Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - November

[bluidkiti]

November 1

Step by Step

Today, remembering that I worked the steps as hard as I could when I surrendered in Step One, I know I will have to rework them again if I choose to slip or relapse. Some of the steps required to gain and maintain sobriety also require some of the most brute honesty possible, and seeing myself as I truly was is an experience I don’t want to repeat. Thus, the solution to avoid having to see myself again as I was is simple: don’t slip, don’t relapse. Sometimes easier said than done, but the 12 Steps give us the control not to bow to what we cannot control – alcohol. It is a fact that the sober alcoholic has another drunk inside but may not have another recovery. Even if I have another recovery, I don’t want to go through the grueling experience of seeing myself as I might again become during a slip or relapse. And my insurance against having to go through that is the program. Today, I’ll use it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

KEEP COMING BACK

Keep coming back; it works if you work it.

~ Anonymous ~

Our memories can be very short. Staying close to the Program and attending meetings is important in keeping our memories current. Addictions have a way of patiently waiting for us to stop working our Program. Addictions know that when we stop working, it is only a matter of time before they take over again.

There will never be a graduation from meetings, and we will never have more than this day to judge our progress. We succeed or fail one day at a time, one meeting at a time.

Many of us can say with some certainty that we do not have another recovery in us. If we relapse, we may never come back. There is no certainty in recovery; there is no perfection; there is only progress. We attend meetings to make that progress.

I have to keep coming back to stay in recovery. My recovery will keep working for me if I continue to work it.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

There’s a lot of credit that can be given to youth and enthusiasm, but with them comes foolishness. Age and craftsmanship is not to be played down. I have got more tricks up my sleeves than an alligator has teeth.

~ George Foreman ~

As men in the early stages of recovery, we often have felt that we were walking on rubber legs. We felt very shaky. We were ready to admit that our lives had become unmanageable, but to establish a more stable life seemed like an overwhelming challenge. We needed the support of others in the program who were ahead of us on this path. So we turned to our sponsors and to other people in our meetings who had walked these Steps before us.

As men who have longer sobriety, we know that we need to share our stories and help others to maintain our own lifesaving recovery. So we continue to attend our meetings as one part of our maintenance program. We become sponsors and share our tricks of recovery because it benefits us as much as the other guy.

Today, as a newcomer to recovery, or as one with more time in, I know that we all have a lot to give.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

In order to accept change and the suffering it brings, we need to find meaning in it.

~ Mary Norton Gordon ~

In the midst of upheaval, we may long for the security of the past. But when we recall earlier times, we realize change has always been nipping at our heels. We’re reminded that we survived each change, and we gain confidence that we’ll weather this storm too.

We don’t have to suffer just because we are experiencing change. While change may stir our emotions, we can cultivate excitement for the change rather than fear of it. Further, we can use our memories of other changes and the fruits they bore as our inspiration now for relishing the opportunities every change offers us.

Change will come if God thinks it is time for us to stretch our talents and deepen our wisdom. It may be hard to keep that in mind when we feel the dread of change, but our memories will serve us if we’ll let them.

Change is for my benefit, and my Higher Power is my benefactor. I’ll rejoice if something new beckons to me today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I see now that I can get better in time

When I realized I was sick, when I was first diagnosed with a dual disorder, I felt devastated. I wouldn't believe it. All I could foresee was more pain. And that scared me more.

But now that I've learned some things about my (no-fault) addiction and psychiatric illness, they scare me less. With the clarity that comes from knowledge and the passing of time, I see that my life can get better and I see how I can get back on track. As much as I wish all were well today, I accept that recovery will just take some time.

Today I will practice giving myself extra time to do the things I need to do.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We all rise again like the moon.
Our very best God makes us all rise again,
but never the same as before.
Always brand new.

~ Sr. Karol A. Jackowski ~

Great loss takes everything from us but in time gives back more than we lost. By grieving we shed the old and receive the new. At first we find it hard to believe a brighter day will come. When we look inside ourselves, we find only the hurt and remorse. As we grieve, we may deeply resent people who say “Time heals all wounds.” How can they minimize our loss by predicting its end?

In the middle of deep loss we may need only a hand on our shoulder and a silent message that says, “I’m here with you.” Then, as healing begins, we find ourselves filling up again, but in a different way. By surviving such pain we come to appreciate life in a new way. Our feelings are deeper, richer than before. We know about loss, and are more grateful for what we have. We are more trusting of our Higher Power, Who helped us find the strength to endure when we thought it would be too much for us. We’re learning that grief can bring newfound depths of beauty to our vision of life.

Today let me move through my healing process, trusting that I am being cared for by my Higher Power.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

~ Step Eleven ~

A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weakness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Eleven.

Step Eleven Prayer

Higher Power, I humbly ask that you make me an ambassador of your peace. Help me to understand your will for me so that I may carry out acts of kindness, respect, and love for myself and for others. I pray to you for continual guidance. I resolve to connect with you every day and in every way, so I may grow stronger and more sure of myself in recovery. Through such daily prayer, I trust in your assurance that I will follow the right path.

I promise to keep my connection with you for all of my days and nights. You will show me the way to live, free from addiction and fully engaged with my life. Higher Power, thank you for listening to my prayer.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars.

~ Lee Salk ~

The tiny points of light in the darkened sky have long been used to plot navigational courses. In fact, sailors trust the stars even more than their most sophisticated instruments. We, too, can look at the sky and find reassurance in its light.

Each star in the sky has meaning. Whether it's part of a major constellation or merely a pulsating, burning mass in the sky, there is a reason for that star to be there.

We are also stars in the night. We are not alone, for we share the expansive heavens with those around us, whether our nearest neighbor is one floor above us or miles away. We are all here for a purpose.

I know I am not alone tonight, for I can see the stars.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being inspired

Within any problem lies a seed of opportunity. Solutions to knotty circumstances come through spiritual inspiration. If we stay clean and sober, we can sense the inspiration. Instead of dragging us down, our problems can take us to new heights. Didn’t our addiction bring us a spiritual awakening?

Our Higher Power’s promises are sure. With every fear, we will hear that voice from within that stills our troubled minds.

Do I feel inspired?

I pray that I may do all I do with love and leave the results to my Higher Power.

I will seek inspiration today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

After distress, solace.

~ SWAHILI PROVERB ~

Newcomer

Something I've been deeply dreading for a long time has finally happened. I'm surprised that I'm feeling relief instead of misery. I wish I'd known sooner that I was going to feel this way.

Sponsor

I'm often startled to discover that my Higher Power doesn't have the same deadlines for my happiness that I myself have imagined. When my mother died after a long illness, many things ended, including the chance that she might still, after so many years, nurture me in the ways that I'd wished for. What I'd tried so hard to hold at bay had come. I was powerless, confronted with mortality. As I went through the grieving process, an energy I couldn't have previously imagined began to bubble up in me. I understood, at last, that I didn't have forever to live my own life. I plunged into a period of creativity. I moved to a place that was more congenial than where I'd been living. I went back into therapy to address some unresolved conflicts. I let go of work and relationships that were unsatisfying and made more time for pleasure. My fear was over; I'd gone through the worst and survived. I had a life to live and to celebrate.

What we envision as the end of everything can turn out to be the beginning of a more expansive period in our lives, an opening of perspectives we would have had no access to without going through loss, suffering, or failure.

Today, changes I've feared do not destroy me; they open doors to the unexpected.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

If life is only a preparation for something yet to come, as many believe, then the manner of our living will determine the success or failure in this preparation. It would naturally follow, therefore, that a man could not live a devil and die a saint.

We do not feel that we are qualified to evaluate the worth of deathbed repentance but this we do feel—if you live right, deathbed repentance would hardly seem necessary.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Uselessness and Self-Pity

Dear Lord, when I was deep within the bewilderment and agony of my addition, I often moaned, "What's the use? Nobody cares." I was a lost person. I thought I was incapable of doing anything worthwhile for anyone, including myself. Shame and guilt made me wallow in self-pity. By working the Program and focusing on positive things, I have changed. I have become more useful to myself and others. By recognizing my limitations and avoiding perfectionism, I've moved away from self-pity toward self-worth.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

FORESIGHT AND HINDSIGHT

When you have to make a decision or take a certain action, all that you can do is to do the best you know at that time, and if you do that you will have done your duty. In the light of after events it may turn out that you made a mistake, but that will not be your fault because you could not possibly do better than the best you know at the time.

Claim that the Christ is guiding you; and believe it, and the ultimate outcome will be favorable even if things seem to go wrong for a time.

And the Lord shall guide thee continually . . . (Isaiah 58:11).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

President of the Inner States

Confront the dark parts of yourself and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.

~ August Wilson ~

I am angry at myself because I failed in my goal of becoming president of the United States by 1996," Jerry stated. "It was my lifelong ambition, and I am ashamed that I have not completed my mission.”

"What would you do if you were President?" I asked.

"I would free the country of oppression," Jerry answered vehemently.

"It sounds as if you have been oppressing yourself by beating yourself for not attaining your goal," I suggested. "Perhaps you could begin to free the country of oppression by releasing yourself. If you quit beating yourself up emotionally, you might not need to be president; maybe your aspiration for the office was a reflection of your desire for your own freedom."

Jesus instructed, "Before you attempt to remove a speck from the eye of another, take the log out of your own eye.” Masterful psychology and metaphysics! When we feel driven to fix the outer world, it is really our inner world we are seeking to improve. While it is tempting to project our need onto others, it is really inner transformation we seek.

It is useless to try to change another person unless we have first changed ourselves. A Course in Miracles asks us, “Can the world be saved if you are not?" Our primary responsibility is the healing of our own mind. With our own self purified, we are in a perfect position to see how we can truly be of service.

Help me to heal my own mind so that I may be a pure channel of blessing. Help me to awaken, and let me not be seduced by projecting my needs onto others.

I look within for truth and improve the world by transforming my own consciousness.