Steps By The Big Book

[bluidkiti]

SESSION 16

STEP 8 Into Action pp. 76 - 84

Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. (82: 3)

Step 8 written inventory Take Step 8

ION YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read pp. 76 - 84 in Chapter 6, Into Action on Steps 8 and 9. Many will read Step 8 in the 12&12. We are learning how to live in partnership with all men and women.

• WRITE Make a list of all people you have harmed. Write down what you did to those people.

Do not yet concern yourself now with whether or not you should, or will be able to, actually make the amends.

• TALK Talk with your sponsor and with other members of the group about whom to include on your list of amends. Step 8 is part action and part attitude: first you make a list, second you become willing.

Talk with your sponsor about what an amends might look like. (76: 3)

• PRACTICE DAILY PRAYER / MEDITATION

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 8?
We may read parts of Into Action pp. 76-84 together. Without mentioning names, talk about whom we have included on our list. For example, have I included everyone I have ever interacted with? Did I only include people I committed egregious acts against? Does my list have too many, or too few, people on it? We may share our personal writings, or choose one or more group members to speak on this Step by the Big Book.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider 76: 3-77: 1; 78: 2-79: 0; 80: 5; 83: 2, 3)
1.) All persons we had harmed– Where had I been at fault?

• How may I be clear to myself about my responsibility in the wrongs I have committed?
• How may I accept my responsibility to other people, yet not accept responsibility for other people? [Responsibility: The ability to respond appropriately.]
• May I let go of the feeling of responsibility for the way certain people treated me?
• Do I owe amends to people who have also harmed me? (77: 1)
• Have I put my own name on the top of my list of people I have harmed? Why or why not? [see 12&12, 79: 3-80: 0, 1]

2.) What harms have I committed against the people on my list?

• -Business acquaintances: (76: 4) Did I not cooperate with others or not put in a day’s work? Did I pad expense accounts or steal money?
• -Friends we have hurt. (76: 4) Have I gossiped or been emotionally unavailable? Have I stolen from them? Have I failed to keep in contact?
• -Those we hate. (77: 1) Have I wished ill-will upon them? Have I spoken badly of them? Have I committed the harms described above?
• -Our creditors: We owe money. (78: 2) Have I failed to admit that money or services are owed? Have I failed to make arrangements to pay what is owed?
• -Perhaps we have committed a criminal offense. (78: 3) Have I paid my fine and done my time? Have I made a commitment not to repeat those crimes?
• -We have domestic troubles. (80: 5) The family, (83: 1) spouse, or parents. (82: 2) Have I physically / emotionally / verbally abused my spouse, children, or other family members? Have I been emotionally unavailable to those family members?
• -Some people cannot be seen. (82: 3) Have I done any or all of the above to those I cannot locate or who have died?

3.) Willing to make amends to them all

• What have I done to become willing to make these amends?
• Why am I not willing to make amends with some of the people on my list? Do I have fear of making direct amends? Do I have persistent resentment toward some? Am I unable to see the harm I have caused?
• In making amends, am I still trying to please, or control, or behave in some other way that interferes with an honest relationship? Will it help to revisit Steps 4 and 5, and Steps 6 and 7 about these issues?
• What would my life be like if I had already made these amends?

III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 8 PRINCIPLES

• How may I move beyond my resentments, and blaming others, and believing I was the innocent victim, and my other justifications for the harms I caused?
• Are there any names I have not added to my list? Am I willing to add them now?
• Am I beginning to feel compassion and empathy for others, including myself? Describe.
• How may I have peace with my past, so that I may have peace in the present and future?

…………………………………………………………………………
IV TAKE STEP 8: WRITE THE LIST
We take Step 8 in the third paragraph of page 76.
See page 74 of this workbook for the optional Step 8 written inventory.


When we have finished writing the list of people you have harmed, then according to the Big Book and under the conditions of this day, we have taken Step 8.


Observe taking Step 8 in the manner that you and your group choose.


pp. 85-86