Today's Thought - January

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January 1

Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world.

~Margaret Mead

We are on a path of change. None of us has become perfect, but we have made significant progress. We are less the victims of old obsessions and compulsions. We’re no longer weighed down by such low self-esteem. We have begun connecting to ourselves and our Higher Power. We’ve made worthy commitments. We’re learning to trust ourselves.

Today, we are freer to rock the boat. We do not have to accept the status quo, either in our own lives or in the community and world around us. We can begin to engage in the revolutionary act of becoming fully ourselves, living our values, accepting our own power to help in the creation of understanding, love, peace, light, and brotherhood and sisterhood in the world. We can cooperate with others who share our ideals.

There is hope for the world as long as each one of us knows that we’re capable of continuing to grow and change.

Today, I help to create positive change in myself and in my world.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day: Daily Meditations for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People*

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January 2

Staying Out of the Middle

“I don’t want to get in the middle, but…” is a sign that we may have just stepped into the middle.

We do not have to get caught in the middle of other people’s issues, problems, or communication. We can let others take responsibility for themselves in their relationships. We can let them work out their issues with each other.

Being a peacemaker does not mean we get in the middle. We are bearers of peace by staying peaceful ourselves and not harboring turmoil. We are peacemakers by not causing the extra chaos created when we get in the middle of other people’s affairs and relationships.

Don’t get in the middle unless you want to be there.

Today, I will refuse to accept any invitations to jump in the middle of others’ affairs, issues, and relationships. I will trust others to work out their own affairs, including the ideas and feelings they want to communicate to each other.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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January 3

The endeavor, in all branches of knowledge…to see the object as in itself it really is.

~Matthew Arnold

Often we can look right at something and not see it. Sometimes we see what we expect to see, sometimes we see what we want to see, and sometimes we just plain miss what’s right there in front of us. If the brain and the heart aren’t involved, an eyewitness account may be little better than a guess.

The acquaintance who walks right by us without a word may have lost her glasses. The attractive person we’d like to meet, while appearing conceited and aloof, may be desperately struggling with shyness and fear of rejection. The snippy salesclerk may be frantic about a teenager that didn’t come home last night. Our child’s sudden good grades may be the result of cheating. A tantrum may be a cry for help.

Things are not always what they appear to be. We need more than our eyes to get the picture.

I will endeavor to see beneath the surface appearance of people and events, withholding judgment until I have the facts.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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January 4

Nature has given us two ears, but only one mouth.

~Benjamin Disraeli

We’ve all heard that we should listen twice as much as we talk. That’s pretty good advice. Listening is how we learn what works for other people like us. Listening is how we hear the experience, strength, and hope that others share with us. If we don’t listen, we won’t know how to change and grow.

But we also need to talk. We need to share what we are thinking and doing each day, and how we are feeling. There are many good things we get from talking. For example, we get a chance to listen to ourselves, and that helps us know ourselves better. We also get care, attention, and understanding. This is how we make friends. And when we talk with others, they give us feedback that can improve our ideas.

In recovery, we listen and we share. We get and we give. We find that we learn something every time we agree or disagree with someone else’s ideas. Most important, we learn how it works for others and what we can try for ourselves.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me listen carefully and often today. And remind me to share my thoughts, too.
Today's Action

I will list ten helpful things I learned today by listening.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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January 5

We live each day with special gifts that are a part of our very being, and life is a process of discovering and developing these God-given gifts within each one of us.

~Jeanne Dixon

As our recovery progresses, we discover ways to share ourselves with other people. We feel the desire to act on things we’ve learned and to apply them in our relationships. This way we can pass on to others the awareness and knowledge we have been given.

This wonderful urge to take action should be followed, not resisted. A spiritual awakening is just that—an awakening of the spirit, which then seeks to be part of all life itself.

When we discover our talents, whatever they are, we will be true to them and look for opportunities to use them. The challenge of doing this lets such qualities as integrity, courage, self-discipline, and compassion rise to the surface, where they become part of our daily practice. The alignment of who we are on the outside with who we are on the inside is a priceless gift of recovery.

My recovery gives me great joy. I will share that joy with others today.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction*

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January 6

One Day at a Time

Time ripens all things. No man’s born wise.

~Miguel de Cervantes

We come to understand time in a different way. Each day we discover that there is an order to life that is only revealed day-to-day. The moments when life forces us to reconsider our schedule are no longer met with anger and frustration. We begin to trust our Higher Power to actually dictate what will happen in our lives. We find ourselves staying close to people who have developed some measure of humility for they seem to have a better sense of timing.

We remember the times when we demanded, “I want what I want when I want it.” The funny thing was, we were usually disappointed when we got what we wanted.

We are even finding a new appreciation for the seasons of the year and for our lives. We find ourselves enjoying winter just as much as summer, our old age as much as our youth. Each new day deposits within us new wisdom.

Today I will remember that rather than fighting time, I will become time’s passenger.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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January 7

There is no area of personal challenge in your life that God’s love cannot solve.

~Mary Kupferle

We seem so certain at times that we alone must find the solution to a nagging, troubling situation. As we obsessively focus our attention on the problem, we feel even greater frustration when the solution eludes us.

Most of us have heard that we keep a problem a problem by giving our attention to it—by the power we give it. What we generally forget is that placing our focus on God instead, while believing in God’s love for us and God’s concern for our plight, will reveal the solution quite quickly.

God’s love is constant. God’s willingness to care for us, always, is there to be discovered. Our challenges offer us opportunities to remember God’s presence. All challenges, though painful on occasion, are really our invitations to walk a stronger spiritual path.

God’s love accompanies me everywhere today. I won’t stumble if I remember this.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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January 8

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.

~Erica Jong

There was a time when we didn't believe we had any talents. We couldn't imagine we had any purpose or any gift to give to the world. But it's true: We all have talents, many of them. If we each haven't yet discovered ours, we soon will. With time and the Steps and friends, we will be encouraged to recognize them, to celebrate them, to cultivate them, to dare to give them away.

Utilizing our talents fully, which is part of life's bigger plan, may lead us to new jobs, new friends, to places presently unknown. The prospect of new horizons may excite us. It may also elicit dread. We can trust that, just as we are given no problems too big to handle, we are given no talents too great to develop. The strength to move ahead will always be available if we have faith. And the program offers us faith.

I will look for my talents today. l will also look for talents in my friends. I can celebrate them, and soon the way to use them will become clear.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

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January 9

We only have one person to blame, and that’s each other.

~Barry Beck, NHL player

Blame is not a word that works well for us. It is an attack word, a negative assault that fails to point toward anything better. Much better is the word responsible. When a man opens a door and accidentally knocks down a child on the other side, he is responsible for his action, and he reaches down to help the child up again. It is nothing to be ashamed of or blamed for. He isn’t a bad person for doing that. But he takes responsibility.

Blame and responsibility are difficult matters for us to separate. Many of us have felt blamed and shamed from our earliest memories. As a result, when we are responsible, we have a knee-jerk impulse to feel ashamed. But taking responsibility without shame is what a strong man does. We can learn to separate them, and as we do, our self-esteem rises.

Today, I will take responsibility for my actions and respect myself for doing so.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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January 10

AA Thought for the Day

Before we decide to quit drinking, most of us have to come up against a blank wall. We see that we’re licked, that we have to quit. But we don’t know which way to turn for help. There seems to be no door in that blank wall. AA opens the door that leads to sobriety. By encouraging us to honestly admit that we’re alcoholics and to realize that we can’t take even one drink, and by showing us which way to turn for help, AA opens the door in that blank wall. Have I gone through that door to sobriety?
Meditation for the Day

I must have a singleness of purpose to do my part in God’s work. I must not let material distractions interfere with my job of improving personal relationships. It is easy to become distracted by material affairs, so that I lose my singleness of purpose. I do not have time to be concerned about the multifarious concerns of the world. I must concentrate and specialize on what I can do best.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not become distracted by material affairs. I pray that I may concentrate on doing what I can do best.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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January 11

Come stand by my side where I'm going,
Take my hand if I stumble and fall
It's the strength that you share when you're growing
That gives me what I need most of all.

~Hoyt Axton

The bear cub was miserable. Her father, the leader of the pack, had left a month ago to find them winter shelter and had not yet returned. Everyone went on as if nothing had changed.

One evening the cub had a dream in which her father appeared and said, "Daughter, I know you grieve for me, but your burden is too heavy to carry alone. Share it with the others and let them comfort you. Sharing will only lighten your load, and if you can accept help now you will find it easier to give when others are in need."

The next morning the little cub woke with a much lighter heart. As it turns out, everyone in the pack shared the same dream. There was much hugging and crying and reaching out and healing.

We can easily lighten our loads by asking support from those who love us, knowing our turn to help will come.

What help can I ask for today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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January 12

This above all, to refuse to be a victim. Unless I can do that I can do nothing.

~Margaret Atwood

Men have often become victims by seeing themselves as saviors. We forgot that we have needs too. We thought if we gave enough, our needs would eventually be met. In the process, we became great controllers, not for the sake of power, but to make everything okay. We turn ourselves inside out to make our mates happy or to please our children or friends. But being a savior is a disrespectful role to play. When people became angry with us for it, we absorbed their anger and felt misunderstood.

No relationship is healthy for either person if one is a victim. We must do our loved ones the favor of letting them see our strength—let them bump up against it—even when that means we say a loud and strong no! After we have said no, our yes is much more believable.

Today, I will take responsibility for my own life and try not to be a savior for others. I won’t undermine my relationships by being a victim.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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January 13

Living today well

Our Higher Power’s will for us is always better than our own, but we cannot see this truth unless we let go enough to venture into the new areas to which we are being led. To experience growth, we must let go of old ideas. (Our old ideas fit only our drug-centered world.) Each day, well lived, moves us closer to what we are seeking. We must become more giving and more willing to use what we have today. Am I living today well?

Higher Power, help me accept your will for me today.

I will live today well by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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January 14

Reflection for the Day

If a person with a substance use disorder or an addiction wants to live a full life in recovery, the power a substance holds must be replaced with something else—preferably a positive force, but at least a neutral influence. It is important not to replace a negative with another negative. In Twelve Step programs, that is why we say to the agnostic newcomer: If you can’t believe in God, find a positive power that is as great as the power of your addiction, and give it the power and dependence you gave to your addiction. In the program, the agnostic is left free to find their Higher Power and can use the principles of the program and the therapy of the meetings to aid in rebuilding their life. Do I go out of my way to work with newcomers?
Today I Pray

May the Power of the program work its miracles. If newcomers are disturbed by the religiosity of the program, may I welcome them on their own spiritual terms. May I recognize that we are all spiritual beings.
Today I Will Remember

To each their own spirituality.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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January 15

Detachment is always possible.

We can take our feelings and our minds on a “mini-trip” every time the people in our lives get abusive or the circumstances in our lives get too demanding. But we don’t have to deny our emotions and let others control how we feel and what we do. For many of us, this is an astonishing revelation. We never understood how able we really were to decide what we would feel.

Detachment sounds more mysterious than it really is. At first we may think it means we can’t care about our loved ones anymore. Actually, letting others alone to do what they will and practicing acceptance are far more caring. Detaching is acknowledging that each of us is responsible for our own journey.

My journey will be what I make it today. I will detach with love.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*