Today's Thought - January

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January 1

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.
--Rainer Maria Rilke

We carry problems and discrepancies within us, quandaries that are not easily answered - and we have bigger questions about life and the world. Why did I act as I did in my younger years? Can my life partnership be happy again? How should I handle a secret that I carry? What is this thing we call Higher Power and God?

We are on a journey and, in some ways, this journey is a quest for answers. The questions give energy and direction to our seeking. We cannot expect to get quick or easy answers. And some questions will always remain just that: questions. But we can learn to be patient with ourselves, tolerant of our incompleteness, and always curious about how it will all turn out.

Today I will practice patience with myself and embrace my unsolved questions as crucial elements in my quest.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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January 2

Learning new ways

Once we make a connection with our Higher Power, the ongoing problem is to hold on to it. Repeatedly we slip into our old ways of thinking and behaving. If not curtailed, eventually these will lead us back to that first fix, pill, or drink. We need only a word, thought, or familiar situation to get caught up again in an old habit.

We have to discover (and rediscover) that the old way of life has become impossible and the new one essential. We do this - and do it again - by praying, meditating, and working the Twelve Steps of recovery.

Ask yourself - Am I living the program?

Higher Power, help me avoid being smug and complacent in my new life. Remind me that old ways of living have become impossible for me.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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January 3

Moral Inventory

It is fortunate that we can think in secret, because our thoughts would quickly get us in trouble if others could read them. In our thoughts, we can choose what we wish to reveal to others before we speak or act.

In the long run, however, we do not really conceal our true thoughts and feelings. The nature of our thoughts shapes our character and becomes part of us. It even affects our appearance. It is not difficult at all to identify people who are fearful, angry, or jealous.

This process has its good side, because kind thoughts and feelings also affect our appearance, and in positive ways. Norman Vincent Peale wrote, "God runs a beauty parlor," meaning that plain people with gracious thoughts tend to become more attractive as years wear on.

As AA members, we need not fear our own thoughts and feelings if we are continuing to work the program. As the sober years stretch out, we will be improving our thoughts and feelings, and this will tell others what the program is doing for us and through us.

I'll remember today that I don't really keep my thoughts and feelings secret. I will think well of myself and all others. I know that there are no hidden thoughts in the long run.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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January 4

Is there room in your day for the unexpected?

Recovery works best for me when I'm open to what comes along each day. I used to set rigid schedules for myself, write long lists of things to do, and proceed through the day wearing the blinders of my preconceived scenario. Binges were my way of rebelling against my own rigidity and also a protest against whatever upset my carefully made plans.

We miss a lot when we try to impose our own structure on the events of the day. Perhaps we do it out of anxiety, and perhaps we do it to feel we're in control, but it doesn't work.

However hard we try to ignore or prevent the unexpected, the unexpected occurs. One of the things recovery teaches us is that we can trust ourselves and our Higher Power to deal with whatever comes along. Using our inner resources, we are free to respond spontaneously to the real life situations that we encounter.

Today, I will be open to the unexpected. Who knows? It might be fun!

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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January 5

How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.
--Spanish proverb

The beauty of the Third Step is that there's no real work for us to do. Making a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God requires no energy, no movement. We don't have to grit our teeth. It's only a decision and can be made in the blink of an eye. The action comes from God.

We don't need to do anything to earn the grace of God. In fact, there isn't any way we could earn it. This grace is ours when we let it come to us. Trusting God's love for us is all it takes.

I will rest knowing that my life is in God's hands.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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January 6

Oh, what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive.
--Sir Walter Scott

To deceive means to fool people into believing things that are not true. As addicts, we did this in many ways. We lied. We hid facts. We were sneaky. While we were trying to fool other people, we also fooled ourselves. Every lie was like a knot. Pretty soon we were a tangled mess. Our lives became unmanageable, tangled webs of life.

Our recovery program – an honesty program – tells us how we can untangle our lives. In the First Step, we admit we are all tangled up in our life of addiction. Second, we realize we can fix it. Third, we decide to take on the job of fixing it, no matter how much work it takes. In Steps Four and Five, we find the knots with the help of another person. In Steps Six to Ten, we untangle these knots.

Without the tangles, our life is free and ready to be used for whatever we decide. Steps Eleven and Twelve help us find good ways to use the gift of life.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thanks for giving me my life, strong as a good rope. Please help me keep it straight by being honest today with myself and others in everything I do.

Today's Action

Today I will work on straightening out one knot – just one.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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January 7

We don't want to live in the past, but we do need to learn to live comfortably with it.

"We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." This is a promise of the Twelve Step program.

One of the most useful tools we have for learning to live with our past is the Fourth Step inventory. Once we have examined our dark corners and shared with someone else the times when we did not live up to our expectations, we no longer fear reminders of those times, nor do we try to block them out.

It takes energy to try to hold shut the door to the past. Coming to terms with mistakes we have made, making amends, forgiving ourselves, and forgiving others releases this energy so we can use it for living more fully now, in the present. Allowing the door to the past to swing open in its own time gives us access to the good memories that we were also repressing.

Is there something I need to do today so that I can live more comfortably with the past?

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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January 8

Suffering is a journey which has an end.
--Matthew Fox

Pain is part of life. To live a spiritual life, we need a way to understand the suffering we sometimes endure. Looking back at other difficult times can give us a better perspective of the pain we feel today. All of us can recall a loss or a sudden difficult change that we never would have chosen for ourselves. Perhaps it brought us face to face with insecurities or doubts about our survival. Now, after the suffering has ended, we see how much we grew. We changed; we were strengthened and, perhaps, were liberated by what happened to us.

Thoughts about today's suffering may not be clear as to what good it holds for us. But we are on a journey, and it can only happen one step at a time. We know that journeys teach us great lessons and they do have endings. Our pain today affirms that we are vital and alive people. We know others suffer as we do, and we can turn to each other to give and receive comfort while we are on the journey.

My pain will teach me something I need to know, and it will have an end. I will pay attention to its lessons.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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January 9

Today I will review the goals I've set for myself.

Have I met some of them? Do some of them seem out of reach? If so, I will consider how I can simplify them by breaking them down into smaller goals.

If one of my goals is to live in a nicer house, I'll look at ways I can begin to work toward that goal. Do I already know what kind of house I want? Where is it? What does it look like? How much will it cost? Perhaps I can change my spending habits, save more money, or begin to establish my credit. I might simply picture my new house in my mind or cut out a picture and tape it on my mirror.

If one of my goals is to have a specific career, I will get a catalog from a college and find out what classes might prepare me for that career. Perhaps I could go to a career training school, work toward a promotion at my current job, or get my GED, I can ask for the help I need to accomplish this.

Today I will choose one goal that seems hard to reach and make a list of the steps necessary to achieve it. When I work toward my goals one step at a time, I can feel successful with each day.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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January 10

Love is a positive feeling and if one cultivates this feeling in their life, they will surely free themselves from any unbalanced condition that surrounds them.
--Syd Banks

Anger, whether unfocused or triggered by a troubling experience or a hostile person, discolors our perspective through an afternoon or a full day, perhaps even a week. Our understanding of events is always directly related to the attitude we've chosen to harbor. No situation or person, however difficult, has the power to steal away our happiness without our passive consent.

So willingly we humans adopt negative attitudes. With grandiose egos, we resent rain pouring on our picnic plans or a friend's illness canceling an engagement. Our choices for actions, feelings, or attitudes are far greater than those we habitually turn to. And it's likely we know love least of all. But just as anger breeds more anger, love cultivates more love, and each life that's touched by love profits from it.

When we make a decision to practice love unconditionally - loving ourselves, our neighbors and co-workers, even the snarling strangers sharing our traffic jam, we'll quickly experience the miracle of love in our own lives.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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January 11

I can still remember my mother clutching her heart, threatening to have a heart attack and die, and blaming it on me.
--Anonymous

For some of us, the idea that we were responsible for other people's feelings had its roots in childhood and was established by members of our nuclear family. We may have been told that we made our mother or father miserable, leading directly to the idea that we were also responsible for making them happy. The idea that we are responsible for our parents' happiness or misery can instill exaggerated feelings of power and guilt in us.

We do not have this kind of power over our parents - over their feelings, or over the course of their lives. We do not have to allow them to have this kind of power over us.

Our parents did the best they could. But we still do not have to accept one belief from them that is not a healthy belief. They may be our parents, but they are not always right. We do not have to allow their destructive beliefs to control our feelings, our behaviors, our life, or us.

Today, I will begin the process of setting myself free from any self-defeating beliefs my parents passed on to me. I will strive for appropriate ideas and boundaries concerning how much power and how much responsibility I can actually have in my relationship with my parents.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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January 12

Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them.
--Norman Vincent Peale

What does it mean to like other people? It means giving respect and attention to their opinions and perspectives on life. It means respecting their feelings, attitudes, and values without passing judgment or trying to control them. Clearly and simply, liking others means letting them be who they are and celebrating their individuality.

Openly expressing fondness for a friend is affirming for both people. Our expressions are gifts that will multiply for us when we've been honest and unselfish, free from ulterior motives.

We all want to be liked. And we've heard many times that to have a friend, one must be a friend. It's a formula that takes only a simple decision each time we share with another.

My actions will determine whether I'm liked today.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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January 13

The adventure of connection is to speak out. . .

The feeling of connection we yearn for with our partner comes when we speak what is on our mind; we have to stop guessing what each other feels and stop guarding against all offenses. A relationship with vitality is not so guarded that we constantly have to avoid rubbing each other the wrong way. We expect offenses and misunderstandings occasionally.

The greatest offense we can commit in an intimate relationship is dishonesty. Perhaps when we speak to our partner we will not express what we really mean on our first try. Or we will not realize how our partner feels about what we say until he or she tells us. In vibrant and living relationships people agree that they will keep talking when someone feels hurt, misunderstands, or disagrees. The adventure of connection is to speak our thoughts and feelings in their complete form, and then continue to talk until they become clear and understood.

Tell your mate something you have been guarding in your mind.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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January 14

I believe there has been a grand plan for my life; so much has happened that I hadn't counted on.
--Louise Jerome

What Louise believes might offer great comfort, particularly to a mind that is fraught with fear and uncertainty. But it's not all that important whether or not we believe that God has planned every detail of our lives. In fact, if we have had more than our share of turmoil, we might feel that God has been punishing us. Just coming to believe that we haven't walked through any experience alone is where the comfort lies. This may not be an idea we were taught as youngsters. We may not be convinced of it now. But deciding to suspend our disbelief, for a time, in order to discover the peace within this idea is worth it.

Recalling our past, any portion of it, will no doubt bring to mind outcomes to situations that took us by surprise. We so often thought we knew what was best for us and others. What folly! What relief, too. Trying to play god in others' lives is a heavy burden. We may still be caught in this maze, but getting free of it is possible. It may mean we have to change our perspective on the way life really works, the role God plays in our lives, but we can open our minds to new ideas. We're older, for sure - but minds can change at any age. Let's settle for an idea that eases our journey.

Today can be as restful as I make it. What comes to me is right for me.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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January 15

I am living out my life in accordance with my faith.
--Ruth Casey

Does faith in God guide your actions as it does Ruth's? It's certain our actions are guided by some set of beliefs. If our memories of past situations are troublesome, maybe it's because we allowed our behavior to be controlled by certain beliefs that did us harm. How might we define our beliefs for a friend today? Are we at peace with them?

Belief systems don't simply occur in our lives mysteriously. We consciously choose that which we adhere to, whether we realize this or not. Sometimes our families foisted their beliefs on us, even when they weren't comfortable to us. Until we were old enough to decide what fit us better, we may have had little recourse. Later, we may have adopted beliefs that matched those of our peers - even though these beliefs contradicted our personal ethics.

Acknowledging the existence of an underlying set of values gives us both security and relief. It means we don't have to spend many valuable hours worrying about the right thing to do in every situation. The actions that fit our belief systems will be obvious. Let's be willing to monitor how our beliefs impact the lives of those around us. It's never too late to consider changing them.

Today's experiences will reflect what I choose to believe. Does that promise me peace?

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey