Today's Thought - December

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December 1

Leave yourself alone.

~Jenny Janacek

We often pick on ourselves. We put ourselves down. But doing this isn't part of our recovery. In fact, it goes against our program. Our program is based on loving care. We have turned our lives over to a caring, loving Higher Power who will give us the answers.

We are told, "Easy does it." We back off. As recovering addicts, we learn not to judge. Instead, we learn to be kind to ourselves. Our job is not to figure out the world, but to add more love to it. Let's start with ourselves.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, stop me from judging. Help me know what You want me to do. Help me work Steps Two and Three.
Action for the Day

Today I'll leave myself alone. I will remember that picking on myself is another form of control.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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December 2

There is no method or discipline or system of any kind that can ever command the spirit to be present.

~Tom Sampon

A man in the process of growth and recovery asks the question, "How shall I develop a relationship with my Higher Power?" The first answer is usually, "You can decide to be open to the spiritual messages that come your way." Some experiences in life can be mastered and directed, as in performing a task or going on a trip. We can have other experiences only by being receptive. They come our way, as in the growing of a friendship or the unpredictable events on a trip.

To be receptive, we must not be so busy with what we can control that we fail to notice all the experiences that are there for us. Our senses need to be open to see what is around us and hear what is in the air. We must breathe in the beauty and pain of life. When there is a message in our experiences, let us read it and not demand it fit our narrow, logical minds.

Today, I pray that I will be open to receive the spirit on its own terms.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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December 3

Learning new ways

Once we make a connection with our Higher Power, the ongoing problem is to hold on to it. Repeatedly we slip into our old ways of thinking and behaving. If not curtailed, eventually these will lead us back to that first fix, pill, or drink. We need only a word, thought, or familiar situation to get caught up again in an old habit.

We have to discover (and rediscover) that the old way of life has become impossible and the new one essential. We do this - and do it again - by praying, meditating, and working the Twelve Steps of recovery.

Am I living the program?

Higher Power, help me avoid being smug and complacent in my new life. Remind me that old ways of living have become impossible for me.

The new ways of living that I will cultivate today are...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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December 4

A Helping Hand

The first time I got sober was December of 1984. The second time was in November of 1986. I got my orders in July of 1989, and I was scared as hell to move to Tennessee with my two young boys. They were three and five as we were moving across country.

My friend Alonso was like a father to me. He said, "As long as you cover my gas, lodging, and food, I will move you and the boys." He also wouldn't leave until I went to at least one meeting. He wanted me to have my feet somewhat planted firmly on the ground. I did as he suggested.

I'm grateful he was in my corner during this transition in my life.

When transitions in my life arise, major or minor, I will ensure I am spiritually planted with others in sobriety.

~Mary H., U.S. Navy, 1984–2004

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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December 5

Reflection for the Day

We must never be blinded by the futile philosophy that we are just the hapless victims of our inheritance, of our life experience, and of our surroundings - that these are the sole forces that make our decisions for us. This is not the road to freedom. We have to believe that we can really choose. As addictive persons, we lost our ability to choose whether we would pursue our addictions. Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery. Do I believe that in "becoming willing" I have made the best of all choices?
Today I Pray

May I shed the idea that I am the world's victim, an unfortunate creature caught in a web of circumstance, inferring that others ought to "make it up to me" because I have been given a bad deal on this earth. We are always given choices. May my Higher Power help me to choose wisely.
Today I Will Remember

My Higher Power is not a puppeteer.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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December 6

Live and let live is good advice.

The more comfortable we are with the knowledge that each of us has a unique journey to make, a specific purpose to fulfill, the easier it is to let other people live their own lives. When family members are in trouble with alcohol or other drugs, it's terribly difficult to let them have their own journey. Because we love them, we feel compelled to help them get clean and sober. In reality, all we can do is pray for their safety and well-being. Their recovery is up to them and their Higher Power.

For some of us it's a leap of faith to believe there really is a Divine plan of which we are all a part. And perhaps it's not even necessary to believe. But we'll find the hours of every day gentler if we accept that a Higher Power is watching over all of us.

Being able to let others live and learn their own lessons is one of our lessons. The more we master it, the more peaceful we’ll be.

I have enough to do just living my life today. I can let others do what they must.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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December 7

Anger stirs and wakes in her; it opens its mouth, and like a hot-mouthed puppy, laps up the dredges of her shame.

~Toni Morrison

We may have been taught that anger is wrong, that maturity means learning to control it. Anger is a natural and powerful feeling. We can choose not to feed anger, perpetuate it, or let it become rage, but we need not fear or suppress it.

Clean, healthy anger won't annihilate us or others. It can help us to sense our limits. It can teach us what we feel passionate about. It can give us a new vision of ourselves, not as victims but as people with a sense of justice and self-respect.

If our voices have been unheard, our boundaries violated, or our identities wrongly judged, anger can dissolve old, inhibiting shame. Through it we can experience our strength and clarity. We can permit others their anger, too, by acknowledging that we hear them. We can experience the cleansing that anger initiates. Anger can be a step toward healing.

Today, I don't have to fear or fix emotions. I acknowledge my feelings and those of others.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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December 8

Acting As If

The behavior we call "acting as if" can be a powerful recovery tool. Acting as if is a way to practice the positive. It's a positive form of pretending. It's a tool we use to get ourselves unstuck. It's a tool we make a conscious decision to use.

There are many areas where acting as if - combined with our other recovery principles - will set the stage for the reality we desire. We can act as if we love ourselves, until we actually do begin to care for ourselves. We can act as if we have a right to say no, until we believe we do.

We don't pretend we have enough money to cover a check. We don't pretend an alcoholic is not drinking. We use acting as if as part of our recovery, to set the stage for our new behaviors. We force ourselves through positive recovery behaviors, disregarding our doubts and fears, until our feelings have time to catch up with reality.

Acting as if is a positive way to overcome fears, doubts, and low self-esteem. We do not have to lie; we do not have to be dishonest with ourselves. We open up to the positive possibilities of the future, instead of limiting the future by today's feelings and circumstances.

God, show me the areas where acting as if could help set the stage for the reality I desire. Guide me as I use this powerful recovery tool to help create a better life and healthier relationships.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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December 9

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

~Reinhold Niebuhr

Some things I cannot change: my age, who my relatives are, my eye color, my height, my childhood experiences, my inborn talents, my nature, someone else's abuse of alcohol or other drugs, whether the sun will shine, my job history, what I will inherit, how my parents feel, yesterday's lost opportunities, how long I will live, who forgives me, how my parents treated me, how much I am loved, the past.

Some things I can change: the youthfulness of my spirit, who my friends are, my hair color, my weight, my adult experiences, my achievements, my character, my reaction to someone else's use of alcohol or other drugs, whether my eyes will shine, my job possibilities, what I will bequeath, how I feel, my ability to act on today's opportunities, how well I will live, whom I forgive, how I treat my own children, how much I love, the future.

I thank God for my growing ability to choose.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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December 10

It is in the shelter of each other that the people live.

~Irish Proverb

In the history of AA, we learn about the famous doctor Carl Jung who wrote that alcoholics are people who live outside "the protective wall of human community." It is true. When we were using, we were outsiders. We may have hung out with other outsiders, but we were not part of a loving group of people who cared for each other in healthy ways.

In recovery, all that changes. We enter loving groups as we join in Twelve Step fellowship, and we form healthy friendships and family relationships. We start to feel like part of something that protects us.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me give up my pride in being an outsider. Help me feel the comfort and happiness of being part of a healthy group of people.
Today's Action

I will make a list of the people I feel connected to in my sober life. I will call my sponsor and talk about how I feel about these new relationships.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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December 11
It is the creative potential itself in human beings that is the image of God.

~Mary Daly

Within each of us is a creative person. Getting comfortable with our creativity often means letting go of tight, rigid thinking so our spontaneous, artistic side can emerge.

Whether or not we think of ourselves as artistic, we are. To be artistic is to create, an instinct we all possess. Each day in recovery we find the courage to create ourselves anew. One way to encourage our creativity is to find an outlet for it. It might be singing or playing an instrument. It might be writing, gardening, or refinishing furniture. Most anything that lets us create something outside ourselves can be good.

Working with our body, spirit, mind, and feelings is truly a joyful experience with an amazing reward at the end: we find we have created something, and in it, we can see ourselves.

I am letting go of the rigid ways of thinking that prevent my creativity from emerging. My creativity is more important to me than rigid ways of thinking.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart