The act of forgiveness

[MajestyJo]

No one hurt me more than I hurt myself. I had to do an inventory and get honest instead of blaming everything on others.

It was, so my ex-husband hit me, tried to choke me, put me through a wall and leave the imprint of my body in the plaster. along with the mental and emotional abuse; I did harm to myself, just for choosing to staying there and accepting it, by fearing I didn't deserve better, by fearing that I couldn't do things on my own, by choosing to play the victim and the martyr. Being the scapegoat by taking all the blame onto myself, for their issues as well as mine. I can remember my mother saying when I was a child, "Look at what you made me do." I did not know that I didn't have the power.

I took on so much guilt and responsibility, that wasn't mine to take on. To help forgive myself, I had to take an inventory of what was mine and what was not mine to take on. So much of it was false.