Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2025

[bluidkiti]

January 6

Quote of the Week

"My mind is like a bad neighborhood—I don’t go in it alone."

One of the dangers of being alone for me is that I start thinking. Now, for a normal person, that may be okay, but for an alcoholic like me, that almost always means trouble. Colored by the disease of alcoholism, my mind seeks problems and reasons why nothing will work out. Even my so-called good ideas soon get me into trouble.

If I dwell in the bad neighborhood of my mind, I can also get depressed. I once heard that alcoholism wants me dead but will settle for drunk. If I get lost down its streets, soon I’m cut off from life and the light of my Higher Power, and I start believing alcoholism’s dark thoughts. Depressed and alone, my disease has seemingly won—until I reach out.

Today, I’ve learned to share my thoughts with others and to let them into my thought process. I’m no longer comfortable going into the neighborhood of my mind alone and find over and over that things always work out best when I have company. Today, when I’m feeling anxious or depressed, I ask myself if I’m in the dark neighborhood of my mind alone. And if so, I call you.

[bluidkiti]

January 13

Quote of the Week

"When I’m alone and by myself, I’m outnumbered."

I remember the first time I heard about the committee. Someone shared that when she went to sleep, the committee in her head got together and started going over all the things that were wrong and why her life was never going to work out. They gathered evidence, put a solid case together, and then reached their decision. When she woke up in the morning, they handed her their verdict: guilty and sentenced to a miserable life!

Boy, could I relate. I have my own committee of voices that constantly tell me things aren’t going to work out, that my past mistakes are insurmountable, and that no matter how hard I try, I will never be happy. When I’m alone, the committee is especially active, and after a few days of listening to their decrees, I’m overwhelmed and defeated.

In recovery, I’ve learned that being alone and listening to my own thinking almost always leads to trouble. I was taught early on that my thinking is distorted by the disease of alcoholism. My best hope for right action and happiness is to run my thoughts by my sponsor and others in the program. Once I let others in, the committee disappears, and I am restored to sanity. Today, I recognize the danger of being alone and outnumbered.

[bluidkiti]

January 20

Quote of the Week

"We either hang together, or we hang alone."

As my drinking got worse, I became more and more of a loner. After a close call of getting pulled over while I had been drinking (I somehow managed not to get arrested), I decided to stop going out to clubs. It was just easier to stay home and drink and listen to music. I also stopped receiving invitations to parties, and at first, I didn’t notice, then I didn’t care. It had been a long time since I had been in a relationship, and since my family couldn’t keep up with the way I liked to drink, I stopped hanging out with them, too. At the end, it was just me, my booze, and my resentments.

When my best friend finally took me to a meeting, I hated it. First, there were a lot of people there and they all seemed so fake and much too happy. What was there to be happy about? I thought. You’re at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting! And then some people came up to me and gave me their phone numbers and told me to call them. That won’t be happening, I thought. Finally, after the meeting was over and I was sneaking out the back door, my friend told me we were going out to “fellowship” at a restaurant. That was the last straw! I told him, “Some other time,” and made my escape.

I stayed “out” another year, and when I finally crawled into the rooms, I was ready. Early on, I saw someone celebrate a six-year anniversary, and he said something I will never forget. He said, “Find someone you can tell the truth to; we don’t do this alone.” Thank God I took his advice. The moment I began to let the program in, the fellowship in, and a God of my own understanding into my life, I began to recover. By getting involved, I got out of me and got into “we.” And then I finally understood: We either hang together or we hang alone.

[bluidkiti]

January 27

Quote of the Week

"If you are sober today, you are tied for first place."

When I was new to the program, I used to compare the amount of sober time I had against others. When I had 60 days, I felt less than those who got chips for 120 days. When I got 120 days, I envied those who made it to a year. When I finally got a whole year of sobriety, I watched the next person on the stage take a cake for three years, and I felt like a newcomer again.

When I confided these feelings to my sponsor, he told me I was comparing my insides with someone else’s outsides again. He told me this was a twenty-four-hour-a-day program, and that if I was sober today, I had just as much time as anyone else. Besides, he said, it’s the quality of your sobriety, not the quantity of days. As I started watching people with several years drink again, I felt the gravity of his words.

Today, I have what some consider to be long-term sobriety. Some newcomers talk to me as if I have it all figured out, and they tell me they wish they had the recovery to stay sober like I do. I quickly tell them that if they have today, they have exactly the same sobriety I do. I remind them, and myself, that I am just as close to a drink as they are, and that my daily solution is the same as theirs. For those who are still comparing, I tell them if you are sober today, you are tied for first place.

[bluidkiti]

February 3

Quote of the Week

"I’ll never be happy as long as I keep comparing my insides with someone else’s outsides."

It is very easy for me to feel less than. I’m constantly comparing myself to other people and asking why I don’t have a better car, a bigger house, or more money. I’m convinced that most people are happier than I am, know something I don’t, or are having a better life. While I’ve always felt something was wrong with me, it wasn’t until I entered recovery that I found out what it was.

I remember having this discussion with my sponsor and him telling me that alcoholism is a disease of perception. He told me there are three beliefs most alcoholics have that will forever prevent them from being happy. First, he said that we believe that what we don’t have is almost certainly better than what we do have. Second, no matter how much we have of something, we’re sure that having more of it would be better. The third belief is that when we finally get what we want, then we’ll be happy.

Now, I don’t know how he read my mind, but that sure described me! When I asked him what I was supposed to do next, he told me that God could and would restore me to sanity if I was willing to work Step Two. I was. It’s taken awhile, but today I have an attitude of gratitude, I’m comfortable in my own skin, and I have a peace and serenity that no car or amount of money could ever give me. And best of all, I’m truly happy because I no longer feel the need to compare my insides with someone else’s outsides.

[bluidkiti]

February 10

Quote of the Week

"Recovery is the only place where you can walk into a room full of strangers and reminisce."

When I began going to meetings, I remember how uncomfortable it was being around so many people I didn’t know. As soon as they found out I was new to the program, many of them came up to me and gave me their phone numbers, asked me how I was doing, and wanted to know all kinds of things that I didn’t want to tell them. It was all overwhelming.

As I sat and listened to people share, I was pretty sure I didn’t belong because I hadn’t done half the stuff I was hearing. That’s when my sponsor told me I hadn’t done them yet. He asked me if I identified with the other half, and I admitted I did. He suggested I should look for the ways I was the same, rather than the ways I was different.

It’s amazing how that little piece of advice has changed my life. Now, no matter what part of the world I am in, I can always find a part of myself in the strangers I meet in the rooms of recovery. Even if I don’t know you personally, I know I can identify with many of your experiences and with the way you feel and think. This is what allows strangers like us to start reminiscing the first time we ever meet.

[bluidkiti]

February 17

Quote of the Week

"Just because you’re having a bad day doesn’t mean you’re having a bad life."

It’s amazing the way my mind used to work. When things were good, it told me they wouldn’t last. When things were bad, it told me they were going to get worse. When I was having a bad day, it told me every other day was going to be just as bad, and that no matter how hard I tried, my life would end in failure.

When I entered recovery, the first thing I learned was that alcoholism was a disease of perception. I was told that what was happening in my head didn’t always reflect what was happening in my life, and I was given tools to help me tell the difference. Gratitude lists helped me see the good instead of the imagined bad; running my thinking by others helped me see past my insanity, and working with others always helped me feel better no matter what was going on.

It took a long time to develop a new perspective with my thinking, but by being willing to change, and by working hard at it, I now know that much of what my mind tells me is a lie. To counter this today, when I wake up I turn my thoughts over to my Higher Power, and I let Him direct my thinking. If I’m having a bad day, I know I can start it over at any time, and I do that by saying to myself, “Thy will, not mine be done.” This always works. Today, I know that if I’m having a bad day, it doesn’t mean I’m having a bad life. It just means it’s time to turn it over.