Today's Thought - April

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April 16

All the Good I Can

Dear God, guide me to
Do all the good I can
By all means I can
In all ways I can
In all places I can
To all people I can
As long as I can.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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April 17

We can be redeemed only to the extent to which we see ourselves.
--Martin Buber

"One of the best ways I know to get in touch with myself," a woman explained, "is to write my thoughts and feelings. When I express my reactions to the happenings of life - in the privacy of a journal - I can more easily sort out and work through my positive and negative feelings. A journal is a great tool for self-knowledge. And I don't have to be a ‘great writer' to have it work. All I have to have is an earnest desire to know myself.

"You know, I've often surprised myself with my own insight and common-sense solutions to seemingly hopeless situations. And all I did was take time to clarify my thoughts by writing them down. It's wonderful to discover my deepest feelings and values. It's even greater to share my thoughts after they're clear in my own mind. Not only do I benefit from journal writing. But all my loved ones do too!"

TODAY - I will take time to get to know myself by putting my thoughts and feelings on paper. Clarifying my attitudes and reactions will help me share my concerns with others more calmly and serenely. I will also get a better perspective of myself and my experiences.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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April 18

SERVICE - A beautiful word fallen upon bad days.
--Claude McKay

Service is really a beautiful word. Service means respect. When we serve others we're part of the human race. We all need to help each other.

Service is a sure way to stay sober. Helping someone else stay sober helps us stay sober. And service frees us from self-will. It teaches us about how to care for ourselves and others. It teaches us that we're worthwhile. It teaches us that we make a difference. Service keeps us feeling good.

Am I quiet when the topic of service comes up at meetings? If so, how can I change this?

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, show me where I can be of help. Give me the courage to make a difference. Give me the courage to really serve others in need.

Action for the Day

I'll list five ways service has made or can make my life better.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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April 19

Asking Directions

When we do not know which way to turn, let us not be too proud to ask for directions. We have found our way to a program which can guide us out of the confusion and into an ordered, satisfying way of life. In our program, there are people who can give us the directions we need, if we will ask for help.

There is much that we can do on our own thoroughly studying the literature, establishing firm contact with our Higher Power. When we hit a snag, however, or are unsure of how to handle a difficult situation, we need to promptly seek the assistance our group provides. In order to receive help, we usually need to ask for it.

The illusion that we knew how to manage our lives and did not have to follow anyone else's directions was one of the causes of our difficulties and with life in general. Admitting that by ourselves we are powerless enables us to ask for the directions we need.

I ask for Your directions Lord.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

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April 20

Peeling Off Layers

As we work our program, we peel off layers of old, worn out thoughts and habits. The Program gives us a place to share old hurts and fears so that we are able to get rid of them. Our recovering friends accept us and give us the benefit of their experience. With their help, we are able to leave the old layers behind and move ahead.

We never stop learning and growing. When we are ready to accept it, our Higher Power reveals just as much truth to us as we can assimilate. Our Higher Power directs our progress through the Steps of this program as we are prepared to take them.

If we are sincere in our efforts, the right help will come when we need it. It may come through another member, a piece of literature, a new insight, or even a difficult experience. Peeling off and discarding worn out layers of ourselves is hard work and is often painful. But when we look back and see how we have grown, the satisfaction more than outweighs the pain.

Guide me as I peel away and leave behind the useless thoughts and habits I have accumulated.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

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April 21

Conscience is, in most men, an anticipation of the opinions of others.
-- Sir Henry Taylor

We are no longer in doubt about the right actions to take toward others. The program's Steps clarify what is appropriate behavior. Thus we know that doing any injury - physical or emotional - to other people harms us as well as them.

One of the many rewards of recovery is being free to live without guilt. Name-calling, harmful gossip, intentional put-downs, hateful rejections no longer provide the perverse pleasure of years gone by. We now recognize the subtle joy of sincere and loving efforts. We find this joy in calling a friend who is faced with a painful decision, picking up groceries for an elderly neighbor, extending our friendship to the new person at work. We no longer need the fear of what others will think to curb our spiteful actions.

Our conscience may still guide our actions at times, but as we grow in our recovery, we begin to intuitively know what keeps us on track and in sync with God.

I will follow my God-given intuition today.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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April 22

Personal Responsibility

There will be times when other people will disappoint us - either intentionally or because of indifference or incompetence. If we have been counting on them, their nonperformance can cause us real anger and frustration.

Our growth, however, should teach us that such failures are part of life. While never losing trust in others, we must accept them as fallible people. Their mistakes and lapses come from the human shortcomings all of us have.

Our best course is to live without expecting too much from others. They are not here to please or satisfy us. It's possible, too, that we've been unrealistic in some of our expectations and have set ourselves up for disappointments.

Our personal responsibility is to do our best even when others fall short of our expectations. At the same time, we can grow by becoming more reliable and dependable ourselves.

We cannot use another's failure as an excuse for negligence on our part.

Today I'll expect the best, but I will know that I also have the spiritual resources to deal with the worst that can happen.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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April 23

Perfectionism

Part of the ego reduction necessary to our recovery is the acceptance of the fact that we are not and never will be perfect. Perfectionism gets in the way of recovery because it imposes impossible, unrealistic goals which guarantee failure. If we do not think we have to be perfect, then we can accept our mistakes as learning experiences and be willing to try again.

Deepening acquaintance with our Higher Power is good insurance against perfectionism. We come to believe that God accepts and loves us as we are, and this gives us the courage and humility to accept ourselves.

We are not perfect, but we are growing. In spite of our weaknesses, we can serve others according to God's plan for our lives. Accepting our own limitations makes us more tolerant of the faults and weaknesses of those around us. Together, we progress.

I am thankful that I don't need to be perfect.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

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April 24

Passion

"This week, I went scuba diving," a man told me. "Hadn't done it for years. I forgot how much doing something I love, even for one afternoon, can change my entire outlook on life."

It's easy to tell ourselves we can't have what we want and can't do what we want. And sometimes, we can't. But once in a while, even for an afternoon, it is helpful to treat yourself.

How long has it been since you did something you loved? Are you willing to be open to what excites and inspires you? If you can't do what you love, can you find passion in what you are doing?

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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April 25

What is defeat?. . . Nothing but the first step to something better.
--Wendell Phillips

A man walks into a meeting. He says, "I surrender. I can't drink like other folks." We smile and welcome him. We know that feeling. All of us in the program must admit defeat. Our illness is more powerful than we are. We begin recovery when we surrender.

Admitting defeat is our first step into a beautiful world. Like all first steps, it's hard. But what a world we find ourselves in! A world where we count! A world where all are really equal!

This first step brings us into God's world of care. We get love. We give love. We stay sober because daily we admit defeat.

Prayer for the Day

I surrender. I can't drink and use other drugs. I'm different. Higher Power, help me surrender daily.

Action for the Day

Every so often, I need to admit defeat and talk about what it was like, what happened, and where I am now.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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April 26

A weed is but an unloved flower.
--Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Through actively loving one another we nurture the richness of everyone's fuller expression. With no more than a nod of attention we can elicit a smile or perhaps a commitment to attempt again a challenge that defeated us earlier. None of us shines as brightly, moves as swiftly, or succeeds as easily as when someone special is rooting in our corner.

We each need someone special, and let's not forget that we are someone special to another who is walking our path. The loneliness of a day is diminished when we feel the love of someone near or far. The dread of any task is lessened when we bask in the knowledge that we are special to someone. Like roses, we bloom while under the gaze of loving eyes.

Let's remember to nurture the rose within the friends and strangers who are walking our way today.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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April 27

God's Will

How do we know what God's will is, especially when we're running around with a severe case of self-will run riot? How can we make sure the choices we're making are God's will when our options seem confusing and we're not sure what to do? What about when we do something we think is God's will and it doesn't work out? Do we blame ourselves? Or do we count our mistakes as lessons we needed to learn along the way?

Sometimes when I recover from a particularly exhausting bout of self-will, I think that my mistakes were just a waste of my time. But then something happens, and I see that my worst mistakes are recyclable. What I learn from mistakes translates into something else that works out for the good.

We do have choices, and they have consequences. Most philosophers agree that free will is the greatest gift given to human beings. And we're responsible for what we choose or don't choose. But most of us, who have some practice with God's will, agree that there's a little extra something taking place.

Getting a publishing contract to write my book Codependent No More was a passion and a dream I'd had for years. But when I went down into my basement to write it, I hit the wall. I didn't know what to say.

It finally turned into one of those surrender deals. What am I thinking of? I said to myself. If it's God's will, the book will get done. And if its not part of God's plan for my life, then it doesn't matter whether it gets done or not. There's something else I'm meant to do. I could see how futile and ridiculous it was to worry about whether anything would - or wouldn't work out.

No matter what happened or didn't, God's will was more than enough.

With all my ups and downs, I still believe with all my heart that God's will is the best thing around.

There's a peace, a harmony, a rhythm to God's will. It's a solid undercurrent, a path that takes us through, over, or around whatever we face, including the Unknown. We don't always know when we've gotten out of or away from it, but we can sure feel it when we get back on track.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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April 28

Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.
--Rainer Maria Rilke

Mature love is a powerful and wonderful thing that has to be learned in adulthood. Children are certainly capable of loving and receiving love, but they are not yet fully formed as individuals. Adult intimacy is like a bridge spanning the space between two people. When our intimate partner confides in us and becomes vulnerable, our task is to make that moment safe. And when we become vulnerable, we have a right to the same safety - which means no disrespect and no demeaning or abusive behavior. When someone puts trust in us, it is our duty to honor it.

Some of us grew up in families where love was paired with abuse and disrespect. The very people who loved us sometimes deliberately hurt us. As adults we may find ourselves being more decent and polite to strangers than to our loved ones. This becomes our adult challenge: to act respectfully to our loved ones and protect and honor the trust they have placed in us.

Today I will be most respectful of my intimate partner, who is the most vulnerable to me.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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April 29

I wish I hadn't lost track of the guys I was stationed with. I kick myself for that.
--Tom Harding

We all have regrets, don't we? Some of us left jobs or spouses or neighborhoods only to wish we hadn't. Perhaps we closed the door on our family of origin and then felt grief when parents or siblings died. More commonly we regret the instances when our mean spirited behavior or attitude hurt someone else. We weren't always honest and forthright; we didn't always try to help a friend or co-worker who needed our advice. We simply didn't put our best self forward when the opportunities for doing so presented themselves.

Dwelling on the "shoulds" of past years is fruitless. We did the best we knew how to do at the time. The past is gone. Let's quit digging up the bones of old regrettable experiences. All they do is cloud our minds when we're trying to respond to today's opportunities.

I won't have anything to regret tomorrow if I respond to today with my best self.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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April 30

The best outcome is just and equitable.

Principle over Personality - Looking ahead to this day, I may face a possible conflict with another person over a certain issue. How should I respond to this?

If I'm to follow my principles, I should hold to the idea of seeking the best outcome for everybody concerned. It may be very harmful to look at these conflicts as a case of winning or losing. If I seem to win when I'm wrong, I will lose in the long run. If I seem to lose even when I'm right, I can know that there's a just resolution of everything in time. I will always win, however, if I keep my thinking straight and take care to avoid resentment and bitterness.

It's not surprising that the world is beset by conflicts. Millions of people have conditioned themselves to selfish ways of thinking and behaving that are bound to cause such conflicts. Much harm is done by people who are absolutely sure they are right at all times.

As human beings, we cannot expect to be excluded from these conflicts simply because we have a Twelve Step program. We do, however, have a means of dealing with such conflicts effectively when we respond according to principle. This makes us privileged people, in a way, but it is good to know that any person can have the same privileges by following the right principles.

Unpleasant as any conflict may seem, it does give me an opportunity to learn and to grow. I will seek to benefit from any such conflict today.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.