Today's Gift for Families - March 2014

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, March 16, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

'Tis God gives skill, but not without men's hands. He could not make Antonio Stradivarius violins without Antonio.

—George Eliot

When she was four years old, she climbed onto the piano stool. To her parents' astonishment, a simple prelude she'd heard on the radio flew across the keys from her fingers. That very week they found her a teacher, and the house was filled with the music of her developing talent.

While other girls played, made the honor roll, starred on the basketball team, and dated boyfriends, she sat inside at her beloved piano and practiced. At seventeen, when she made her debut, the critics said, "She's a natural. A genius!"

We know she was no natural, but through hard work, she made her piano playing part of her nature. When we put love into our labor, our own dreams grow into being.

Am I willing to make some sacrifices today to do the things I really want to do?

I was told that sacrifice meant "To make sacred." To me, if my God leads me to it, He will see me through it. No matter what I am doing, I know I need to make time for my God.

Sometimes it is about me, feeding my body, mind, and spirit, and other times, it is putting me aside and doing what my God wants me to do in today. Most cases, it is one and the same.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, March 17, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Love is always open arms.

--Leo Buscaglia

There is a story about a boy who left home and dishonored his father by spending a large amount of money on fast and reckless living. When the boy's money ran out, he was faced with the prospect of returning home to face his father, knowing the father had every reason to be disappointed in him. Filled with fear and shame he approached his home, his mind racing with words of apology. Before the boy could say a word, his father rushed to him with open arms and hugged his lost son in joy and love.

Have we done this? Have we found it in our hearts to approve whatever a loved one does, even if we would have wanted something different?

Love like this is the highest kind of love. It finds joy in others no matter what, because it recognizes the freedom of those we love, and doesn't chain them to our own wants. It is the same kind of love God has for us.

Are my arms open today?

Always open for a hug. In fact, when I meet someone, I ask them, "Do you do hugs?" Don't like to invade their space, and let them choose as to who they will let into their space.

Also have to remember that when I sit with my arms crossed, hands clenched, introverted instead of extroverted, and close myself off by barriers and walls of any kind, I block myself off from God as well as others.

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Tyger, Tyger, burning bright, In the forests of the night; What immortal hand or eye, Could frame thy fearful symmetry? Did He who made the Lamb make thee?
—William Blake

Is there a lamb and a tiger inside us? Is there any commandment, written on the sky or a stone tablet, denying us our perfect right to be both tiger and lamb? The tiger, beast made of fire and night, shows its teeth when it blazes with love; the lamb, orphan wrapped in soft blanket of cloud, weeps to receive that same love. So we give and take, are strong and weak, guilty and innocent, wrong and right. So we are balanced, even when we seem to be in conflict.

When we learn to accept all the things we can be, we will be able to love all the ways the world outside us can be.

What conflict is helping me grow today?

It strengthens my connection to my Higher Power. If like was same old, same old, I would get bored and go looking for something to stir up the pot. That is not a good thing for me and not a healthy choice for the most part. Old behaviours and habits did not do much for me in the past, so why should I want to repeat them in today?

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Where is the yesterday that worried us so?

—Joan Walsh Anglund

In the fairy tale The Last Dream of the Old Oak Tree, the oak tree felt sorry for the dayfly. The dayfly only lives for one day, and the tree was already 365 years old. But the dayfly was so enjoying his one-day that the tree's sympathy puzzled him. The dayfly said to the tree, "You may have thousands of my days, but I have thousands of moments to be pleased and happy in."

And so the dayfly continued to dance in the sun and smell the clover and honeysuckle. His day ended as happily as he spent it, and he settled down on a blade of grass.

If all of us could approach our day the way the dayfly does, as though this were our only day, we would spend less time worrying about yesterday and tomorrow.

How can I show my gratitude for the gift of this day?

Remember to say thank you. Pass it on to others, share!

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, March 20, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I want, by understanding myself, to understand others.

—Katherine Mansfield

Growing up to be the best people we can be is a lifelong process. As teenagers, we may have thought that twenty-one would be a magic year for us because then we would become adults. We'd be grown up and able to handle any problems that came along, if any did.

But the older we get, the more we realize that growing up is a process that never ends. We are always becoming the people we are capable of being. We're always learning new things about ourselves, and in that process, we're always coming to new understandings about other people and how we can get along with them.

How wonderful that life always offers us room to grow! It makes new discoveries possible all through our lives, and ensures us that we will always have something to offer.

What discovery have I made just today?

Haven't done much discovering in today, just grateful that I woke up to a new day. Today I discovered I didn't have a lot of intense pain, so hoping to get some posting done.

[MajestyJo]

Friday, March 21, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

—Mother Goose

Poor Humpty ended up such a scrambled egg. Maybe that's what comes from sitting too long in one place, choosing neither this way nor that, playing both sides against the middle. Maybe he played too much politics, got too much advice, had too much to think about. When the centipede was asked which leg he first moved when setting out on a stroll, he got those legs all tangled in his mind and couldn't walk at all. It is better to be simply moved by those around us, or by our Higher Power, with faith and love. When our thoughts fail, their hearts, hands, and eyes will show the way.

Do I sometimes decide my fate by refusing to decide?

Took a while in recovery to see that by refusing to make a decision, I was making a decision and saying no. Very few maybes to life, most times it is yes or no.

My father seldom said "Yes!" When we got a "Maybe" we took it to mean a "Yes," because most times all we heard was "No!"

It is the same as "Either God is or He isn't!

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, March 22, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Real men don't vacuum.

—Anna Genich

Once, not so long ago, there was a family who tried to divide up housework equally. The father signed up for vacuuming, but he never got around to doing it.

One morning he told everyone about his dream the night before. He was lined up in the dining room with an entire football team, and they all ran in a line through the house, pushing the clutter and dirt up against the walls and out of the way. They came to a finish at the picture window, where the father turned and raised his arms in victory. Then he saw his wife watching him, so he explained, "Heroes don't vacuum."

Perhaps each of us is a hero at one time or another. In that case, we might take turns at different chores, rewarding the day's hero with a day off from vacuuming or dishwashing. When we work together to get the chores done, we become a family of heroes, and can feel a healthy pride in our warm, loving, and clean home.

How can we share housework more equally?

This reminds me of a story that happened several years ago. A friend that I met at Mohawk College was going back to Hawaii, and she stayed with me for two weeks before she flew home. She had been raised in the area, so she came here, and went on the McMaster University and I baby sat her son.

When she came to my place (shared with my son when we first came to Hamilton in the mid 80s) and she told him, "It wouldn't hurt for you to help your mom and do dishes. He replied, "I am not BUILT to do dishes! She had a book in her hand and she almost through it at him.

Everything is much better when shared.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, March 23, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

It feels so good to cry. . .

—Susan Cygnet

Some of us were taught that it's bad to express our feelings directly - crying, wailing, jumping up and down for joy--that it's good manners to talk softly, slowly, and politely and to sit still.

But what happens to our feelings when we sit still? If they don't get expressed, they must be caught inside our bodies. Trapped feelings are like birds in a cage, or a rabbit in a trap--they try to get out any way they can. They peck on our heads and give us headaches. They scratch at our stomachs and make us hurt.

We must let them out. We must laugh and cry. Then our bodies will be happy, and our feelings will curl up in our laps like happy puppies.

Am I ignoring the physical symptoms of trapped feelings?

Didn't do tears in early recovery, so it took me a while to heal. This affirms my belief, that our emotional pain makes itself known physically.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, March 24, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

The things we hate about ourselves aren't more real than things we like about ourselves.

—Ellen Goodman

It is so easy, and tempting, to get down on ourselves, to focus on an imperfect face, a dismal batting average, our fear of math, or our big feet. The trouble is, the more we feel sorry for ourselves, and the more we have to feel sorry about. And though it probably doesn't hurt to indulge in a little self-pity once in a while, how unfortunate--and limiting--it can be to let those attitudes define us.

The things we hate about ourselves are no more real than the things we like about ourselves. The trick is to dwell on the things we like instead of those we don't. Even on days when we are sure we are the least loveable creatures in the world, we can "act as if" we like ourselves. What a surprise at the end of the day, to find out that we actually do!

What can I like about myself today?

My brown eyes? Like that I am no longer caught up in the bondage of my addiction.

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

My most irrational fear is that I've forgotten how to cook.

—Pam Sherman

Once there was a teacher who was having nightmares about doing a good job. In one dream, he couldn't find his classroom and he had to run from building to building. In another dream, he started teaching the lesson in the middle of the woods and didn't notice he was in the wrong place!

Then one Sunday morning, he read an article about a wonderful baker. She baked every day, started bakeries, and fixed food for her friends, yet when the reporter asked her about her fears, she said, "My most irrational fear is that I've forgotten how to cook."

Suddenly the man felt better. He realized someone else had the same kinds of fears. In a miraculous way, our fears become less powerful when we discover that we share them with other people.

What fear can I share with someone right now?

Like the quote about fearful of not being able to cook. Didn`t figure I could cook a turkey again, because it wasn`t safe to have a bottle around to cook with.

Had a few of those, thinking I couldn`t dance without a few drinks, smoked a cigarello without the wine tip to see if I could still smoke cigars. Cured myself of that habit quickly.

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

There is a proper balance between not asking enough of oneself and asking or expecting too much.

—May Sarton

The boy's mother baked pies that morning before he was up. She left them on the back porch to cool, their warm aroma curling up through his bedroom window. His mouth was full of the smell when he woke.

Before she left for work, she said, "You may do anything you want today, anything at all. Except for one thing - don't step in those pies."

All day the boy could not get the pies out of his mind; his feet itched just thinking about them.

Don't step in those pies. He heard her voice inside his head. By late afternoon he could control it no longer. One, two, three, four, five, six--his foot fell squarely into the middle of each pie.

When we expect the worst from others, we often get just that. The same goes for our expectations of ourselves. And when we trust others, it too is returned.

Do I expect the best of others--and myself--today?

Expectations can lead to hurt, abandonment and rejection issues, and resentments. I had to learn to lower my expectations of myself and not look to others to fill my expectations, some people, especially those caught up in their own disease, are not able to meet them.

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, March 27, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

We like someone because, we love someone although.

—Henri de Montherlant

Families are like scissors. They are joined in the middle but often spread wide apart, moving away from each other. When we're not feeling close to other family members - when it's hard even to like them - it seems as though we'll never come together again.

But pity the scrap of paper that comes between our scissor blades! The scissors works together again and slices the trouble clean. When trouble threatens our family, we can slice it through if we move together in love and acceptance.

No matter our small differences, we are part of the same living organism, in a way. The family we live in has been together for many generations, and we are just the most recent members. When we look at one another, we see the products of centuries of love.

When I feel distant from my family, can I locate where we are still joined together?

My thought is that I love my family, but I don't always like their words, their actions, and choices.

[MajestyJo]

Friday, March 28, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I have a feeling I should paint what I am supposed to paint. So I sit. And there my hand moves and I made a picture.

—Norval Morriseau

The writer sits, head in hands, amid a mound of crumpled paper wads. The deadline is tomorrow and not even the first paragraph is written. The writer has been working nonstop since the early morning hours. Frustration pushes the writer up from the chair and out on a long walk in the woods to the stream. After an hour of plunging through lush woods, a rest by the stream listening to the sounds of the rippling water is refreshing. Back at the typewriter, the fingers move, the words flow, the job is done.

Sometimes we need to quiet ourselves to let our inner resources flow through our outer noise. We are always doing what we are supposed to do. Even when things don't seem to come together just right, there is a purpose; even if only to let us know we need to do something else for a while.

How much simpler our lives can be if we only have the faith to accept what happens as a guidepost along a path that is naturally correct.

Am I frustrated with something I should step away from?

What kind of picture are we painting? Do I need to step back and look at it again and get another perspective? Do I need to get a second opinion? Am I portraying the picture in the proper form? Do people look at the picture and know, that I have a connection to my God and He is working through me to share my story with others.

Something worth while is always worth a second glance? When we make a decision, we can always stop, pause, pray, and make another decision.

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, March 29, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles . . . by the ears, by the heels or any other way you can manage it. It's the healthiest thing a body can do.

—Mark Twain

It requires very little effort - and no imagination - to start feeling sorry for ourselves. Often, it is easy to feel sorry for ourselves in our families. Instead of being inspired by the sports talents of an older brother, the popularity of a lovely sister, or the fame of a parent or relative, we often take the easier attitude: "I'm denied all that he or she has."

If we work hard at developing our own abilities so that we can excel, we will find ourselves proud of, and applauding, what others do. If a personal problem brings us self-pity, we must remind ourselves that all people have problems. We can cope as well as the best of people if we learn from them and think positively.

Who among those close to me can I be proud of today?

Anyone who stays clean and sober, just for today. I can learn also from those who are still out there choosing to use, they do my research for me. I see them and don't want to go there.

I had a lot of false pride as a result of my disease. Today I am proud and grateful that the 12 Steps work for me, no matter which fellowship I choose to go to.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, March 30, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Come stand by my side where I'm going, Take my hand if I stumble and fall, It's the strength that you share when you're growing, That gives me what I need most of all.

—Hoyt Axton

The bear cub was miserable. Her father, the leader of the pack, had left a month ago to find them winter shelter and had not yet returned. Everyone went on as if nothing had changed.

One evening the cub had a dream in which her father appeared and said, "Daughter, I know you grieve for me, but your burden is too heavy to carry alone. Share it with the others and let them comfort you. Sharing will only lighten your load, and if you can accept help now you will find it easier to give when others are in need."

The next morning the little cub woke with a much lighter heart. As it turns out, everyone in the pack shared the same dream. There was much hugging and crying and reaching out and healing.

We can easily lighten our loads by asking support from those who love us, knowing our turn to help will come.

What help can I ask for today?

For several years, I have had to reach out and ask for help with house cleaning. My hands and arms have no strength in them, and if I wipe things, they don`t always seem to be clean.

I pray daily for my God to heal my perception, clarity, and help me to remove all blocks and barriers that I have erected that blocks me from Him, be the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical.