Today's Thought - November

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November 1

The great law of culture: let each become what he is capable of becoming.

~Thomas Carlyle

Each of us is unique, precious, human. We need to join in the movements of life and culture that encourage us to grow and change and live out the fullness of our potential.

By remaining immersed in our addiction, we are joining the dead in life, those who deny the possibility of growth and becoming. Addiction is a stunting illness that holds back the healthy forward movement of life.

In our recovery there are moments of hesitation and even of relapse. When this happens we do not lose faith in ourselves because we are constantly strengthened by working our program. We gain insight by following the Steps, and we find support and strength in our groups and our Higher Power. And so we continue to reconnect with our own rhythm and pattern of growth.

I am part of a living culture and capable of change and growth.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction*

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November 2

Remember When

We can be positive that our active addiction was negative.

~Anonymous

The memory of our First Step is a memory we want to keep always fresh in our minds. The First Step asks us to “remember when.”

We never leave our First Step. It is current history. It is now. We will hear in meetings someone tell a story of relapse. “After three months, I went out. After six months … After one year”

We never outgrow our First Step. In fact, we never have more than one day of abstinence. We all have one more relapse in us, but do we have one more recovery? We go to meetings first and foremost to remember who we are and what it used to be like. When we want to go to a meeting, we can walk; when we don’t, we should run.

I will always “remember when.” When I forget about my First Step, I am destined to repeat it again.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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November 3

There is but one ultimate Power. This Power is to each one what he is to it.

~Ernest Holmes

Most of us have struggled all of our life trying to control the uncontrollable, believing that the right combination of actions would guarantee the outcomes we desired. None of us has ever had ultimate power except over our own thoughts, attitudes, and behavior; yet until we entered this program, we didn’t understand or accept this reality. And, on occasion, we still fail to believe it.

We are learning that we can’t force open a closed door, nor can we make a loved one live up to our expectations. We can, however, learn to trust our Higher Power’s ultimate authority. In time we will see that our well-being is guaranteed when we let go of our need to control.

A moment’s reflection will offer us ample evidence that God will orchestrate our life. Many of the times we were in pain were the result of our ego’s unwillingness to trust God’s power.

Today will go smoothly if I remember that God is in charge, rather than me.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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November 4

Shut up and listen!

~Anne Arthur

Sometimes we need to do ourselves a favor and “shut up and listen.” Depending on our family, we may have heard the words “Shut up!” many times daily. To counter the verbal abuse, we might have learned to carry on an inner dialogue to drown out these words. That way of coping served us well. However, it became our habit to shut others out, regardless of their words, and now we need to break that habit. It serves us no more. In fact, it harms us.

We have learned that our Higher Power often tries to reach us through the words of a friend. If we have an inner dialogue going on, we will not hear the guidance we seek. We have heard many times in Twelve Step meetings the saying “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Being quiet is being ready.

I will be ready for my lesson today. I will listen intently to the words of my friends.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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November 5

Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit—and man is his own gardener.

~James Allen

Before we entered our program of healing and recovery, we didn’t recognize our thinking patterns as addictive and codependent. We simply thought our thoughts. Our attitudes seemed natural to us. Now we have learned from looking back that we had many self-serving and distorted ways of seeing life. Because of our need for control and our dependence on addictive ways, we had very nearsighted vision. Many of us indulged in a cynical and dark view of life. We used and controlled others to achieve our needs, and we were often ruled by fear.

Now we are learning that we can cultivate a healthier and happier state of mind. We need not be constantly vigilant about our safety and comfort. We have friends who are genuine and trustworthy. We can rest assured that our Higher Power will always be with us. We are created to be on this earth, and we have a right to take a place among the rest of humankind.

Today, I am grateful for a healthy state of mind.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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November 6

AA Thought for the Day

Alcoholics Anonymous has no quarrel with medicine, psychiatry, or religion. We have great respect for the methods of each. And we are glad for any success they may have had with alcoholics. We are desirous always of cooperating with them in every way. The more doctors, the more psychiatrists, the more religious leaders we can get to work with us, the better we like it. We have many who take a real interest in our program, and we would like many more. Am I ready to cooperate with those who take a sincere interest in AA?
Meditation for the Day

God is always ready to pour His blessings into our hearts in generous measure. But like the seed-sowing, the ground must be prepared before the seed is dropped in. It is our task to prepare the soil. It is God’s to drop the seed. This preparation of the soil means many days of right living—choosing the right and avoiding the wrong. As you go along, each day you are better prepared for God’s planting until you reach the time of harvest. Then you share the harvest with God—the harvest of a useful and more abundant life.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that my way of living may be properly prepared day by day. I pray that I may strive to make myself ready for the harvest which God has planted in my heart.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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November 7

The moment an individual can accept and forgive himself, even a little, is the moment in which he becomes to some degree lovable.

~Eugene Kennedy

If we owe a bill and pay it in full, do we return to pay that same bill over and over again? If we did, someone would surely question what was wrong with us. Yet, how often do we ask forgiveness for the same thing over and over again?

How wonderful to know that we do not have to condemn ourselves, even for not living up to a goal we have set for ourselves. Once we say we are sorry, we need to be willing to forgive ourselves. After all, how else do we learn and grow except by mistakes?

When we have forgiven ourselves, we become free to take risks again without fear of unforgivable failure, and who knows what new successes we might attain?

ls there something I can forgive myself for today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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November 8

Rebellion cannot exist without a strange form of love.

~Albert Camus

In recovery, we rebel against our disease because we have love for ourselves and for something greater that needs fighting for. Each day we fight for the freedom to stay close to our Higher Power, friends, and family.

It’s mainly a quiet battle. It’s fought daily. We fight and win by acting in a spiritual way. We fight and win every time we help a friend, go to a meeting, or read about how to improve our lives.

We move slowly but always forward. Rushing will only tire us out. Our battle will go on for life. We are quiet fighters, but we’re strong, for we do not fight alone. And we know what waits for us if we lose.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me stay free. When I want to give up, help me realize this is normal. Help me to keep fighting at these times.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll be a rebel. I will go to an extra meeting, or I’ll talk with my sponsor. I’ll find a way to help someone without the person knowing.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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November 9

Life is not a “brief candle.” It is a splendid torch that I want to make burn as brightly as possible before handing on to future generations.

~George Bernard Shaw

We are men who have sought intensity. Some have said the extremes of our past were a kind of search for a Higher Power, although we went to self-defeating ends. There is no need now for us to give up our intense love of life. Serenity need not be bland. In facing ourselves, confronting our pain, surrendering our arrogant individualism, we are released to live the life we deeply desire. What do men really want? We want to have true, lasting friendships with other men and women—to be at peace with ourselves and our Higher Power. We want to be fully aware in the present moments of our lives.

That is when we are most ready to do the work of recovery and become most spiritual. It is helpful at those times to remember that this program is a journey. Although at times the distance seems overwhelming, all of us are on the path. As long as we live, we never reach a point where we can stop growing. The important thing is, we are on the path; we have a good part of our journey behind us. Once begun, outside the door, we are progressing like all our brothers and sisters in the program.

We want to have some joy and to make a contribution to the world.

I am grateful that my torch burns brightly. I am finding what I really want.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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November 10

Keeping it simple

Keep it simple. What seems complex in our minds may not be complex in reality. We may not really be in the mess we think we are in. Serenity is available today if we accept today as it is, setting aside both yesterday and tomorrow. If we do what we need to do today, we will be in harmony and at peace.

What we need to be doing “out there” is right here, right now; it is as close as our spouse, children, job, and fellows in recovery.

Am I keeping it simple?

Higher Power, help me let go of everything that interferes with simply doing what I need to be doing right now.

I will simplify my life today by tending to what is mine to do, right here, right now, by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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November 11

Finding My Way Back to Me

Combat and drug addiction erased the notion that I had any goodness left within me. I was irredeemable. I had not just burned bridges. I had roasted marshmallows over their flames. Because I felt like I was nothing but poison to the good people in my world.

I became a victim in my own story. So I put chemicals in my body to soften the edges. I continued until the edges were completely blunted and dull. I was a shadow of the person I used to be. I saw my brothers who I lost in combat as collateral damage to my self-destruction. And I was carrying their memories as excuses to keep poisoning my body.

So I made a decision to not use the memories of these people as a reason to keep killing myself. These were heroes. I became the best version of myself, because that’s the only way I feel worthy of carrying their memory. Today they come with me everywhere, and I feel them working through me. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Today I will honor the people I loved and lost by being the person they always knew me to be.

~Bradley L., U.S. Army, 2005–2010

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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November 12

Reflection for the Day

Now that we’re sober and living in reality, it’s sometimes difficult to see ourselves as others see us and, in the process, determine how much progress we’ve made in recovery. In the old days, the back?of?the?bar mirror presented us with a distorted and illusory view of ourselves: the way we imagined ourselves to be and the way we imagined ourselves to appear in the eyes of others. A good way for me to measure my progress today is simply to look about me at my friends in the program. As I witness the miracle of their recoveries, I realize that I’m part of the same miracle—and will remain so as long as I’m willing. Am I grateful for reality and the Divine miracle of my recovery?
Today I Pray

May my Higher Power keep my eyes open for miracles—those marvelous changes that have taken place in my own life and in the lives of my friends in the group. May I ask no other measurement of progress than a smile I can honestly mean and a clear eye and a mind that can, at last, touch reality. May my own joy be my answer to my question, “How am I doing?”
Today I Will Remember

Miracles measure our progress. Who needs more?

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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November 13

Plan for the future, but live in the present.

The phrase “living in the present” isn’t really mysterious or mystical, though it might sound that way at first. All it means is keeping our focus on whatever is happening right now, believing that’s the specific experience God is giving us at this point in our lives. Twelve Step philosophy tells us we are always given what we need, when we need it. We can appreciate whatever is happening much more easily when we believe that.

But what about the future? We might need to change jobs or move to another home. Responsibly planning for future needs does not mean we have forsaken the present. There is a difference, and we do know when we are missing out on the moment by brooding over the past or fearing the future.

I will pay attention to my thinking today. If I’m caught in the past or the future, I’ll bring myself back to the present.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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November 14

Solitude is … when you marry your thoughts. It’s when you start off on the wrong leg and end up on the right. It’s peaceful. It’s not languid. It can make your guts feel as if they are consuming you. It can be the highlight of the tension which challenges a former truth.

~Julie Newmar

We may think there’s something wrong with solitude, equating being alone with loneliness. But we can choose to make a period of solitude part of the day, making a commitment to be fully present and alive, reveling in the time for confiding in ourselves and paying attention to the Spirit that sustains life.

We can make a list of some uses of solitude we find pleasurable. Pursuits that may enrich our solitude include writing in a journal, listening to music, preparing ourselves a favorite meal, reading, taking a walk or bicycle ride, working on a creative project, studying one of the Twelve Steps, or simply sitting and appreciating a time of quiet. A three?to?five?minute mind?clearing meditation at any time, day or night, offers surprisingly deep refreshment to our spirits. If our lives allow little time for solitude, we can make full use of even a brief interval to nurture our deeper selves.

Today, a time of solitude revives my spirit.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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November 15

Perspective

Too often, we try to gain a clear perspective before it is time. That will make us crazy. We do not always know why things are happening the way they are.

Perspective will come in retrospect. We could strain for hours today for the meaning of something that may come in an instant next year. Let it go. We can let go of our need to figure things out, to feel in control.

Now is the time to be. To feel. To go through it. To allow things to happen. To learn. To let whatever is being worked out in us take its course. In hindsight, we will know. It will become clear. For today being is enough. We have been told that all things shall work out for good in our life. We can trust that to happen, even if we cannot see the place today’s events will hold in the larger picture.

Today, I will let things happen without trying to figure everything out. If clarity is not available to me today, I will trust it to come later, in retrospect. I will put simple trust in the truth that all is well, events are unfolding as they should, and all will work out for good in my life—better than I can imagine.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*