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Old 08-05-2014, 01:01 AM   #2
MajestyJo
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Location: Hamilton, ON
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This was something I did to help other recovering and addicts in meetings, detox, jail, treatment centers, anniversaries, and one on one in person at my home, detox, and jail.

When I share with people in the church all I got was argument and called a sinner and going to hell. I was saved at the age of 10 and baptized at 14. I never lost sight of God unless I wanted to out of guilt and shame.

When I came into recovery, I made things right with God, went back to church, but in and of itself, it was not enough. A lot depended on the church I went to, but I needed the spiritual program of AA, NA, and Al-Anon in order to heal.

I never lost God, He was always there. If He hadn't been, I would be dead. As I heard today, ask for forgiveness and then forgive yourself.

I don't go to church for the same reason I don't go to meetings. Can't do steps, although they do have wheel chair access. I have trouble sitting for an hour, these days, even when I am posting, I have to get up and do walk about. I know I can do this at a meeting and at church, yet I don't like to distract people. The key thing is whether I can hear and concentrate through the pain. I can't take my pain out on others. I also don't want it to rule my life. I refuse to take medication to make it go away. My sobriety is more important than popping a pill, especially one for pain.

Years ago, because of the reaction I got from church people, I started calling myself a Godly Heathen. Today it doesn't matter what others think, I found my God, the one of my understanding, and together we have stay 22 years 11 months, and 5 days.

My doctor has me on Lyrica and I asked to be taken off of it and he suggested a little more time. I know the pain is still there, for one thing it is for neuropathy, and I have gout, pseudo gout, and osteoarthritis there too. Why take a pill that doesn't work. One is good, more is not better.

The good thing is that my pain draws me closer to my God.

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Love always,

Jo

I share because I care.


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