QUESTION???

[MajestyJo]

Do you like change?

Have always embraced change. Going back to where I came from was never an option. As your picture says, we need to grow. In order to do that we often need to be nurtured, loved and encouraged along the way.

Remember, if you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns!

~Allison Gappa Bottke

If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree.

~Jim Rohn

[MajestyJo]

I love this saying......

For years I resisted change because I was afraid that growth was always a painful process. I guess it had seemed that most of the lessons I had learned in life, and my opportunities to grow had always been coupled with a lot of misery. It suddenly occurred to me though that in resisting change and growth, I was also wasting a lot of time, energy and emotion. Things that could be better spent on other things.

Why does change come with such difficulty? Why do we allow ourselves to become stuck in ruts? I think the greatest stumbling block to freeing ourselves from these chains is fear. Fear of change, fear of stepping out into the unknown, fear of judgment, fear of failure . . . In giving in to our fear I think we fail ourselves. I think we prevent ourselves from becoming and being the best that we can be.

It's through the struggles and the agonies we suffer, that we are made stronger. It is in the growth that we learn and evolve and become what we really want to become. Change is not always bad. In recovery, I have learned that nothing in my life will ever change if I don't make any changes in my life.....

“Each blade of grass has it’s Angel that bends over it and whispers, “Grow, grow.” --- unknown

Just as we are also blessed! I hope we all learn to listen to that angel's voice and bloom where we're planted. Life isn't always going to get better by walking away from people, places or things..... I was blessed by that angel, when I found my recovery friends!

This reminds me of the saying, "We get exactly the right amount of light for the Step we are working on. I do believe in angels, certainly, Earthly Ones.

[MajestyJo]

more language of letting go
September 11

Listen to yourself

In the Bible, God tells us, "Be still and know that I am God." Learn to silence the chattering of your ego, whether through prayer, meditation, or a long walk in the park. Find that place where you can detach from the pressures of the world. Find that place where your body and spirit work together in harmony.

Being aware of your true self is the best way to free yourself from the controlling, manipulative behaviors of others. You don't need the right car, the right shoes, the right girlfriend to be complete. All you really need is to be yourself.

Your spirit is the real you. Let it guide you.

Be still. Listen to your spirit say, I am, and I am enough.

In the silence, you'll hear God.

God, help me be quiet so I can hear you.

Do you take time to listen?

[MajestyJo]

Much better at this. I had to make a point of putting on my listening ears on instead of sitting there with my thoughts in my head, trying to figure out what I wanted to say. If I listen to others, when it is my time to share, it comes from the heart.

[MajestyJo]

God's Will, My will?

For me, when I turn my day over, I trust that I am walking in His will. For me, that is the program. If I take it back and come against a wall, I know. It is often the little things for me, going to Jackson Square and not seeing anyone I know or not connecting to anyone in the mall. At first it was just 12 Step Recovery people because I have gone to many fellowships in the city, but then there were the people from the YWCA, the people from bridge, the people from Housing, and it all made for that feeling of I am not alone. When I feel 'isolated' is a good indication of no spiritual connection to my Higher Power.

It isn't about the chaos around me, it is the chaos within me. Why things happen, I don't know. Having had a brother who died at two and a mother at 40, I questioned this for many years, more importantly, I questioned why I was living!

To my understanding, through the program, I have a purpose and I was chosen to be here. When I have completed my task, then it will be my time to go. When I look around, I feel truly blessed.

I also think this is why it is suggested we have sponsors. Someone who can give an outside objective as to the direction our lives our taking. Self-will run riot is the nature of my disease. If something feels good, doesn't mean it is right. In fact, it just may be an indicator that it is time to move on or make changes.

This weekend we had our Hamilton Bridge Tournament. I was at the hotel at noon, played bridge at one, went for dinner about six with ten other people, played bridge at 7:30 p.m. and got home at 11. I went back on Saturday at one and was home at five. I was so tired, and so fatigued that I turned down a dinner invitation from my partner. I told him I would take a raincheck because I felt too tired to eat. I also felt I was too out of it to make a good companion and the fatigue was so bad I didn't know if I could sit up to eat and the old fears of making a donkey of myself in public by dropping my fork, my food, etc. wouldn't allow me to go. When I am really tired the tremon disorder in my left hand gets really bad. When I walked into my apartment my son was frying perogies with onions for my supper. That was another reason I had turned down the other invitation, but if I hadn't been so tired, I would have gone. The food would keep or my son would have ate it all! I was so tired that when I went to cut my perogy, the plate landed on my lap and on the floor. Peas don't make for good eating with a tremon disorder.

I don't know if it was God's will or not. I enjoyed the two days. I was with friends. I didn't have good results on Friday with Barb but I was playing with A and B players and best percentage was 50%, but my Bruce and I placed 3rd in our section with 56% on Saturday. The director of the club gave me a free game on Friday night to stay and play. Without that, I would have gone home. I had nothing planned for Sunday, so it was a complete down day and I felt brain dead. Was it God's will? I think so. I might have been a bit willful by staying Friday but I was able to go back on Saturday and do well, so that was a good sign. I was able to be responsible to my partner and didn't let him down.

I didn't let myself down, I knew that I would be down for two or three days. It is raining here this morning and I had to cancel physio. It rained all weekend so that was another contributing factor. Tonight I am playing bridge again. Sparing for a guy who has gone on holidays and taking his place on Swiss Teams. Not my favorite thing, but said "yes" and although I regret it, because I didn't know the premier of Dancing with the Stars is on tonight, I will go to bridge.

When I live in the day, and in the moment, turn that day over to my Higher Power, pray and mediate, I feel that I am walking in His Light. When things happen as a result of other people's decisions, then I turn those over to Him too. I just choose not to be victimized or play the martyr role in today. I have freedom of choice, and I can make another decision based on my Higher Power's direction.

I try to practice self-care. What is good for me? Not in a selfish, self-centered way, but what is good for my health and well being. I can't give away what I don't have. I was drained yesterday and that is why I didn't post. I felt I had nothing left over to give. I needed to top me up before I could give to others. I never posted on my own sites either. I think I answer a few e-mails and talked on messenger only to say I could not stay on line. I was approached already today and had to say the same thing.

This is something I posted on another site in 2009. I find myself back there the last few days. Just not being able to be on my computer. I brought out my cards on Friday night, used a new angel deck and asked it if it was good to me to go to my meeting or stay home. It told me travel, which is a bit funny, because all I have to do is cross the street.

I have put my cards away for a while and don't bring them out much, but maybe this is a good sign that I need to go back to my cards and connect with my angels.

[MajestyJo]

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day)

Happy or unhappy, families are all mysterious.

~ Gloria Steinem

Children often adopt roles to help them cope within a dysfunctional family. You may identify with these roles.

• Hero. Your role was making everyone in the family look good. Your struggles today are with your need for perfection and learning how to face conflict.

• Mascot. Your role was to make light of the bad situation in your home. Your struggles today are dealing with anger and resentment, and understanding the difference between humor and sarcasm.

• Lost Child. Your role was maintaining silence and staying out of everyone’s way. This timidity is something you need to learn how to overcome today so you can find your voice, express your feelings, and take risks.

• Scapegoat. Your role was to act out in ways that created distraction from the addict and family problems. More often than not your actions resulted in punishment and abuse. You need to come to terms with childhood abuse and the consequences of rebellious actions.

• Caretaker. Your role was to try to make everyone happy. Your struggles today are learning how to balance taking care of others with developing the ability to focus on yourself.

I will shed my childhood role so I can become who I need and want to be.

So glad that it is OK to be me and I don't have to go there in today. Are you still role playing?

[MajestyJo]

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.

November 14

Letting Our Anger Out

It's okay to be angry, but it isn't healthy to be resentful. Regardless of what we learned as children, no matter what we saw role modeled, we can learn to deal with our anger in ways that are healthy for us and for those around us. We can have our angry feelings. We can connect with them, own them, and feel them, express them, release them, and be done with them.

We can learn to listen to what anger is telling us about what we want and need in order to take care of ourselves.

Sometimes we can even indulge in angry feelings that aren't justified. Feelings are just feelings; there is no morality in the feeling, only in our behavior. We can feel angry without hurting or abusing others or ourselves. We can learn to deal with anger in ways that benefit our relationships instead of ways that harm them.

If we don't feel our angry feelings today, we will need to face them tomorrow.

Today, I will let myself feel my anger. I will express my anger appropriately, without guilt. Then I will be done with it.

Today I know that whatever ability, talents and energy I have are perfect for this moment. Today I know that God gives me all that I need to do what he wants me to do in this day. --Ruth Fishel

Didn't realize that resentments were the underlying force behind anger. It is okay to be angry, but we can't hold onto it.

When I find myself resentful, I need to pray for the other person. They may not change, but I will, if I am honest and sincere.

Do I hold onto my resentment or am I willing to let them go?

Many people resent Christmas and the holiday season. They have resentments against family members, and isolate during the season, or go out and drown their feelings instead of dealing with them.

[MajestyJo]

Journey To The Heart

Protect Your Energy

Just as we strive to protect and conserve earth’s energy resources, we can strive to protect and conserve our own. Become more aware of the impact of things, people, and activities on you and your energy. What feeds you, charges you? What drains and depletes you?

As you grow and become more sensitive to how things feel to you, you’ll naturally grow to dislike and be uncomfortable with whatever drains or negatively impacts your energy. Yes, some difficult, draining situations are inevitable. But we can learn to protect ourselves in those situations. Sometimes we need to let go of people, places, and behaviors that don’t work for us anymore, that drain, exhaust, and deplete us.

Pay attention to the impact of certain people, places, behaviors, and events on your energy. Pay attention to how you feel when you eat certain foods, drink certain beverages, go certain places. Learn to listen to your body, your emotions, and your heart. Be prepared to let go of some things and people along the way. Be gentle with yourself while you do.

Learn to conserve your energy. It is a precious, valuable resource.

We can ask for help. If I don't like where I am at, I ask for the knowing as to what I need to change it. It is important not to take on what is not mine. I have to remember to take my QTIP (Quit Taking It Personal) with me.

We waste so much energy with worry and anxiety about things we have no power over. A friend gave me a book a few year ago about energy vampires, who try to steal our energy. I don't know about you, but I never seem to have enough that I can afford to give away.

What I put out, I get back. If I give out negative, then that is the kind of energy that comes back to me and I wonder, what is this stuff? When in fact it is my own crap, and the ego and the Self tries to play the blame game and dump it on others, because it couldn't possibly be me.

Several years ago when I was working with my spiritual advisor, we would say to each other, "Ewwww! Is this your stuff or mine?" Quite often we both contributed to the chaos.

[MajestyJo]

Each Day a New Beginning

Surviving meant being born over and over. --Erica Jong

We have decided to live. And each day we make the decision anew. Each time we call a friend, work a Step, or go to a meeting, we are renewing our contract with life. We are being reborn. Before coming to this program we died, emotionally and spiritually, many times. Some of us nearly died physically. But here we are, starting a new day, looking for guidance from one another. We are the survivors. And survival is there for the taking.

We will have days when we struggle with our decision to live. We will want to throw in the towel. We will want to give in or give up. But we've learned from one another about choices. And the choice to survive, knowing we never have to do it alone, gets easier with time.

I am one of the survivors. Today is my day for celebration.

Are you a survivor?

[MajestyJo]

Journey to the Heart

The Answer May Be Right in Front of You

It was late at night. I had just pulled into Chimayo, New Mexico. The streets were poorly lit, addresses and signs were difficult to see. I had been driving around for what seemed like hours, looking for an address. Finally, in desperation. I stopped the car, got out, and flagged someone down. A man stopped, but said he couldn’t help me. I was at my wits end. I turned around, staring frantically at the mailbox in front of me. To my surprise, I was right where I wanted to go.

How often we wave our hands in panic and despair, certain the answer, the insight, the piece of information we need will never come. Yet often the answer we’re seeking is right in front of us.

There’s a part of us, our heart, that knows where we’re going, knows what we need, knows what the next step is. Our heart will lead us on. Our soul will move us forward. Our instincts will take us home like a radar signal beaming us to safety.

Feel your panic. Feel your frustration. But keep your eyes and your heart open. The answer may be closer than you think– maybe it’s right in front of you.

Do you do the next right thing?

This reminds me that last night I did a meditation, and then proceeded to do what I wanted any way. That process was nothing, but sit and watch some of the Olympics.

[MajestyJo]

Today's Reminder - Courage to Change January 21

I no longer have to wait until my health, my financial situation, or my emotional state collapses before paying attention to my needs. Today I cn practice becoming more aware of what my inner voice is trying to teach me. I can listen and learn.

"Don't listen to friends when the Friend inside you says, 'Do This!'"

Mahatma Gandhi

Do you listen?

Just thought this was special. It is about me being in tune with me and connected to my Higher Power.

There are still times that I can have a running debate with myself. Why should I doubt and debate the Voice within when I have ask for guidance and direction? Duh! Best I be quiet! As the slogan says, "Hesitate and Meditate." Listen and Learn!

Remember the article, "Listen to what I am not saying." Often body language and actions, speak much louder than words.

Would treat myself, and then I saw that I was spoiling myself, and found myself back in the "I" and had let go and allow my God to direct my path. The gifts were large and small, from a sunbeam to a new apartment. I can't hear if I am shut down.

[MajestyJo]

More Language Of Letting Go

The adventure is in the trip

We were on our way to the drop zone when Chip turned to me.

“Let’s go to San Francisco and see a widgeon.”

“Widgeon?” I said. “Okay. Let’s go.”

“These are the rules,” he said, pulling off the highway and getting back on the exit ramp heading north. “We’ll stop at the house for a minute. But we can’t pack. We can only take with us what we have on us now. We’ll have to trust ourselves to get whatever else we need on the way.”

“Okay,” I said. “You’re on.


I didn’t know what a widgeon was.

Four hours later, we were walking barefoot on Morro Beach, just south of Big Sur. A big rock, one that looked like the fossil remains of a dinosaur hunched over in the water, beckoned. So did the impending sunset. I still didn’t know what a widgeon was, but I was glad we were searching for one

“You’d better call Andy,” I said, watching the waves crash against the dinosaur rock. “You guys were supposed to go climbing tomorrow.”

Chip took the cell phone I was handing him.

“I’ve got an idea,” I said. “Tell Andy to get on a plane, fly to San Francisco, wait for us to pick him up, then come with us to find a widgeon.”

Chip called Andy. Thirty-five mintues later, Andy called back. “I’ll be at the United gate at the San Francisco airport at 9:34. See you!” he said.

Chip and I looked at each other. It was 6:34. We were two hundred miles south of San Francisco and had already started traveling the One through Big Sur– a winding two lane highway that climbed high banks, offered a breathtaking view, and needed to be traveled slowly and cautiously.

Half an hour later, we looked at the odometer. We had gone twelve miles.

Chip turned east on a road the suddenly appeared. It was slightly bigger than a one-lane road, winding its way through the mountains that separated us from the interstate and a sixty-five mile per hour limit. He drove like a Daytona master. Forty-five minutes later, we had traveled another twelve miles.

Focus, focus, focus. Focus on the destination, not the journey. Just get there.

At 10:35, one hour past Andy’s arrival time, we pulled up in front of the baggage claim. A six foot, two inch Texas blond guy sat on a bench, reading a book. We honked. He looked up, waved, then lumbered over to the car and slid into the backseat.

“What’s a widgeon?” he said.

The next morning, we set out for Ace Aviation, the home of the widgeon. We didn’t know where it was, but we headed in what we thought was the right direction. Suddenly, Chip pointed to a sign. “Seaplanes!” We pulled off the road, and went in.

“Have you heard of Ace Aviation?” we wasked.

“Yup,” she said.

“Is there a widgeon there?” we asked.

“Yup,” she said.

“Will you tell us where it is?” we asked.

She did.

One hour later, we pulled into the parking lot for Ace Aviation. For the next hour, we fawned over widgeons– amphibious planes with a peculiar yet immediate and undeniable charm. The name painted on one widgeon read, “Da Plane.” It was the seaplane from Fantasy Island.

We found a hot springs motel on the last evening of the trip. Sitting in the outdoor hot tub, I found many things remarkable: the almost full moon in the sky, the calming effect of the water, and the toothpaste provided by the hotel. All along the trip, our wishes seemed to magically appear– from a restaurant on a desolate strip of beach, to a restroom in the middle of a forest, to a widgeon in a widgeon hospital.

I’ve said before; I’ll say it again. It’s good to have a destination, but the adventure is in the trip.

Take a moment. Review where you’ve been this past year. Be grateful for all you’ve experienced and the people who have come into your life. Search your heart. Let go of any resentments. Take a moment and reflect on your successes. Be grateful for them; be grateful for all the ordinary moments,too. Take a look at your goal list. Some things have taken place. Other things may not have materialized yet. Don’t give up yet. Let go. Tomorrow, you can make a new list.

God, thank you for this year. Clear my heart so I can start tomorrow with a clean slate.

Do you know what a widgen is.

[MajestyJo]

Did you pray? You can't wear out the Serenity Prayer. It is good for all occasions.

[MajestyJo]

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Screams or Music?

Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to become a noose.

~ Dan McKinnon ~

When the Beatles’ 1995 reunion was accompanied by a in-depth television documentary on the incomparable talent and success, the band members spoke candidly about their experience. Being the best-known and most sought-after people on the planet wasn’t all fun and games. “After two years of intense touring and fending off all kinds of people who wanted something from us, we were bored, frustrated, and going buggy,” one of the Beatles noted. “Our music was stagnating because we couldn’t hear a note we were playing, and neither could the screamers. You can’t grow, improve, or be creative in that kind of atmosphere.” Subsequently, the group quit touring and put their energy into innovative recording, which proved to be the most productive and rewarding segment of their career. During that period, the Beatles released Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, which became a landmark in music history and one of the most celebrated albums of all time. We cannot breathe or wax creative in an atmosphere of inappropriate adoration or limelight. Nor can we truly enjoy the object of our affection if we are hysterical over it. The world would tell us that fame, fortune, and worldly approval equal success. Yet these men who were the most famous in the world eventually wanted no part of the mania.

The only true measure of success is peace, happiness, and spiritual reward. Worldly accolades mean nothing in the Kingdom of Love.

I pray that my intentions remain pure and that I put Spirit before any worldly illusions or distractions.

I move forward with my vision on peace. I succeed because my heart is pure.

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Screams or Music?

Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to become a noose.

~ Dan McKinnon ~

When the Beatles’ 1995 reunion was accompanied by a in-depth television documentary on the incomparable talent and success, the band members spoke candidly about their experience. Being the best-known and most sought-after people on the planet wasn’t all fun and games. “After two years of intense touring and fending off all kinds of people who wanted something from us, we were bored, frustrated, and going buggy,” one of the Beatles noted. “Our music was stagnating because we couldn’t hear a note we were playing, and neither could the screamers. You can’t grow, improve, or be creative in that kind of atmosphere.” Subsequently, the group quit touring and put their energy into innovative recording, which proved to be the most productive and rewarding segment of their career. During that period, the Beatles released Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, which became a landmark in music history and one of the most celebrated albums of all time. We cannot breathe or wax creative in an atmosphere of inappropriate adoration or limelight. Nor can we truly enjoy the object of our affection if we are hysterical over it. The world would tell us that fame, fortune, and worldly approval equal success. Yet these men who were the most famous in the world eventually wanted no part of the mania.

The only true measure of success is peace, happiness, and spiritual reward. Worldly accolades mean nothing in the Kingdom of Love.

I pray that my intentions remain pure and that I put Spirit before any worldly illusions or distractions.

I move forward with my vision on peace. I succeed because my heart is pure.

Have you done the Steps? Have you done Step Four?

[MajestyJo]

All we are asked to do is try. The failure is in the not trying.

Do you try every day or do you give up?