The Gorilla

[roverl0616]

It's astonishing that we persist in using our self will when we're newcomers and well into our recovery. We are taught that there's a different way, a better way to do things, but we still hang on to using our self will. This idea helped me a lot to let go. Imagine every day that we go into this room where we meet this gorilla that beats us up, but one day when we go to the room the gorilla's gone. Even though we know this is going to hurt us we go looking for the gorilla because it's what we know it's what we are familiar with. This is what we are doing when we continued to try to use our self will. It's because it's what we know, even though we know it doesn't work we still do this. Instead we can now use a better way of doing things through what we have found in the program of recovery. We just need to stop choosing to go looking for that gorilla of self will that keeps beating us up.