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Humor "We Are Not A Glum Lot." Share Articles, Humor, Inspirations, Jokes, News, Poems, Quotes, Writings, etc. Here. Keep It Clean Please. |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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![]() 'Twas the day after Thanksgiving ‘Twas the day after Thanksgiving, it has come at last The memories of yesterday’s feast, they are all in the past Getting up at midnight to do your shopping The blood vessels in your eyes are sure to be popping The turkey you ate, it has not even been digested And you know hundreds of morons will soon be arrested Rush your family out of the house, you need to get your rest Will you become immersed in Black Friday madness, the ultimate test? Who really cares about Thanksgiving, it’s just an ordinary day The pilgrims who we celebrate, they were murderers anyway So come on, get your wallet, and fill it with cash 5 a.m shopping at Wal-Mart is going to be a bash! When you cannot buy your favorite items, you are filled with sorrow You’re too dumb to realize, they’ll be there tomorrow You lash out at the cashier, you attack your loved ones A barbarian you look like, even to Attila and his Huns Running through the store you go, a maniac with a cart Like a killer you pounce, with a black hole for a heart In the sporting goods section, someone was strangled with a fishing net Hey, it beats getting run over by a shopping cart in Target Every store offers such great discounts In hospitals and trauma centers, the number of wounded amounts People just don’t understand, this is the American way Destroy all that you want, just make sure that you pay The stores open so early, they call it “Moonlight Madness” The crazed psycho shoppers fill me with sadness Trampled to death someone will be As they always are, by a 400 pound woman who has a bum knee When you get to the checkout line, you realize the store told a lie Remember when you came through the turnstiles wondering if you were going to die? But you don’t care, you got what you came for Just make sure to get dad’s gift at the discount liquor store The Macy’s Parade, you had watched it the day before When all you wanted to do was shop, my, what a bore! You come home late at night, and watch the news reports of all the shoppers that died But you got your child the latest toy, and are more than satisfied Pretty soon, it will be the Christmas season We have to call it the “Holidays”, for a non-offensive reason A month later, the stockings will be hung by the chimney with care As I hope the apocalypse soon will be there - Greg Caggiano
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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