Today's Thought - December

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December 1

Thou art everywhere, but I worship you here;
Thou art without form, butI worship you in these forms;
Thou needest no praise, yet I offer you these
prayers and salutations.
--Hindu prayer

The history of the Twelve Steps tells us that in the first small A.A. group there was controversy about the word God. For some of the men God was known in traditional religious ways; other members were agnostic. This first group followed their group conscience. The resolution they achieved has inspired many new Twelve Step members ever since. They were guided through their disagreement to a new expression of their spiritual relationship. They began to speak of a "Power greater than ourselves" and of "God, as we understood Him."

Today we turn to God, as we understand God, because our definitions are restricted by human limitations. We know from our own experiences and from the stories of thousands of men and women who have preceded us, that this spiritual program is very practical and simple. It works. It restores our lives.

To a Power greater than myself, I am filled with gratitude.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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December 2

Letting go to save our lives

I crouched in the doorway of the airplane next to my skydiving coach. I held on to the doorway with my right hand for balance. With my left hand, I firmly grasped my coach's gripper, a padded piece of cloth on his jumpsuit.

It was up to me to give the count. "Ready, set. . ." I heard a snicker. "Get out of the plane," someone hollered. "Go!" I released my grip on the door, closed my eyes, and dived headfirst into the air with my left hand firmly attached to my jump master's gripper. I was falling stable and holding on with both hands. He nodded, giving me my cue to let go.

I shook my head no. He looked confused, then nodded again. I shook my head again, clinging more tightly.

It was almost time to pull. I released my grips. I just let go. It was time to save my own life. My coach backed away.

I signaled and then pulled my ripcord. My parachute made that sweet whooshing sound, the one I had come to identify as the sound it makes when it opens correctly and fills with air, slowing my fall into a float.

Wow! I thought. This is really fun!

Sometimes we're so scared, all we can think to do is hang on. Hanging on in this case was a silly illusion. We were both falling through the air. Holding on to a relationship that's not working, a negative self-image, a job that isn't working, moments and times that have passed, or emotions such as fear and hurt can be silly illusion, too.

To save our own lives, sometimes we have to let go first.

God, show me what I need to let go of, and when it's time to do that.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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December 3

Serenity = Reality = Inner peace and strength.
--Anonymous

Most of us chased an elusive thing called serenity for years. We thought our journeys outside reality brought us peace and serenity. When we returned to reality we found harshness and pain that caused us to run back to using. So it went, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. Run, escape, pain; run, escape, pain.

Then something happened. Our addiction wouldn't let us escape anymore. We no longer found what we were seeking. We tried using more heavily. Finally, all that was left of our lives was the pain.

The Fellowship shows us that reality is not a problem. Trying to escape reality is a problem. When we continue to turn our wills and lives over to a Higher Power, the serenity that results creates a reality of inner peace and strength.

I trust and believe that the changes I am going through in my recovery are necessary and good for me.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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December 4

In analysis, as I have known it, you are confronted by your qualities and cannot disown them, though you may try to.
--Florida Scott Maxwell

We aren't all in formal analysis, but the Twelve Step program does introduce us to the personal inventory. In this exercise of introspection, we come to know ourselves. We often don't like who we see, but until we have acknowledged it, we are unable to change the specifics of our behavior.

Blaming other people and the "unlucky" circumstances of our lives for all our troubles is deeply rooted in who we are. But coming to believe that accepting full responsibility for ourselves will empower us, even when we are guilty of wrongdoing, is a major step forward.

Looking squarely at ourselves and owning all of who we are may not make us proud, but it does make us honest and humble. We have to be both, first, if we ever hope to forge the qualities that will make us proud.

Today I will reveal qualities that I like very much. If some that I don't like surface, I won't deny them; I will correct them.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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December 5

More is not necessarily the answer.

We often think that if a little is good, more will be better, or that if we are not happy, it must be because we don't have enough of something.

Wanting and craving. The desire for what we don't have prevents us from appreciating and enjoying what we do have - right now, this moment. We often sell ourselves continual dissatisfaction by focusing on what we appear to lack.

So how much is enough? Can we learn to savor the blessings we have now, today? Do we really need more, or do we need to fully experience the gifts of the present?

I can always want more, but today I will concentrate on what I have right now.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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December 6

I was acting out my patterns when I denied that I had any patterns.
--Julie F.

Even when we are most out of control, there is always logic operating in our lives. B follows A, and D comes after C. The logical pattern doesn't cease to exist just because we're not aware of it.

This is how it works: We learned to meet our needs in ways that were modeled for us. Some of us learned to apologize, to play dumb, to manipulate, to rant and rave, to deny ourselves legitimate pleasure, or to lust after those things and people that would only cause us pain. That's A.

What we practice we become, and what we become stays with us. That's B and C. There are totally logical reasons for doing what we do and for thinking the way we think. That's D.

Logic isn't lacking. What the logic is based on is what causes us problems. What we learned to practice may very well not be working. But why we continue to practice makes all the sense in the world.

Today, I pray for the wisdom to recognize my patterns. I ask my Higher Power to deliver me from confusion.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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December 7

I can stand what I know. It's what I don't know that frightens me.
--Frances Newton

Fear of the unknown, often referred to as free-floating anxiety, catches up to us on occasion. But it needn't. The program offers us strength whenever we need it, and faith diminishes all fear. It is said that fear cannot exist where there is faith.

We have many days when we feel strong, in touch with our higher power, able to meet all situations. On those days, we are seldom conscious of how our faith is guiding us. But the hours of fear that we experience on other days make us aware of faith's absence. There is a simple solution: We can reach out to a friend. We can be attentive to our friend's needs and the connection to God will be made.

Shifting our focus, from self-centered fears to another person's needs, offers us a perspective on our own life. It also offers us a chance to let God work through us. Our own faith is strengthened each time we offer our services to God and to a friend in need. What may frighten us seems less important the closer we are to the people in our lives.

When I touch someone else, God touches me in return.



You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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December 8

In AA the only mistake you can make is not coming back.

******

Gratitude is the streetcar to a better attitude.

******

The catch-22 of recovery:
You've got to change your thinking
To change your drinking.
But to change your thinking,
You've got to change your drinking.

******

AA: Absolute Abstinence.

You are reading from the book:

My Mind Is Out to Get Me by Dr. Ron B.

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December 9

I left because there was no room for me. But you could tell me not to go. Say it to me. Tell me not to go.
--Stephen Sondheim
Sunday in the Park with George

To leave someone we love is to knowingly break a vital connection. Even if we chose to leave, we wonder why it often hurts so much. But the heart isn't logical; it feels the trauma of the loss and the responsibility of being the one to say good-bye.

Love is a process; it doesn't end because we say good-bye. No matter how painful or harmful a relationship was, there were good things about it, just as there were lovable things about the other person. The challenge is to accept with grace the choice we've made and to forgive whatever hurt we've received. We can refuse to indulge in self-righteousness or indignation. Those feelings are born out of the illusion of power that comes with being the one who leaves. Most of all, we can grieve the loss and then let go of the person we loved so that we can heal.

I have to break some relationships because it is healthier for my recovery. Still, I can hurt and grieve over the loss of those relationships.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

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December 10

It is more profitable to turn away thine eyes from such things as displease thee than to be a slave to contention.
--Thomas A. Kempis

Focusing our attention incessantly on matters that disturb us, keeps us disturbed. And our obsession with our problems leaves no room for their solutions. However, we are only powerless in the face of difficulties if we choose to be. We are always free to search for the good, which is lost in a tangled situation. We can be certain that our progress in life is equal to our capacity to let go of our problems and move ahead with the momentum of a positive attitude.

All too frequently, we fail to recognize opportunities for growth and success because we have chosen to be trapped by circumstances that are beyond our control. We may not realize this but we are never tied to problems. Solutions are always within our grasp. However, we must let go long enough to gain a responsible perspective on the situation.

Problems need not stifle my growth today.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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December 11

A.A. Thought for the Day

When people come back to A.A. after having a slip, the temptation is strong to say nothing about it. No other A.A. member should force them to declare themselves. It is entirely up to them. If they are well grounded in A.A., they will realize that it's up to them to speak up at the next meeting and tell about their slip. There is no possible evasion of this duty, if they are thoroughly honest and really desirous of living the A.A. way again. When they have done it, their old confidence returns. They are home again. Others should not mention their slip again. They are again a good member of A.A. Am I tolerant of other people's mistakes?

Meditation for the Day

It is in the union of a soul with God that strength, new life, and spiritual power come. Bread sustains the body but we cannot live by bread alone. To try to do the will of God is the meat and support of true living. We feed on that spiritual food. Soul starvation comes from failing to do so. The world talks about bodies that are undernourished. What of the souls that are undernourished? Strength and peace come from partaking of spiritual food.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not try to live by bread alone. I pray that my spirit may live by trying to do the will of God, as I understand it.

You are reading from the book:

Twenty-Four Hours a Day by Anonymous

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December 12

Inventory

The first time I took an inventory of myself, it was because I had to. I was in a treatment program. A judge had sentenced me there "for as long as it takes." The treatment staff wasn't going to let me out until I sat down and took a look at myself.

"A searching and fearless moral inventory" is what Step Four of Alcoholics Anonymous recommends. I was over- whelmed by the process. All I saw was this big blur of myself. I started writing about one small aspect of myself that I was able to recognize. Within minutes, I saw more. This inventory process took on a life of its own.

What was I aware of about myself that was a problem? What was bugging me most, the thing about myself I least wanted any other human being to know? What was the thing I least wanted to admit to myself? What did I fear and whom did I resent?

We were supposed to also inventory the good qualities about ourselves. I couldn't find any of those.

"You're persistent," the clergy person at treatment said. I hung onto that asset for years. I thought it was my only good quality.

It's an interesting phenomenon - how quick and easy it is to see qualities we like in other people. It's also a snap to see what we don't like in other people, qualities that we think they should change. Taking other people's inventories is a breeze. Taking our own is hard work.

The year was 1982. My husband (at the time) wanted to go to Las Vegas. I wanted him to stay home, but I didn't know how to express how I felt. About the third night he was gone, I felt that anxiety in my gut. I knew he was out of control, drinking again. I had a party planned for the next morning. I was throwing an open house for a neighbor graduating from college. Eighty people were due to show up. My husband was supposed to be home to help.

I didn't clean my house. I didn't prepare the food. I sat calling him in Vegas, dialing a number over and over again for eight straight hours. "What he's doing is crazy," I kept thinking. "What he's doing is wrong and nuts."

About ten o'clock that night, I saw the light. "Eighty people are coming to my home tomorrow, and here I sit, dialing a number that will not be answered? He might be out of control," I thought, "but what I'm doing is crazy."

Sometimes we need to take our own inventory to get out of an uncomfortable stuck place, to look at patterns and see what's going on. Other times, looking at our own behaviors gives us the freedom to finally have and live our lives. Taking our own inventory doesn't have to be a big gruesome job - although sometimes it is. Rather, it can be a way to stop pointing our finger at others and take responsibility for ourselves.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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December 13

Reflection for the Day

"It is the privilege of wisdom to listen," Oliver Wendell Holmes once wrote. If I try as hard as I can to cultivate the art of listening - uncritically and without making premature judgments - chances are great that I'll progress more rapidly in my recovery. If I try as hard as I can to listen to the feelings and thoughts expressed - rather than to the "speaker" - I may be blessed with an unexpectedly helpful idea. The essential quality of good listening is humility. Does a holier-than-thou attitude sometimes close my mind to the shared suggestions of others?

Today I Pray

May my Higher Power keep me from being "holier-than-thou" with anyone whose manner or language or opposite point of view or apparent lack of knowledge turns me off to what they are saying. May I be listening always for the voice of God, which can be heard through the speech of any one of us.

Today I Will Remember

Hear the speech, not the speaker.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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December 14

Only when we humbly ask for help are we ready to receive it.

On occasion, our problems seem overwhelming, and we don't know where to turn. Our job is stressful. Our health is failing. But many of us face no truly threatening situations, and we still have problems. Being alive, being human, means having experiences that trouble us.

It's hard to ask for help when we are in a troubling situation because we fear that means we are inadequate. After all, we are grown men and women who have taken care of others and ourselves for years. We don't have the wisdom to handle every situation, and yet we think we should. Seeking guidance from friends, sponsors, and our Higher Power gets easier with practice. Asking for help is a learned behavior. And practice we must!

But just as important as the seeking is the receiving. Are we actually open to the wisdom offered? Do we want it badly enough to truly listen to the guidance?

I will open my heart to God's wisdom today and find help for whatever troubles me.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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December 15

We are giving birth to ourselves. Let's be midwives to one another through this difficult, yet exhilarating, process.
--Dudley Martineau

Helping each other survive the traumas of our lives strengthens us. We can't be overwhelmed by any experience if we rely on each other for support as we walk through it. How lucky we are.

Having the courage to take advantage of opportunities transforms us. Where do we want to take our lives? Who do we want to become? The decisions are many and exciting. The counsel of our friends can guide us, but which doors we open is up to us.

Most of us experienced the pain of our lives alone. Revealing to someone else what our lives were like was far too scary. How could they possibly like us or accept us if they knew who we really were? Now those days are gone forever. Our decision to get help, and thus give help, is giving every one of us the new life we deserve.

My rebirth gives me opportunities to share my good fortune with others. I will be attentive to everyone today.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey