Today's Thought - November

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November 1

If you don’t take chances, you can’t do anything in life.

~Michael Spinks

Many of us have done things that, in looking back, seem insane or dangerous. We may have had friends or family members who got into serious trouble and frightened us with their risky behavior. Out of fear, we may have become too cautious about everything.

Our dilemma is that growth is a risk, too. If we avoid all risk, we become stagnant. Life thrives on possibilities and options. Of course, risk means the outcome is unsure. We may not get the result we desire. But not all risk taking is as self-destructive as it was in our past. Now we have our relationship with ourselves and our Higher Power. Now taking a chance may help us grow, even when we don’t get what we want.

Today, let me see possibilities, and guide my inner sense of when to take a chance for growth.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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November 2

Addressing Our Shadows

No matter how far you think you have fallen at times in your life, you are not an evil person, not even if you believe that some of the things you did in your past are unforgivable. When I first began addressing my dark times as part of my healing journey, I unearthed a list of troubling things that I had done during my active addiction, things that I wanted to stay buried. I didn't think I could ever deal with - or let go of - most of those things. But I have.

If you think there is value in it, you can visit your darkness and the dark times in your life, but you don't have to live there anymore. You can learn what you need to from those times by being in reflection on your own, in conversation with other people in recovery, or in therapy. Spiritual teacher Iyanla Vanzant says that it is our willingness to look at our darkness that empowers us to change. When you look at your darkness, or your shadows, do it with compassion, not judgment, and with self-love, not self-reproach.

We have all had dark periods in our past; we can shine light on them and release them.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

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November 3

Avoiding fights

The program encourages us to stop fighting against people and things. In fighting, our principles get blurred and it gets harder to think, so we have trouble doing what we know is right. In fighting, our center is anywhere but with our Higher Power.

To reduce conflict, it is more effective to show people your way rather than beat them into submission. Fighting is one approach; there are others. Our Higher Power will show us how to handle all situations.

Have I stopped fighting?

Higher Power, help me learn new approaches to conflict and to trust in your help with new situations.

The one person or one thing I will stop fighting today is...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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November 4

You Deserve to Treat Yourself Better

As a veteran, you’ve done what countless millions of other people cannot or will not do, and that is serve this country. And you deserve the best. You deserve to treat yourself better. You deserve to allow people to treat you better.

To get that, you need to give 110 percent every day. I don't want to have to use a phrase from the Army, but you do need to "be the best you can be."

I would encourage you most desperately to take care of yourself. Make the effort.

Just for today, I will put the effort in to take care of myself, because I matter.

~Ed C., U.S. Army, 1975–1979

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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Novemner 5

Reflection for the Day

Now that I am in the program, I am no longer bound by alcohol, drugs, or my compulsions. I am free, free at last from the morning-after tremors, the dry heaves, the three-day beard, the bloating. Free, free at last from working out the alibis and hoping they won't unravel; free from blackouts; free from watching the clock so that I can somehow get that desperately needed “first one.” Do I treasure my freedom from substance abuse and dependency?
Today I Pray

I am grateful that my Higher Power has helped me overcome my dependencies on substances. This is my first freedom, from which other freedoms will develop - freedom to appraise my behavior sanely and constructively, freedom to grow as a person, freedom to maintain relationships with others on a sound basis. I will never cease to thank my Higher Power for leading me away from the chains of addiction.
Today I Will Remember

Thank you, Higher Power, for my freedom.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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November 6

Our Higher Power is in charge.

It's such a relief to give up our obsession to control, once we learn how. As we do to establish any new routine, we have to practice. In this case, we practice turning people and circumstances over to God. Our first reaction will be the familiar one, always. For so long we thought we had to be in charge. It’s no wonder we felt crazy at times. We were trying to ensure other people did the right thing, based on our perspective. Usually God, or they, had something else in mind.

Letting God hold the reins gives us a lot of extra time. We can narrow our focus to what we need to do today. And we can use our extra time to pray for the wellbeing of other people. Our payoff is feeling sane, peaceful, and rested at the end of each day.

I will enjoy the sanity of letting God take care of other people today. I’ll just take care of myself.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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November 7

Embrace the journey.

~Saying heard in Twelve Step meetings

Our goals inspire us, and our plans help us take appropriate steps toward bringing our dreams and visions to fruition. But outcomes themselves are not the most important measure of our experience.

We cannot control outcomes. It is the process of our lives, the journey each of us takes, that is important. As we walk our paths today, we can experience our connection to the spirit within us, ask for help, encounter smooth or bumpy ground, appreciate the beauty we see. We can bring the devotion and energy of commitment to the day ahead of us. We have sufficient courage for this day. When we embrace the journey, each moment is an arrival in which we can feel joy.

Today, I relax and embrace the journey.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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November 8

I am still amazed, after years of recovering, at how easily I can begin to talk myself out of attending meetings. I am also still amazed at how good I feel when I go.

~Anonymous

We don't have to stay stuck in our misery and discomfort. An immediate option is available that will help us feel better: go to a meeting, a Twelve Step support group.

Why resist what can help us feel better? Why sit in our obsession or depression when attending a meeting - even if that means an extra meeting - would help us feel better?

Too busy? There are 168 hours in each week. Taking 1 or 2 hours a week for a meeting can maximize the potential of the remaining 166 hours. If we get into our "codependent stuff," we can easily spend a majority of our waking hours obsessing, sitting and doing nothing, lying in bed and feeling depressed, or chasing after other people's needs. Not taking those 2 hours for a meeting can cause us to waste the remaining hours.

Too tired? There is nothing as invigorating as getting back on track. Going to a meeting can accomplish that.

Today, I will remember that going to meetings helps.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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November 9

I find it awfully hard to give myself a break. I don't know where that attitude comes from.

~Walker I.

"I can't. I shouldn't. It's my fault." These self-abasing and self-defeating thoughts are expressions of shame. Because repeated thoughts turn into beliefs and long held beliefs turn into actions, thoughts rooted in shame can lead to tragedy.

People who live in shame come to believe that it is not okay to make a mistake. They imagine they should know what to do without having to learn it. They think their wrong judgments mean they themselves are wrong. But it is human to make mistakes. If we acknowledge we are human, we are defining ourselves as people who always have something to learn. (Thomas Edison failed to perfect the light bulb until his ten-thousandth try.) We are saying we have to keep going if our plans don't work out right away. (Walt Disney went bankrupt before he met with success.)

"Thou shalt not be human" is the command of shame. What rubbish! How can we be anything else? Why would we want to be?

I pray I will live comfortably with human limitations. I will try to accept from myself what I accept from others.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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November 10
All are related.

~Lakota Saying

We are all related. What a powerful idea. Every living thing and every part of nature was made by the same Higher Power that made us. We are all part of the same family. Trees and rivers, beetles and puppies, clouds and stars, people of all colors and shapes - these are our relatives.

We are part of life, of nature. There is a place for us. We already belong. The more we accept that fact, the happier we will be.

Who are these relatives? What is this life we are given? How do we belong? These are the gentle questions we will answer as we work our program. The Twelve Steps teach us how to walk in balance with all living things. The fellowship gives us the support of relatives who understand us. All the love and help we need is there for us. We only need accept it.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank you for making me part of your universe. Thank you for the life that flows through me and through all your creation.
Today's Action

I will take a minute today to get to know a relative. This could mean studying a tree or a pet or a person. I will ask myself, "What are three things we have in common?"

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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November 11
Conscience is God's presence in man.

~Emanuel Swedenborg

As we mature, our conscience grows, and vice versa. We follow a principle that directs us to promptly admit when we are wrong. That practical piece of guidance is the most effective way to become bigger, stronger men. To follow it, we must abandon our ego's desire to always be right. We must abandon the thought that we are belittled by such an admission.

In this process of becoming better men, we open ourselves and allow God to enter. We let God speak to us and through us by humbly accepting that we don't always have to be right. The higher principles of honesty and responsibility are our guides, and we don't expect perfection from ourselves. In that way, we become more honest with ourselves and with our friends.

Today, I will be open to the truth that my Higher Power speaks within me.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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November 12

AA Thought for the Day

We got a kick out of the first few drinks, before we got stupefied by alcohol. For a while, the world seemed to look brighter. But how about the letdown, the terrible depression that comes the morning after? In AA, we get a real kick: not a false feeling of exhilaration, but a real feeling of satisfaction with ourselves, self-respect, and a feeling of friendliness toward the world. We got a sort of pleasure from drinking. For a while we thought we were happy. But it's only an illusion. The hangover the next day is the opposite of pleasure. In AA, am I getting real pleasure and serenity and peace?
Meditation for the Day

I will practice love, because lack of love will block the way. I will try to see good in all people - those I like and also those who fret me and go against the grain. They are all children of God. I will try to give love; otherwise, how can I dwell in God's spirit from which nothing unloving can come? I will try to get along with all people, because the more love I give away, the more I will have.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may do all I can to love others, in spite of their many faults. I pray that as I love, so will I be loved.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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November 13

A person's best ally is someone who takes care of herself.

~Susan Clarke

It was hard to learn how to walk if she couldn't fall down, but the girl was too little to be able to tell her mother. Her mother thought she was taking care of her when in fact she was keeping her from learning to take care of herself. Letting her fall would have shown trust in the child, trust that she could get up. It would have taught her that she wasn't so fragile that she couldn't recover if she hurt herself.

We are all like this mother once in a while, protecting one another from important lessons in life. This doesn't mean we have to let someone get seriously hurt, but that we allow each other the freedom to learn and grow in individual ways.

What will I be able to learn from my little stumbles today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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November 14

SERVICE - A beautiful word fallen upon bad days.

~Claude McKay

Service is really a beautiful word. Service means respect. When we serve others, we're part of the human race. We all need to help each other.

Service is a sure way to stay sober. Helping someone else stay sober helps us stay sober. And service frees us from self-will. It teaches us about how to care for ourselves and others. It teaches us that we're worthwhile. It teaches us that we make a difference. Service keeps us feeling good.

Am I quiet when the topic of service comes up at meetings? If so, how can I change this?
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, show me where I can be of help. Give me the courage to make a difference. Give me the courage to really serve others in need.
Action for the Day

I'll list five ways service has made or can make my life better.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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November 15

Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.

~Carlos Castaneda

Were we offended by someone today? Do we harbor resentment for remarks, oversights, or unpleasant mannerisms? Do we feel tense or uneasy about how someone else has treated us? We can probably make a good case to justify our reactions. Perhaps we are in the right and they are in the wrong.

Yet, even if we are justified, it doesn't matter. We may be puffing ourselves up and wasting energy. When we are oversensitive, we take a self-righteous position which leads us far from our path of spiritual awakening. Our strength is diminished.

How much better it is to let go of the rightness, let go of our grandiosity, and accept the imperfections in others. We need to accept our own imperfections too. When we do, we are better men, and our strength and energy can be focused on richer goals.

I will accept others' imperfections; I do not need to be right.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*