ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

[india]

my EGO, my PRIDE!! Lord, have mercy on me... just when I think I've let it go BAM! I snatch it back. Recently, I was "sent packing" by a sponsee. bottom line? she really didn't wan't to hear the suggestions that I made to her, not demands but suggestions. I am some what of a gentle sponser, not some Nazi BB thumper (no offense to those who are because we NEED you for those of us who are not). suffice it to say, I DID learn a LOT from her, about me. sometimes painful, but for the most part joyful as I as able to work it "all over from the beginning once again" (BB and 12 & 12) with someone who had a rudimentary understanding of AA and its interiors. HP put me in her path for many reason's and I truly believe my "sponsorship" work with her as a whole is done, for now. I now see that I am but a touchstone to her, a friend and a more deeply committed friend than perhaps I was before.

at first, my ego was hit. then my pride. 2 of my (most personal and somewhat embarrassing) deadliest sins. I now see that this is truly an opportunity for me to grow and learn about INDIA regarding my pride and ego, (and obviously other things as well) which I once thought was in check. boy oh boy was I wrong. and thank you HP for setting me straight and giving me another 24 hours on which to work these character defects of mine on.

many thanks to all who took time out of their day to read this missive. just the "act" of "putting it "out there", sharing my personal struggles makes me feel better and less alone. to thine own self is true, right?

Namaste,
india