Today's Thought - July

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July 1

Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life.

~Melody Beattie

Do we think we can't be happy until others are happy? Then nobody is happy. Our unhappy friends won't take our advice. They say, "Why should I do what you say? You are not happy either." And we answer, "I'll be okay when you're happy." We make them responsible for our happiness. What a mess!

We can only make one person happy - ourselves. How? By living as our Higher Power leads us. By working the Steps. By being grateful for the good things in our lives. By loving ourselves and others, just as we are.

And maybe when we’re happy, our friends will learn from us. They can be happy too. But only our friends can make themselves happy.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, as I do my part in Your plan today, help me feel connected to You and to life.

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July 2

If I were to begin life again, I should want it as it was. I would only open my eyes a little more.

~Jules Renard

Spiritual and emotional growth is a process of raising our awareness. Reflecting on our growth as men, before this program and after, we see different levels of consciousness. Some of us might say we weren't at all conscious of what it meant to be a man by the time we entered the adult world.

Now we are forming an awareness of manhood. We see ourselves more as recovering, caring, strong, vulnerable men in relationships with others. We have an increased sense that our actions make a difference in our lives as sons, fathers, husbands, lovers, and friends. Our increased understanding of ourselves makes it possible to fulfill our potentials for growth. It is not idle fantasy to imagine beginning life again because, in a sense, we have. In recovery, it seems we have begun life again, only with our eyes a little more open.

Help me live this day with all of my awareness.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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July 3

Sharing our program

Sharing is truly valuable. It doesn't simply help the other guy; it helps us, too. By sharing how our program is working, we get the feedback we need (positive or negative) to see clearly. It helps us to see regularly how we are doing. We can spare ourselves unnecessary pain if we take our experiences to meetings for feedback. As we develop our lives, it helps to know what others are doing to develop theirs.

Am I sharing my problems and progress with others?

Higher Power, help me truly share my recovery so that I can help myself and others.

Today I will share my program with...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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July 4

I Will Use My Freedom Wisely

When I left the military and returned home, I had too much downtime. That is when I started drinking. At the time I believed drinking and partying was the best way to use my newfound freedom. But addiction is not freedom. Addiction controls us. We are powerless in its grasp.

Sobriety gives us the opportunity to find our own freedom. A truer version of freedom. Use this freedom to strengthen yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Use this freedom to serve your community. Use this time to connect with a purpose bigger than yourself.

You get to decide how to use your freedom.

Sobriety gives me the freedom I sought through my addiction. I am grateful for that freedom and will be mindful of how I use it every single day.

~Anonymous, U.S. Army, 2009–2016

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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July 5

Reflection for the Day

Long experience has proven that the program and the Twelve Steps will work for any person who approaches them with an open mind. We have to remember that we can't expect miracles overnight; after all, it took years to create the situation in which we find ourselves today. I'll try to be less hasty in drawing judgmental conclusions. I'll hang on to the expectation that the program can change my entire life as long as I give it a chance. Have I begun to realize that my ultimate contentment doesn't depend on having things work out my way?
Today I Pray

I pray for a more receptive attitude, for a little more patience, for a little less haste, and for more humility in my judgments. May I always understand that change will come - it will all happen - if I will listen for my Higher Power's will. Higher Power, grant me perseverance, for sometimes I must wait a while for the program's Steps to take effect.
Today I Will Remember

Patience.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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July 6

We find strength and hope when we share them.

When we first hear that we have to give it away, we are confused. What is it? And to whom do we give it? But listening to the men and women in Twelve Step programs clarifies many things for us. We teach each other the principles for easier living. We learn that by sharing our own experience of strength and hope, we make another’s journey easier. Even more importantly, we come to realize that what we share with others is oftentimes what we need a reminder of as well.

The program works and we all get better because of our willingness to listen to and share with others. Isolation no longer appeals to us. The joy we feel at not being alone with our troubles helps us give it away and receive it too.

I will look for an opportunity to share with a friend or even a stranger today. We will both get the help we need!

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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July 7

God wants nothing of you but the gift of a peaceful heart.

~Meister Eckhart

The ability to keep peace within us is indeed a gift. We can cultivate the art of keeping peace in our hearts despite problems or challenges we encounter, despite others' words or actions.

One path to peace is remembering the difference between things we can and can't control. When we take actions that are appropriate in a given circumstance and let go of trying to predict or control their outcome, we will have mastered a major challenge to maintaining a peaceful way of life. Another path to peace is not to blame people or events for our negative feelings and attitudes, but instead to be willing to look at what we ourselves may have contributed to creating our own discomfort.

We don't have to be saints to create peace in our hearts. At any time during the day, we can step back from conflict within us or around us and breathe slowly, rhythmically, and deeply. We will be surprised at the calm that soon reenters our thoughts and visions of the world. Our serenity will help others to find the reservoir of peace in their hearts.

Today, let peace on earth begin with my peaceful heart.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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July 8

Insisting on the Best

We deserve the best life and love have to offer, but we are each faced with the challenge of learning to identify what that means in our life. We must each come to grips with our own understanding of what we believe we deserve, what we want, and whether we are receiving it.

There is only one place to start, and that is right where we are, in our current circumstances. The place we begin is with us.

What hurts? What makes us angry? What are we whining and complaining about? Are we discounting how much a particular behavior is hurting us? Are we making excuses for the other person, telling ourselves we’re "too demanding"?

Are we reluctant, for a variety of reasons, especially fear, to tackle the issues in our relationships that may be hurting us? Do we know what's hurting us and do we know that we have a right to stop our pain, if we want to do that?

We can begin the journey from deprived to deserving. We can start it today. We can also be patient and gentle with ourselves, as we travel in important increments from believing we deserve second best, to knowing in our hearts that we deserve the best, and taking responsibility for that.

Today, I will pay attention to how I allow people to treat me, and how I feel about that. I will also watch how I treat others. I will not overreact by taking their issues too personally and too seriously; I will not underreact by denying that certain behaviors are inappropriate and not acceptable to me.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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July 9

The children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light.

~From Luke 16:8

When we think of our child within, many of us sense only the wounded child - the child who feels afraid, inadequate, needy, and shut out. It is true, of course, that we all have a child within. But that child is wise and strong, as well as wounded.

Beneath the fears and doubts, deeper than the guilt and shame, our inner child knows some truths that our adult selves aren't always sure of. That child, like all children, wants to imagine and play, to unconditionally love and be loved, to find out what's really important and to care about it. Even if the child was not allowed to act out those wants, the wants remain, stored away. Our child within still wants, craves, and reaches out for the eternal truths of successful living. We need to pay heed to our child's sense of wisdom and trust, as well as to give that child within us our adult capacity for sympathy and comfort.

I can allow myself a childlike wonder and curiosity. I will look at the world today with new eyes.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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July 10

Man loves company even if only that of a small burning candle.

~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Our illness kept us alone. As it got worse, we placed alcohol or drugs ahead of people more and more often. And we ended up more and more alone. Even people we care about refused to be around us because of the way we acted. There were places we were not welcome anymore. Many of us got to a place where we couldn’t even stand our own company.

Being part of the fellowship of recovery means we never have to be alone again. This can scare those of us who learned how to survive alone. We pretended we didn't need others. We now need to allow ourselves to embrace our new friends and the fellowship of recovery. Within the fellowship, we will find people to be with. We'll also find the answers on how to live productive, joyous lives. The light of each of our candles burning together lights our way.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, you have brought me into recovery for a purpose. I don't always know the purpose, but I know I'm to help and nurture the fellowship. I'm to help others feel not so alone.
Today's Action

Today I will think of ways I may still be keeping myself alone. I will talk with my sponsor or group about how I can move deeper into the fellowship.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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July 11

Human misery must somewhere have a stop: There is no wind that always blows a storm.

~Euripides

It is easy to think we will always be in the same boat, that our characters are fixed, our habits unalterable. "This is who I am. You can take me or leave me." When we say that, we often really mean "when you know who I really am, you will leave me." And that's the ultimate position of the addict.

But no one is predestined to be a certain person or to behave in a particular way. And no one stops growing and changing. We have to have faith in the immense possibilities of movement and growth.

Life itself is more than winds and storms. It can be calm, changeable, hot, dry, mellow, promising, gloomy, bright, and serene, and we can match its immense diversity of moods. For we are part of life, part of all this wondrous change and diversity, and if we are not afraid to let ourselves go, we can be as varied and as flexible as life.

I don't believe that I am fixed in my ways or stuck in my addiction. I am learning to be open to all the changes that life can offer.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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July 12

Frustration

Nothing is unthinkable, nothing impossible to the balanced person, provided it arises out of the needs of life and is dedicated to life’s further developments.

~Lewis Mumford

In recovery we walk one foot in front of the other. We live life "One day at a time." We "Live and let live." These slogans we have in the program help with the frustrations we experience in everyday living. The fact of the matter is, most of us have spent so many years forcing our will on each situation that it is difficult to stop.

It takes practice and patience to slow down and let life come to us, rather than rushing off to make things happen. Our Higher Power has a sense of time and timing that will be revealed to us slowly. Frustration will not move a clock forward, change a traffic light from red to green, or make us younger. Frustration will only block our serenity.

The Steps teach me that it is sometimes necessary to do absolutely nothing. I can hear better when I am quiet.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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July 13

God is in charge.

~Daily Word, November 10, 1987

A basic truth in our life, about which we need never be concerned, is that we are in the care of a loving God - always. And we can feel and unquestioningly know this presence if we choose to acknowledge it. When we take a moment to reflect on our past good fortunes - that we found this program, that our relationships with others are on the mend, that we harbor deep-seated fear far less often - we can use them to bolster our faith that our Higher Power is here, now, and will remain our constant, caring companion.

For some of us, faith in a greater Power comes easily. But many of us begin to have faith only through Acting As If. By quieting our mind, visualizing a loving presence, and breathing in the warmth and comfort, we can find the peace that is God. Through "practicing the presence," we’ll strengthen our faith and ensure our peacefulness.

I can feel the peace I desire today through my own efforts to remember God.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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July 14

I like to look at perfection as continual expansion. It's only when I stagnate and am afraid of change that I am imperfect.

~Carlotta Posz

Perfection is a coat of many colors. Some people think we are perfect just as we are, simply because we are children of God. Others think that perfection is an unattainable goal because we must release all shortcomings and strengthen all assets to attain it. From sponsors we learn that any effort to live more peace-filled lives heightens our sense of a more perfect existence.

Perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Luckily, we are surrounded by loving friends who can help us see our progress when we are blind to all but our failed attempts.

Our attempts to grow, learn, change, and love others more fully will satisfy our Higher Power completely. These acts, repeatedly made, will cultivate in us the only perfection that truly counts.

I will do the best I can today toward my loved ones and all others I meet. If I do that, God will view my actions as "perfect."

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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July 15

Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for.

~Earl Warren

We have avoided conflict and sometimes taken the easier way when we should have stood up for what we believed in. We have procrastinated on difficult matters to keep the peace. Sometimes our fear of offending someone led us into dishonesty. We knew that if we said what we thought, or if we let others know our true feelings, we would have to deal with their reactions.

Great men do things that don't please everyone all the time. When we have true definition as a man, our boundaries will give others a target if they are looking for one. Perhaps, at work or at home, we have something we feel needs to be said, but we know it will displease others. Even our Twelve Step meetings take inventory on what is going well and what is not. So we learn to stand up for our beliefs and our principles. If no one ever gives us hell, we are probably not doing our best.

Today, I will act on my true beliefs and express my honest feelings.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*