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September 16
Daily Reflections WE STAND--OR FALL--TOGETHER . . . no society of men and women ever had a more urgent need for continuous effectiveness and permanent unity. We alcoholics see that we must work together and hang together, else most of us will finally die alone. Alcoholics Anonymous, p.563 Just as the Twelve Steps of A.A. are written in a specific sequence for a reason, so it is with the Twelve Traditions. The First Step and the First Tradition attempt to instill in me enough humility to allow me a chance at survival. Together they are the basic foundation upon which the Steps and Traditions that follow are built. It is a process of ego deflation which allows me to grow as an individual through the Steps, and as a contributing member of a group through the Traditions. Full acceptance of the First Tradition allows me to set aside personal ambitions, fears and anger when they are in conflict with the common good, thus permitting me to work with others for our mutual survival. Without Tradition One I stand little chance of maintaining the unity required to work with others effectively, and I also stand to lose the remaining Traditions, the Fellowship, and my life. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Today, let us begin a short study of The Twelve Suggested Steps of A.A. These Twelve Suggested Steps seem to embody five principles. The first step is the membership requirement step. The second, third, and eleventh steps are the spiritual steps of the program. The fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh and tenth steps are the personal inventory steps. The eighth and ninth steps are the restitution steps. The twelfth step is the passing on of the program, or helping others, step. So the five principles are membership requirement, spiritual basis, personal inventory, restitution, and helping others. Have I made all these steps a part of me? Meditation For The Day We seem to live not only in time but also in eternity. If we abide with God and He abides with us, we may bring forth spiritual fruit which will last for eternity. If we live with God, our lives can flow as some calm river through the dry land of earth. It can cause the trees and flowers of the spiritual life--love and service--to spring forth and yield abundantly. Spiritual work may be done for eternity, not just for now. Even here on earth we can live as though our real lives were eternal. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may try to make my life like a cool river in a thirsty land. I pray that I may give freely to all who ask my help. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Beneath the Surface, p.258 Some will object to many of the questions that should be answered in a moral inventory, because they think their own character defects have not been so glaring. To these, it can be suggested that a conscientious examination is likely to reveal the very defects the objectionable questions are concerned with. Because our surface record hasn't looked too bad, we have frequently been abashed to find that this is so simply because we have buried these selfsame defects deep down in us under thick layers of self-justification. Those were the defects that finally ambushed us into alcoholism and misery. 12 & 12, pp. 53-54 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places The world will recover Belief If our recovery program is working properly, an amazing thing can happen. Instead of being the bad actors of society, we become people who can be considered solid citizens in every way.. So square that we might even have sharp corners. We might then start becoming critical of the world in general. "I've recovered, so why does the rest of the world have to be the way it is?" A person might say. "Why don't other people do something about their resentments and fears, just as I have?" In asking such a question, we're already in danger of becoming self-righteous. We can remember, however, that our Higher Power has the same concern for others that was shown to us. By the grace of God, and in God's own good time, the world can and will recover. I'll remember today that God is in charge of the world and will set all things straight, just as I was brought to recovery. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Here’s my Golden Rule: Be fair with others but then keep after them until they’re fair with you. ---Alan Alda Often in our illness we were ashamed, so we let people take advantage of us. We acted as if we had no rights. In recovery, we work hard to be fair with others. And we deserve to be treated with fairness too. If people are mean to us, we talk with them about it. If people cheat us, we ask them to set it right. In recovery, we live by our human rights. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to stand for fairness. Help me respect myself and others. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll list people who have wronged me. I will make plans to talk to those with whom I feel will listen. I will let love, not shame or fear, control my actions. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I long to speak out the intense inspiration that comes to me from lives of strong women. --Ruth Benedict Each day that we thoughtfully make choices about our behavior and our attitudes, we offer ourselves as examples to others--examples of strength. As women on recovery paths, we find encouragement from one another's successes. No one of us met our experiences very successfully before discovering this program. In most cases we lacked the structure that comes with the Steps. Direction was missing from our lives. Too often we passively bounced from man to man, job to job, drunk to drunk. When working the Steps, we are never in doubt about the manner for proceeding in any situation. The Steps provide the parameters that secure our growth. They help us to see where we've been and push us toward the goals, which crowd our dreams. We have changed. We will continue to grow. The past need haunt us no more. The future can be faced with confidence. Whatever strength is needed to fulfill our destinies will find us. And our forward steps will make the way easier for the women who follow. What a blessing these Steps are! They answer my every question. They fulfill my every need. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. He may rebel at the thought of a drastic housecleaning which requires discussion with other people. Do not contradict such views. Tell him you once felt as he does, but you doubt whether you would have made much progress had you not taken action. On your first visit tell him about the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book. p. 94 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME - From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family. I was just about as sad a figure of a man as is possible when I jumped off that freight. I found an empty refrigerator car sitting on a siding and took up residence in it. Here you could get welfare very easily, so off I went to apply. Now I would eat! It was my third time in this town, so I headed straight for my favorite bar. Here I met a barmaid who drank like a fish and was as mean a woman as I had ever seen, but she had a place to live, so I moved in. And thus began the romance of a lifetime! p. 441-442 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step One - "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable. " When first challenged to admit defeat, most of us revolted. We had approached A.A. expecting to be taught self-confidence. Then we had been told that so far as alcohol is concerned, self-confidence was no good whatever; in fact, it was a total liability. Our sponsors declared that we were the victims of a mental obsession so subtly powerful that no amount of human willpower could break it. There was, they said, no such thing as the personal conquest of this compulsion by the unaided will. Relentlessly deepening our dilemma, our sponsors pointed out our increasing sensitivity to alcohol--an allergy, they called it. The tyrant alcohol wielded a double-edged sword over us: first we were smitten by an insane urge that condemned us to go on drinking, and then by an allergy of the body that insured we would ultimately destroy ourselves in the process. Few indeed were those who, so assailed, had ever won through in single-handed combat. It was a statistical fact that alcoholics almost never recovered on their own resources. And this had been true, apparently, ever since man had first crushed grapes. p. 22 ************************************************** ********* Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. --Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993) "Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it." "If you spend more time asking appropriate questions rather than giving answers or opinions, your listening skills will increase." --Brian Koslow "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." --Benjamin Franklin "You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water." --Rabindranath Tagore *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation DENIAL "The worst vice of the fanatic is his sincerity." -- Oscar Wilde The disease of alcoholism is "cunning, baffling and powerful", and it manipulates us to believe "the lie". There is a point that we reach in our disease where we believe that crazy behavior is acceptable. Insanity becomes the order of the day. And when friends or therapists try to give us a message, we discount them. How can we break down this wall of denial? Well, there is strength in numbers. If everybody we respect is disagreeing with us, then it is time that we change. If our isolation has become a source of martyrdom, then we need to reorganize our attitude for living. Insanity and isolation are often companions; they feed off each other. We need always to stay close to our recovering community. Strength and sobriety is in numbers. God, You gave me the message to become the message. Help me to live it in the recovering community. ************************************************** ********* O lord hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. Psalm 130:2 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 God...comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Never lose your laughter even in the face of trouble and your troubles will not be as heavy. Lord, I will remain cheerful and peaceful as proof of my faith in You. To love and be loved is the greatest of joys. Lord, inspire me with ways to show my love. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Emotional Balance "Emotional balance is one of the first results of meditation, and our experience bears this out." Basic Text p.45 Though each of us defines "emotional balance" a little differently, all of us must find it. Emotional balance can mean finding and maintaining a positive outlook on life, regardless of what may be happening around us. To some, it might mean an understanding of our emotions that allows us to respond, not react, to our feelings. It can mean that we experience our feelings as intensely as we can while also moderating their excessive expression. Emotional balance comes with practice in prayer and meditation. We get quiet and share our thoughts and hopes and concerns with the God of our understanding. Then we listen for guidance, awaiting the power to act on that direction. Eventually, our skills in maintaining near-balance get better, and the wild up-and-down emotional swings we used to experience begin to settle. We develop an ability to let others feel their feelings; we have no need to judge them. And we fully embrace our own personal range of emotions. Just for today: Through regular prayer and meditation, I will discover what emotional balance means to me. pg. 270 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The sign must come like dawn. You cannot see its arrival, but know when it is there. --Diane Wakoski Let us take a break, sit by the river, and watch the current quietly flow. Let's just think, for a moment, about where the current is going, the shores it will brush on its way, the clouds reflected on its surface, the animals that come to drink from it, the bobbers it gently nudges downstream. Our lives sometimes seem like the river, wandering to the west, the south, back toward the east, seemingly without direction at all. Yet we can take comfort in this thought, for, like the river, we are always headed in the direction we are meant to go. Without trying, without knowing, we are part of the larger pattern of things, and we nourish many others just by passing through their lives. What shores will my life touch today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Sit loosely in the saddle of life. --Robert Louis Stevenson Sitting loosely in the saddle is an image of detachment for us. Detachment doesn't mean we stop caring. It means we have an inner wisdom telling us what we can control and what we cannot. When we go to meetings and hear fellow members struggling with temptations to return to old behaviors, we need to detach. When family members or friends are engaged in an addiction, we need to sit loosely in the saddle by caring, but not protecting them from the results of their behavior. Sometimes close friends will be "off base" in the way they talk to us. We practice detachment by not being reactive to the person but being responsive to the inner message of what kind of men we wish to be. We can't control another person's behavior toward us. Our inner security will never come from how someone else behaves. The most helpful thing we can do for someone is to listen and care; then we need to be ready to let go of the outcome. I will accept the limits of my control over others. I will care and let go. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I long to speak out the intense inspiration that comes to me from lives of strong women. --Ruth Benedict Each day that we thoughtfully make choices about our behavior and our attitudes, we offer ourselves as examples to others--examples of strength. As women on recovery paths, we find encouragement from one another's successes. No one of us met our experiences very successfully before discovering this program. In most cases we lacked the structure that comes with the Steps. Direction was missing from our lives. Too often we passively bounced from man to man, job to job, drunk to drunk. When working the Steps, we are never in doubt about the manner for 'proceeding in any situation. The Steps provide the parameters that secure our growth. They help us to see where we've been and push us toward the goals, which crowd our dreams. We have changed. We will continue to grow. The past need haunt us no more. The future can be faced with confidence. Whatever strength is needed to fulfill our destinies will find us. And our forward steps will make the way easier for the women who follow. What a blessing these Steps are! They answer my every question. They fulfill my every need. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Revenge No matter how long we've been recovering, no matter how solid our spiritual ground, we may still feel an overwhelming desire at times to punish, or get even, with another person. We want revenge. We want to see the other person hurt the way he or she has hurt us. We want to see life deal that person just rewards. In fact, we would like to help life out. Those are normal feelings, but we do not have to act on them. These feelings are part of our anger but it's not our job to deal justice. We can allow ourselves to feel the anger. It is helpful to go one step deeper and let ourselves feel the other feelings - the hurt, the pain, the anguish. But our goal is to release the feelings, and be finished with them. We can hold the other person accountable. We can hold the other person responsible. But it is not our responsibility to be judge and jury. Actively seeking revenge will not help us. It will block us and hold us back. Walk away. Stop playing the game. Unhook. Learn your lesson. Thank the other person for having taught you something valuable. And be finished with it. Put it behind, with the lesson intact. Acceptance helps. So does forgiveness - not the kind that invites that person to use us again, but a forgiveness that releases the other person and sets him or her free to walk a separate path, while releasing our anger and resentments. That sets us free to walk our own path. Today, I will be as angry as I need to be, with a goal of finishing my business with others. Once I have released my hurt and anger, I will strive for healthy forgiveness - forgiveness with boundaries. I understand that boundaries, coupled with forgiveness and compassion, will move me forward. Light is shining on my path today as I face in the direction of love and goodness. One step at a time is leading me exactly where I need to be. --Ruth Fishel ****************************** Journey To The Heart The Real Magic Is About to Begin At some point in the journey, we may become tired, weary, and confused. Homesick. All the mountains, the scenery, the food, the people, the experiences just don’t do it for us anymore. We want to go home. What am I doing here? we wonder. Nothing worthwhile is happening. Yet another part of us knows the truth and whispers, Yes, something is happening, something worthwhile. Feeling homesick is part of the journey. It can mean we’ve reached a turning point. “When we get to that place,” a friend said, “it means the journey has really begun.” Stay present for yourself and all your emotions. You’ve worked through so much. Don’t stop now. Getting through this place, this point, will turn your life around. You’ve learned and grown, you’ve worked so hard healing your heart and cleansing your soul. Your spiritual growth has been profound. But until now, all the work you’ve done has been to prepare you for where you’re going. You’ve seen only a little of what life has to offer. You’re about to walk through a door. Now that your heart is open, you’ll see, touch, and know even more of life’s wonders. It’s the reward for where you’ve been. Keep feeling your feelings and trusting your guidance. Let the magic begin. ****************************** more language of letting go Let your creative self flow To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. --Joseph Chilton Pearce Creativity isn't just something we do. Being creative doesn't mean just drawing pictures, writing books, or sculpting statues out of clay. There's not a limited pot of creativity available only to the artists. Creativity is a vital living force in the universe that is available to each of us, to assist us in living our lives. All we need to do to align ourselves with that force is let go of our fears. Need a new idea on how to fix that room, that thesis, that relationshio? Need an idea about how to fix your life? Let yourself be creative. Encourage your ideas to flow. Listen to your intuition, to your spirit. Listen to that small idea you have, the one you have so much passion for. Let go of your rational thought process just for a moment. Let creativity help you live your life. Ask the Creator for help. God, show me how creative I am and can be. Give me the courage to be willing to make mistakes as I create my path with heart. ***** Making Life Yours Perception There is no secret recipe for happiness and contentment. The individuals who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, love, success, and prosperity. Such people have, however, been blessed with the ability to take the circumstances they’ve been handed and make them into something great. Our individual realities are colored by perception—delight and despair come from within rather than without. Situations we regard as fortuitous please us while situations we judge inauspicious cause us no end of grief. Yet if we can look at all we have accomplished without dwelling on our perceived misfortune and make each new circumstance our own, the world as a whole becomes a brighter place. A simple shift in attitude can help us recognize and unearth the hidden potential for personal and outer world fulfillment in every event, every relationship, every duty, and every setback. The universe is often an unpredictable and chaotic place, and the human tendency is to focus on the negative and assume the positive will care for itself. But life can be no more or no less than what you make of it. If you are working in a job you dislike, you can concentrate on the positive aspects of the position and approach your work with gusto. What can you do with this job that can turn it around so you do love it. When faced with the prospect of undertaking a task you fear, you can view it as an opportunity to discover what you are truly capable of doing. Similarly, unexpected events, when viewed as surprises, can add flavor to your existence. By choosing to love life no matter what crosses your path, you can create an atmosphere of jubilance that is wonderfully infectious. A change in perspective is all it takes to change your world, but you must be willing to adopt an optimistic, hopeful mind-set. To make a conscious decision to be happy is not enough. You must learn to observe life’s complexities through the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. You must furthermore divest yourself of preconceived notions of what is good and what is bad so that you can appreciate the rich insights concealed in each stage of your life’s journey. And you must strive to discover the dual joys of wanting what you have. As you gradually shift your perspective, your existence will be imbued with happiness and contentment that will remain with you forever. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We learn from others in The Program that the best way to deal with painful situations is to meet them head-on, to deal with them honestly and realistically, and to try to learn from them and use them as springboards for growth. Through The Program and our contact with a Higher Power, we can find the courage to use pain for triumphant growth. Will I believe that whatever pain I experience is a small price to pay for the joy of becoming the person I was always meant to be? Today I Pray May my Higher Power give me the courage I need to stop running away from painful situations. The chemical was my escape hatch, the trap door I counted on to swallow me when life became too monstrous or villainous to bear. Now that I have locked that door, may I face pain and learn from it. Today I Will Remember My compulsion: a trap-door and a trap. ****************************** One More Day Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find and not to yield. – Alfred, Lord Tennyson Some privacy is given up when we develop a chronic illness, for doctors and nurses need to know details of our medical histories. We can develop new strengths to offset this loss–pride that we are taking care of ourselves, and knowledge about our medical condition. Many of the private battles we fight concern our feelings about having a chronic health problem. We may have to yield on some points — privacy, dependence, time, and energy — but we can continue to make personal gains in spite of our health. Just because my health has changed does not mean I need to yield on points which matter to my well-being. ************************************************** ****************** Food For Thought Understanding The understanding, which we gain through the OA program, is a source of constant amazement and gratitude. First, we begin to understand our illness. Then, we grow in understanding of others and ourselves. Finally, our eyes are opened more and more to the spiritual aspects of our existence. Hearing someone else’s story gives us insight into our own behavior. We act as mirrors, reflecting each other’s problems and solutions. As we act, we are given greater understanding of why we do what we do and how we may function better. In order to gain more understanding, we must first act on the knowledge we have. Intellectual awareness alone will not enable us to control our disease. The empathy and understanding, which we receive from fellow OA members, give us the strength and hope to recover. We begin to see where our attitudes were wrong and how to go about correcting them. As we acknowledge the Power greater than ourselves and give our lives over to Him, we open a new channel of spiritual insight and understanding. May I understand. ***************************************** One Day At A Time REDISCOVERY “When you come right down to it, the secret of having it all is loving it all.” Dr. Joyce Brothers In dealing with compulsive eating issues, we tend to lose ourselves to the darkness of low self-esteem and self-criticism. We are our own worst enemies and we don't know how to nurture ourselves. We don't like who we have become. We feel like failures to ourselves and to all of those around us. In working through the program, we learn to surrender and to accept the things we cannot change. We gain wisdom and strength. As we learn to take care of ourselves, we begin to feel good. We become self-aware. We recognize our needs and work aggressively to make sure they are being fulfilled. We realize that we can choose how to react to the things around us. We accept our true selves, we voice our opinions, and we make changes. We realize that people do accept us the way we are and we don't have to hide anymore. For the first time, we are able to re-discover our true identity. One day at a time... I learn something new about myself. I accept myself for who I am as I surrender myself to my Higher Power. I prioritize my needs and all of the responsibilities in my life. I find the courage to change the things I can, and I accept the things I cannot. I look in the mirror and, with each passing day in recovery, I like who I see. ~ Lori ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt -- and one more failure. - Pg. 151 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote 'Let Go and Let God' is a simple phrase that helps us realize that we are not in charge of the world. Our need to control and manage all things in our life will soon be replaced as we allow Our Spiritual Source to operate. Let this phrase gently lead me to practice Step three each time I hear it in a meeting or see it written on the walls of our meetings. Paying it Forward Today I will show my gratitude for the many kindnesses I have received by paying it forward, by giving what I have so appreciated getting to another individual. I remember how good it felt to have some one reach out to me in generosity. I will do that for someone today. I will see an opportunity to give and I will give. Whether it's a smile, an encouraging word, an extra moment of my time or some kind of object. I will not hang on to it, I will give it. And when I do give it I will say a quiet thank you to the person who gave to me. I will see the gift going full circle. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote You will respect yourself to the degree that you do not violate your own value system. Self-respect is the most important respect I can earn. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book There are no musts in our program, but a lot of 'have-tos'. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Light is shining on my path today as I face in the direction of love and goodness. One step at a time is leading me exactly where I need to be. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I drank like eight pigs. - Mike.
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