentment in life.

grudge I hold against a person or group of people whom I feel has kept me from achieving.

feeling offended but silent when I believe that a person or group of people have ignored or denied my rights.

root of my depression.

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How is my resentment manifested?
When I am filled with resentment toward a person or group of people I:

pout or fume silently in their presence or at the mention of their name.

get upset when music, a movie, or a TV show reminds me of the unpleasant interactions I have had with them.

speak in a derisive or demeaning way about them.

have nightmares or distressing thoughts or daydreams about them.

become stuck in my efforts for personal growth and I don't even know why.

get furious for no apparent reason.

get depressed, despondent, and find myself going in circles in my attempts to overcome these negative feelings.

avoid mentioning or discussing anything that relates to my past anger or upset with them.

grit my teeth and smile when I really want to scream and yell when these people are mentioned to me.

fake enthusiasm and excitement about being with these people when I'd rather have nothing to do with them.

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How does resentment develop?
Resentment can be the outcome of:

accepting negative treatment from others passively, never expressing negative feelings about it.

agreeing to do something for others yet feeling that I am being taken for granted or taken advantage of.

trying to get others to see my point of view while they ignore or deny the truth or wisdom in what I have to say.

seeing others succeed who have not worked as hard as I have. I feel they don't deserve this measure of success.

going unrecognized for my good work or competency while others who are more in favor are recognized.

working hard and having others prevent me from realizing the bounty of my success.

having someone whom I have tried hard to please reject my efforts of caring and concern.

an impossible position in a relationship with someone where I am d**ned if I do and also d**ned if I don't do what the person wants from me.

being embarrassed by a person whose goal was to belittle me.

being consistently rejected, unapproved, unaccepted, and abandoned by another.

being the object of discrimination or prejudice.

being ignored, put down, scorned, and rejected by a person or people for whom I made sacrifices.

having someone I care about be treated unjustly with my requests to stop such action going ignored.

trying my best to please someone but no matter how well I did, it was never ``good'' enough.

recognizing that I am the one who always makes the effort in a relationship, and when I stop giving the relationship ceases.

giving in a relationship hoping to sustain it, but the other person abruptly terminates it.

never getting the chance to seek reparation for having been victimized.

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What are the negative effects of my unresolved resentment?
When I have unresolved resentment I:

am touchy or on edge when I am reminded of the person or persons I resent.

usually deny any anger or hatred against those whom I resent.

am provoked or angered when I see those whom I resent get recognized and reinforced for their achievements.

am bothered by my hostile, cynical, and sarcastic attitude; it becomes a barrier between me and the people with whom I want to establish a healthy relationship.

get stuck in my efforts to grow as a person.

reject all efforts to get me to work on forgiving and forgetting past offenses and hurts.

resist all attempts to get me to get on with my life, including the suggestion that I have unfinished business with people from my past which needs to be addressed.

find it difficult to open myself up to trust others, especially in new relationships.

find it hard to believe that I'll ever be recognized for my competency, worth, and abilities.

tend to overcompensate in my efforts to be successful.