Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - September

[bluidkiti]

September 16

Step by Step

"In two ways I may be a little different from other alcoholics. First, we all hear at AA meetings about those who have lost everything, those who have been in jail, those who have been in prison, those who have lost their families, those who have lost their income. I never lost any of it. I never was on skid row. I made more money the last year of my drinking than I ever made before in my whole life. My wife never hinted that she would leave me. Everything that I touched from grammar school on was successful. I was president of my grammar school student body. I was president of all of my classes in high school and in my last year I was president of that student body. I was president of each class in the University, and president of that student body. I was voted the man most likely to succeed. The same thing occurred in medical school. I belong to more medical societies and honor societies than men 10 to 20 years my senior.
'Mine was the skid row of success. The physical skid row in any city is miserable. The skid row of success is just as miserable.'" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Stopped in Time," Ch 6 ("Physician, Heal Thyself!"), p 345.

Today, no pride in successes or acquisitions of things in my life - for they are no refuge from alcoholism. Skid row is just as miserable in my own home as it is under a bridge or in a homeless shelter. Responsibility comes with success and material gain as it does with irresponsible choices, and alcoholic drinking is not the responsible response to life when it is good any more than when it is bad. If I choose to "reward" my successes and material gains with irresponsible drinking, I risk turning my living room into skid row. Today, I accept responsibility to my sober life just as I am responsible for the consequences of my drinking. What I have today is not promised me tomorrow. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SOLUTION

Be part of the solution, not the problem.

~ Anonymous ~

When we were practicing our addiction, we traveled alone. We created short-term friendships with fellow users. These dissolved when the "party was over." Our addiction demanded from us absolute obedience. There could be no intimate friendships. No relationship was more important than the addiction. Any that moved in too close was beaten away by the disease. We were solitary, held hostage in our own prison.

The Fellowship has broken the grip of this isolation. The miracle of recovery is that of men and women sharing their experience, strength, and hope with each other. We are together; we share with each other what we know, what we experience; we rely on each other. The Fellowship is a circle of spiritual vitality that energizes anyone who decides to join hands.

Alone I am the problem. Together with others, I am part of the solution.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

~ Will Rogers ~

When we are in the midst of our worst problems, we often behave stubbornly, trying harder to gain control of what is out of control. Because we feel alone, or be-cause we insist on doing things our own way, we repeatedly apply the same solutions that repeatedly produce the same problems. We forget that as human beings we require the help of others to live happy and healthy lives. We need all the help we can get. Without the input and wisdom of others, we are stuck with our limited or mistaken ideas.

Perhaps today we are faced with problems that have no clear solutions. We can’t see an obvious way around them, and we can’t see a new answer. The sooner we accept our true nature and bring others into our questions, the sooner we will be able to consider new ideas and take in the wisdom of our friends.

Today I resolve to talk to my friends about the matters that weigh on my mind.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When I feed on resentments and anger, I am giving someone else rent-free space in my head.

~ Kathy Kendall ~

Becoming consumed by our emotions is all too familiar. It was a favorite pastime before we got clean and sober, and it still may “own” us. Much to our dismay, sponsors remind us that we’re getting a payoff or we wouldn’t continue the practice. They also tell us it’s never too late to give it up.

We can begin immediately. Let’s breathe in the positive. It takes the same effort as dwelling on resentments, and the outcome is so much healthier. Let’s bring our blessings to mind first. Breathe in the images of friends and the smiles we share. Breathe in the image of our Higher Power and those comforting arms. Breathe in the bright light of healing that is the program’s gift. Breathe in the peace that comes with knowing all is finally well.

Giving our minds over to loving images heals us. The hurts of the past can reach us no more if we breathe in the good.

I will breathe in my Higher Power today. I will dwell on the safety and serenity of my journey.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am developing faith in my own experience

When I first started having emotional problems, I did not know what was happening. I didn’t have a clue about handling the problem or its source. It didn't help that family and friends understood even less.

When I realized that my moods were out of control, I got professional help. By and by, I got stable and began to accept my emotional life (although others still did not). I began to trust myself more and take greater responsibility for managing my illnesses. I learned that I need not believe what others might say about my illnesses and about what I feel or experience. With my time in recovery, I can simply believe in myself.

I will write about, or draw a picture of, the most recent time I trusted my intuition.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Blessed are they which do hunger
and thirst after righteousness:
for they shall be filled.

~ Matthew 5:6 ~

A common characteristic of early recovery is impatience. We’ve lived in misery and chaos for so long that it’s hard to wait for our lives to change. And we are spiritually and morally bankrupt — we have no reserves of patience to draw on. That is why a solid recovery program can be very helpful. We can see the immediate results of our efforts — from illness to wellness in Twelve simple Steps. God, in His wisdom, does not withhold the rewards until the end.

Every step of the way, He is with us, encouraging our efforts and lifting our spirits. He celebrates our joy and comforts us in sadness. We find we can turn our will and lives over to Him with trust. And with this first act of surrender, we find a new life filled with tolerance, kindness, and love.

Today I pray that You will always allow me to see the amazing greatness of Your Power in my life. Thank You for Your many blessings.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Today is life—the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today.... Live today with gusto.

~ Dale Carnegie ~

Your tomorrows can be quite different from your yester-days when you strive to be the best you can be today. What you choose to do right now can set the tone not just for the hours that lie ahead, but also the days, months, and years in your future.

In his poem “Just for Today,” Kenneth L. Holmes details actions that can be taken by those in recovery to make the most of each day. These include: tackling the problems of today, not all of your problems; being happy; strengthening your mind; adjusting to what is and not what you would like; treating others well; focusing on yourself and not on others; following the program; meditating; and being unafraid. He writes at the beginning of his poem: “I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.” What can you do today that will help you become a better person now, and in the future?

Just for today, I will do something outside of my comfort zone.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

~ James Thurber ~

What is it we fear the most? Going into a grocery store or going to a gathering of strangers? If we teach ourselves to look not in fear but in awareness, we might see the grocery store's well-stocked delicatessen or the lovely outfit worn by someone at a social gathering.

Who makes us angry? Perhaps the boss does, or maybe a loved one. If we look at him or her not in anger but in awareness, we might see the boss has many tensions and pressures, or a loved one is tired and can't be supportive.

If we look only at our feelings of anger or fear, then those are all we'll see. But if we look around and become aware of the issues of anger or fear, suddenly the anger and fear won't be the focus anymore. Through awareness, we'll learn more about people and we'll gain a greater understanding of their behaviors. Through this awareness, we'll change our reactions of fear and anger to understanding and acceptance.

I can become aware of my feelings and understand them. Then I can work on changing these feelings for the better.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Letting go of guilt

Once in the grips of addiction, we used mood-altering chemicals less because we wanted to than because we were hooked. We hurt ourselves and others less because we wanted to than because we were hooked. We felt guilty, and as our disease progressed, guilt overwhelmed us.

Being clean and sober, we need to let go of this crippling guilt along with our insane past. To do this, we use Steps Four and Five. As we work these soul-cleansing Steps, we forgive ourselves. By forgiving ourselves, we come to love ourselves and so become able to love others.

Am I letting go of guilt?

Higher Power, help me to work the Steps and forgive myself.

If I feel guilty about something today,
I will practice forgiving myself by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

~ MARK TWAIN ~

Newcomer

There's something about myself that I still haven't told you. It's an old secret, and I still don't feel able to talk about it, even though I know you're open-minded.

Sponsor

I'm glad that you feel trusting enough to reveal that there's still more to know about you. Many of us feel shame about an event from the past, many of us live with a habit, a feeling, or an inadequacy that doesn't fit our image of who we think we should be. We've done a lot of work to deny or disown our pasts, presenting a "cleaned-up" self to the outside world that we think will keep us safe from rejection.

But we don't entirely succeed in erasing the part of ourselves that threatens our self-image. Shame and denial remain with us, no matter how much energy we're using to sustain the illusion of a self we believe is more acceptable than our real self. When we begin to test this belief by sharing something we've been holding inside, we become more real to ourselves and others. We experience relief and increased energy.

You may not feel entirely safe in discussing this matter with me at this time; you may prefer to talk with a spiritual adviser, therapist, or program friend whose experience is closer to your own. I respect your need to begin to take this courageous step in a way that feels as safe as possible to you.

Today, I'm willing to bring into the light a part of myself that I've disowned.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The main objective in talking is to say something, not just anything. Words give a truer picture of a man than does a photograph, for words are reflections of the inner man, beyond the range of the finest camera.

Most of us alcoholics have been hurt more by our own words than we have by the words of others. Let us screen our words through our minds and give expression only to those words that are products of a sober and thinking intellect.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

If I'm Discouraged Today

If I'm discouraged today, God of my understanding, let me be able to give thanks for my recovery, my health, my family, and my friends. If I’m discouraged today, let me remember the sadness and problems before recovery. Let me appreciate today and how much better it is than the life I left behind. If I'm discouraged today, may I remember my spiritual journey is the sometimes painful process of learning to let go of things that are not important.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

BUILT-IN HEALING

The body cannot resist healing. It cannot even try to resist it. It cannot, so to speak, even want to resist it, because it is not intelligent. It is important to understand this fact when praying for your own healing or that of another because otherwise, without realizing it, you are likely to enter on a mental struggle with the body to compel it to change; and, of course, such a proceeding is quite useless and also fatiguing. It is your sincere belief about your body that has to be changed—changed from false belief to the Truth.

Then . . . thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee . . . (Isaiah 58:8).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Whole Truth

The truth shall set you free.

~ Jesus Christ ~

A married man is interested in me," Marilyn told me. "But I don't feel attracted to him."

"What did you tell him?" I asked.

"l told him that I do not date married men."

"When I heard Marilyn's response, something did not sit well with me. "You did not tell him the whole truth," I ventured.

"What do you mean?"

"The bottom line is that you are not interested in a relationship with this man. The fact that he is married is secondary. What would you do if he got divorced, showed up at your door with flowers, and announced, 'Here I am—not married any more'?"

"I guess I would tell him I was not interested in creating a relationship with him."

"That's the other half of the truth you need to tell now."

Life is a series of lessons in discovering the truth and living it. Whenever we hedge, compromise, withhold, deny, or camouflage what is really happening, sooner or later we will have to retrace our steps to the point where we diverted from the whole truth, and tell it. Speak up now, and avoid the rush later.

Take a moment to consider any areas in your life in which you have not told the whole truth. This is not to make you guilty, but to liberate you. Whenever we set aside what is happening and pretend, our "stash" robs our energy from being fully present. Consider what you would say if you had the courage to put your cards on the table. Although the prospect may be challenging, it is a lot less work than carrying a lie and then having to come back and say what you wanted to say in the first place.

Help me be aware of the truth and have the courage to live it.

The truth is my strength and my friend.