Steps By The Big Book

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SESSION 16

STEP 8 Into Action pp. 76 - 84

Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. (82: 3)

Step 8 written inventory Take Step 8

ION YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read pp. 76 - 84 in Chapter 6, Into Action on Steps 8 and 9. Many will read Step 8 in the 12&12. We are learning how to live in partnership with all men and women.

• WRITE Make a list of all people you have harmed. Write down what you did to those people.

Do not yet concern yourself now with whether or not you should, or will be able to, actually make the amends.

• TALK Talk with your sponsor and with other members of the group about whom to include on your list of amends. Step 8 is part action and part attitude: first you make a list, second you become willing.

Talk with your sponsor about what an amends might look like. (76: 3)

• PRACTICE DAILY PRAYER / MEDITATION

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 8?
We may read parts of Into Action pp. 76-84 together. Without mentioning names, talk about whom we have included on our list. For example, have I included everyone I have ever interacted with? Did I only include people I committed egregious acts against? Does my list have too many, or too few, people on it? We may share our personal writings, or choose one or more group members to speak on this Step by the Big Book.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider 76: 3-77: 1; 78: 2-79: 0; 80: 5; 83: 2, 3)
1.) All persons we had harmed– Where had I been at fault?

• How may I be clear to myself about my responsibility in the wrongs I have committed?
• How may I accept my responsibility to other people, yet not accept responsibility for other people? [Responsibility: The ability to respond appropriately.]
• May I let go of the feeling of responsibility for the way certain people treated me?
• Do I owe amends to people who have also harmed me? (77: 1)
• Have I put my own name on the top of my list of people I have harmed? Why or why not? [see 12&12, 79: 3-80: 0, 1]

2.) What harms have I committed against the people on my list?

• -Business acquaintances: (76: 4) Did I not cooperate with others or not put in a day’s work? Did I pad expense accounts or steal money?
• -Friends we have hurt. (76: 4) Have I gossiped or been emotionally unavailable? Have I stolen from them? Have I failed to keep in contact?
• -Those we hate. (77: 1) Have I wished ill-will upon them? Have I spoken badly of them? Have I committed the harms described above?
• -Our creditors: We owe money. (78: 2) Have I failed to admit that money or services are owed? Have I failed to make arrangements to pay what is owed?
• -Perhaps we have committed a criminal offense. (78: 3) Have I paid my fine and done my time? Have I made a commitment not to repeat those crimes?
• -We have domestic troubles. (80: 5) The family, (83: 1) spouse, or parents. (82: 2) Have I physically / emotionally / verbally abused my spouse, children, or other family members? Have I been emotionally unavailable to those family members?
• -Some people cannot be seen. (82: 3) Have I done any or all of the above to those I cannot locate or who have died?

3.) Willing to make amends to them all

• What have I done to become willing to make these amends?
• Why am I not willing to make amends with some of the people on my list? Do I have fear of making direct amends? Do I have persistent resentment toward some? Am I unable to see the harm I have caused?
• In making amends, am I still trying to please, or control, or behave in some other way that interferes with an honest relationship? Will it help to revisit Steps 4 and 5, and Steps 6 and 7 about these issues?
• What would my life be like if I had already made these amends?

III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 8 PRINCIPLES

• How may I move beyond my resentments, and blaming others, and believing I was the innocent victim, and my other justifications for the harms I caused?
• Are there any names I have not added to my list? Am I willing to add them now?
• Am I beginning to feel compassion and empathy for others, including myself? Describe.
• How may I have peace with my past, so that I may have peace in the present and future?

…………………………………………………………………………
IV TAKE STEP 8: WRITE THE LIST
We take Step 8 in the third paragraph of page 76.
See page 74 of this workbook for the optional Step 8 written inventory.


When we have finished writing the list of people you have harmed, then according to the Big Book and under the conditions of this day, we have taken Step 8.


Observe taking Step 8 in the manner that you and your group choose.


pp. 85-86

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SESSION 17

STEP 9 Into Action pp. 76 - 84

Step 9. Made direct amends wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. (83: 2)

Take Step 9

ION YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read pages 76 - 84 in Chapter 6, Into Action on Step 9. Many read Step 9 in the 12&12. Reparations take innumerable forms. (79: 1)

• WRITE Take a name, and decide what action is needed to re-create the best possible relationship with that person.

• TALK Talk with your sponsor and other members of the group. Review the written directions as they are in the Big Book.
  • • Making amends means being able to say you are sorry, that you make mistakes, that you care, and that you are growing and changing. Keep it a pure and simple amend and nothing else.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER We are not alone.

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 9?
We may read pages 76-84 in Chapter 6, Into Action on Step 9. Support is needed to carry out this Step. We can only do the part we are responsible for when we make amends. Step 9 requires patience, thoughtful self examination, and restraint.
Members of the group may share their experiences with this Step by the Big Book.


Points of Focus and Reflection (76: 3-78: 0; 79: 1-80: 1; 81: 1-82: 1; 83: 1-84: 1)
1.) Ask for willingness

• How is making amends a commitment to a continuous process of change?
• Why is making amends more than just saying, “I’m sorry?”
• What about financial amends? What behaviors do I need to amend?
• Do I owe amends to people who have also harmed me? (77: 1)
• Do I owe amends to anyone who is dead? What was special about that person that I might be able to use in planning my amends?
• Am I genuine in making my amends, or do I have hidden motives, such as to gain acceptance or love from someone else, or to prove them wrong and me right?
• Can I let go of the outcome, knowing that I have no control over the other person’s response?

2.) Direct amends

• The Big Book states that in making amends:
  • • We become ready, and we have obtained permission. (80: 1)
    • We…have consulted with [our sponsor or] others. (80: 1)
    • We…asked God to help. (80: 1)
    • We ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing. (79: 1)
    • We are trying to put our lives in order… [and] to be of maximum service to God and to the people about us. (77: 0)
    • Face to face, we make direct amends. (59: 2)
    • We go out to our fellows. (76: 3) We go…in a helpful and forgiving spirit. (77: 1) We secure their consent. (80: 1)
    • We will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past. (77: 2)
    • We have a sincere desire to set right the wrong. (77: 0)
    • We are there to sweep off our side of the street. (77: 2)
    • Their faults are not discussed. We stick to our own. (78: 0)
    • Confessing our former ill feeling and expressing our regret. (77: 1)
    • We should admit our fault. (81: 1)
    • We are sorry for what we have done and…it shall not be repeated. (81: 1)
• Step 9 Promises: Do I now know a new freedom and a new happiness? (83: 4)

3.) Will making direct amends injure them or others?

• Will I be harming the person or others further by making amends?
• When I feel guilty, do I put them in the position of having to take care of me?
• Talk with your sponsor and other group members about how these amends might be made.

III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 9 PRINCIPLES

• How may I accept responsibility for the harm I caused and for repairing that harm? How may I give of myself and be of service to others?
• May I accept that my love and tolerance also extend to myself?
• How may I let go of all my expectations about how my amends will be received?
• For what have I forgiven myself?
• How may I accept that my recovery is the living amend I make to myself?

………………………………………………………………………..


IV Take Step 9 – Make the amends for this day.
We take Step 9 in paragraph 3 on page 76.
We go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. (76: 3)


We make our Step 9 amends while proceeding with Step 10, Step 11, and Step 12 on a daily basis.
Mark taking Step 9 in the manner that your group sees fit.


pp. 87-88

http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

[bluidkiti]

SESSION 18

STEP 10 Into Action pp. 84 - 85

Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
A daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. (85: 1)

Daily Step 10 written inventory Take Step 10

ION YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?
.

• READ Read Chapter 6 Into Action pages 83- 85 in the Big Book. Many read Step 10 in the 12&12. What does it mean that ‘the Promises’ directly precede Step 10 in the Big Book?

• WRITE Continue your written journal of your reflections. Remember that if you are upset with someone, your emotional reactions are acceptable and valid, no matter what they are. Go deeper with a feeling before trying to make it go away. What might your anger be covering up? If you choose to act on your feelings in a vengeful or manipulative way, you may have some regrets later on.

• TALK Talk with your sponsor and other members of your group. Step 10 combines self examination (inventory) with making amends.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 10?
We may share our reflections. One or more members of the group may choose to speak on Step 10 by the Big Book.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider 84: 2-85: 2)
1.) Continued to take personal inventory

• How may I work Step 10 to keep me within this day?
• What did I do today that worked and did not work to give me and others serenity and peace of mind? (84: 2) (See page 34 this workbook for Step 10 inventory.)
• Can I determine my responsibility and do what is necessary to set things straight, and let go of the outcome?

2.) When we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

• Have I been resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid? (84: 2)
• Have I allowed myself to become too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?
• Have I kept something to myself that I should have discussed with my sponsor?
• Was there fear in my life today? (84: 2)
• Have I harmed others, directly, or indirectly, today? How?

• Do I owe any apologies or amends? Where was I wrong? (84: 2)
• Was I out of bounds? Did I make mistakes; miss the mark?
• If I could do it over again, what would I do differently?
• How might I do better next time?

3.) We have entered the world of the spirit. (84: 2)Watch. Ask. Turn.

• Do I watch for my selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear as I go through the day? (84: 2)
• Do I ask God of my understanding to remove these at once, because I am now watching and I am starting to be awake? (84: 2)
• Do I turn that force of my self-willfulness to the good of others? (84: 2)

4.) Step 10 promises

• Have I ceased fighting anythingor anyone – even alcohol? (84: 3)
• Have I been restored to sanity? (85: 0) Is this the sanity of Step 2?
• Has my spiritual malady been overcome; have I straightened out mentally (meaning the obsession of the mind that takes me to a drink)? (See 64: 3)
• Am I …recovered…? (17: 1)

5.) We are not cured of alcoholism (85: 1)

• Is it enough for me just to stay sober? Have I been letting up on my spiritual program of action and resting on my laurels? (85: 1)

III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 10 PRINCIPLES

• How may I not forget how important my happiness and my comfort are, one day at a time?
• How may I do the work of recovery, regardless of how I feel?
• How may I be honest with myself, about myself, while an event is still happening?
• When I make a mistake do I think I am the mistake, or that it was human error?
• What have I done today about which I feel positive?
• How may I know which principles I need to practice in a given situation?

…………………………………………………….
IV TAKE STEP 10 ON A DAILY BASIS
We take Step 10 in the second paragraph on page 84.
We continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. (84: 2)


According to the Big Book and under the conditions of this day, we practice Step 10 on a daily basis.
Acknowledge taking Step 10 in the manner that you and your group see fit.


See page 34 of this workbook for the optional Step 10 Daily Written Inventory (Assets and Liabilities Checklist.)


pp. 89-90

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SESSION 19

STEP 11 Into Action pp. 85 – 88

Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
We pause…and ask.... (87: 3) It works – it really does. (88: 1)

Take Step 11

ION YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read from Chapter 6, Into Action the bottom of page 85 to the end of the chapter. Many read Step 11 in the 12&12.

• WRITE Continue to write your daily reflections. Continue to make your Step 9 amends, and to take a Step 10 daily inventory.

• TALK Continue to discuss your work with your sponsor and other group members.

• 1. • Heard in a meeting: “Being spiritual is being open minded and looking for the gifts in things.”
     • Heard in a meeting: “I pray to be who I am and all I am (and not somebody different) – to get a better and clearer sense of my place in the universe.”

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER Meditation and prayer, like other tools of recovery, are intensely practical. Like all tools, they work better the more we use them. See optional meditation practice pp. 89-90 of this workbook.

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 11?
We review the three meditation / prayer practices of Step 11, pp. 85 - 88.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider 85: 3-88: 3)
1.) Prayer and meditation

• Heard in a meeting: “Prayer is talking to God. Meditation is listening for God.”
• Do I have a specific spiritual path? For what am I seeking?
• What is my understanding of the differences between religion and spirituality? What have I done to explore my own spirituality?
• Do I recognize that a moment of silence is meditation, where I may quiet my mind on a regular basis so that I can gain understanding and knowledge from my higher power?
• [Optional: ‘Thy will not mine, be done.’ … Just saying it over and over will often enable us to clear a channel choked up with anger, fear, frustration, or

• misunderstanding, and permit us to return to the surest help of all – our search for God [of our understanding]’s will, not our own, in the moment of stress. 12&12, 103: 0]

2.) Conscious contact

• The Big Book authors speak of the Retire at night meditation / prayer (86:1): …Review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid?
• Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? … After making our review we ask God [of our understanding]’s forgiveness and inquire, what corrective measures should be taken? (86: 1)

• There also is the On awakening meditation / prayer (86: 2, 3 - 87: 0, 1, 2): We ask God [of our understanding] to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. (86: 2)
• We ask for freedom from self-will…. (87: 1)
• Be quick to see where religious people are right. (87: 2)

• And, there is the Through the day meditation / prayer (87: 3 - 88: 0): …We pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day ‘Thy will be done.’ (87: 3 - 88: 0)

3.) The power to carry that out.

• Why do we pray only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out? (59: 2)
• How does humility apply to this?

IV DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 11 PRINCIPLES

• How may I remember that I am not in charge of the world?
• How may I have the faith and courage that I will be given the power to live according to my higher power’s will?
• How may I relax my grasp on all distracting thoughts and plans and feelings?
• How may I pass-on to others my inner knowing of creation’s deep wish of well being for me and others?
• How may I make a commitment to the practice of regular meditation and prayer?
• Have I meditated and prayed today?

………………………………………………………………………
III TAKE STEP ELEVEN ON A DAILY BASIS.
We take Step 11 in the first three paragraphs on page 86.
We ask God [of our understanding]…. (86: 1, 2, 3)


According to the Big Book and under the conditions of this day, we practice Step 11 on a daily basis.


Take Step 11 in the manner that you and your group see fit. Some recite the Step or read an 11th Step prayer.

STEP 11 MEDITATION / PRAYER

[Optional: RELAX and RECEIVE THE WISH FOR WELL-BEING

Relax
Relax the body. Relax the breathing. Relax the mind.
As though lying on a sunlit beach, let us relax and breathe deeply of the spiritual atmosphere.... (12&12, p. 100: 1)


Relax the body

• • • Let the body arrive here at this place. Sit quietly and comfortably. You may have your eyes closed or open.
    • Deeply relax all your muscles, beginning at your feet and progressing up to your face.
    • Let all bodily sensations come and go; let them settle naturally in their own way.
    • Surrender to the natural power of the body; feel it embody you.

Relax the breathing

• Let the breath be here.
• Let the breath come and go under its own natural power.
• Feel it all the way in, all the way out, breathing you.
• You may pay attention to your breathing. You may count or repeat your own word or phrase or prayer silently to yourself as you exhale.

Relax the mind

• Let the mind be here.
• Notice any grasping to the thinking mechanism in your mind. Let that release itself, permitting thoughts and sensations to come and to go, to arise and to dissolve under their own power.
• Let go of the thoughts – as letting go of kite strings.
• Let the thoughts go – as snow flakes melting into an open winter pond.
• When you notice your mind wandering (it will), you may notice it and passively bring your attention back to your breathing. Take your mind and lead it gently back.
• Rest in that space at the end of breathing out, before the next breath.
• Thus let the mind unfurl and fall utterly open – at ease, free of focus, with the gaze of your eyes totally expansive.

Practice for approximately 20 minutes once or twice a day (or at least 3-4 times per week). ]


[Optional: RELAX and RECEIVE THE WISH FOR WELL-BEING


Receive the wish for well-being
Relax. Think beautiful thoughts. Pass it on.
God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can,
And wisdom to know the difference. (12&12, p. 125: 2)


Relax

• Sit in a relaxed way. Relax the body. Relax the breathing. Relax the mind.

Think beautiful thoughts

• Imagine the faces of the ones (great figures, people, family, teachers, pets, places) who made you feel welcome, comfortable, and included; who wished the deepest well-being for you.
• Bathe in the loving energy of that wish for you to have deepest well-being, happiness and joy. Bask in the radiance. Feel it and take it in, like a contented cat stretching out on a sun-drenched carpet.
• Accept it no matter what you think you deserve, or what you think of them. Trust this loving wish more than the limiting thoughts of yourself and others.
• Receive its healing radiance – like a gentle shower into every part of your mind and body, from head to toe.

• After a little while, join with those who wish you well, saying over and over about yourself:

-"May this one have deepest well-being, happiness and joy." (x 3+)

• After some time, relax into that loving radiance, beyond separation of self and others.

Pass it on

• After some time, while receiving the others’ wish for your well-being, now also channel and extend that wish to another – sensing them as similar to you in their layers of suffering, and wish to be free of it. Pass it on, over and over:

-“May this one have deepest well-being, happiness and joy.” (x 3+)

• Feel the power of this practice to pull you beyond your own self-grasping patterns of suffering, and to open you toward the deep tranquility and goodness of your inmost being.

Practice for approximately 20 minutes once or twice a day (or at least 3-4 times per week). ]



pp. 91-95
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

[bluidkiti]

SESSION 20

STEP 12Working With Others pp. 89 - 103

Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Trust in God and clean house and help… others. (98: 2; 97: 1)

Take Step 12

I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ We read Chapter 7, Working With Others. Many will read Step 12 in the 12&12.

• WRITE We write our daily reflections. We continue making our Step 9 amends. We do Step 10 spot-check inventories. We may work at annual or semi-annual inventories of all Steps.

• TALK We talk with our sponsor and new comers. We carry the message.

• 1. • Heard in a meeting: “The message of Step 12 is not ‘You should get sober;’ but rather ‘Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps….’”
     • Heard in a meeting: “We carry the message; we cannot carry the drunk.”

• PRACTICE DAILY PRAYER / MEDITATION. We practice Step 11 conscious contact with the higher power of our understanding on a daily basis.

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of step 12?
We may read and discuss Chapter 7, Working With Others. One or more members of the group might share their experiences with Step 12 of the Big Book.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider Chapter 7 quotes pp. 93-94 this workbook.)
1.) Spiritual awakening as the result

• What is my overall experience as a result of working the Steps?
• By doing my own work in Steps 1 through 11, have I developed a new way of thinking, feeling and acting, and connecting with others?
• Is it my experience that I have undergone a profound alterationin [my] reaction to life? (567: 4)
• Have I had a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery? (567: 1)
• What lasting changes have resulted from my spiritual awakening?

• Having awakened to the reality that I too am a good and caring person, can I invite others to see themselves as a loving higher power might see them, rather than from their own distorted or antagonistic outlook?

2.) Carry this message

• What is this message that is referred to in Step 12? (60: 0) See also 17: 3; 45: 2; 77: 0; 89: 1.
• In my experience, does this message include that there is hope, we are not alone, we can stay sober, and we can recover?
• Did someone carry the message to me?
• Why was an AA member able to reach me in a way that no one else ever had?
• What kind of service work am I doing today to carry the message?
• What are the step-by-step requirements for Twelfth Step work? (pp. 89-100)
• May I share who I am, where I have come from, and how it is for me now?

3.) Practice these principles

• What does it mean to me to practice? (60: 0) Does it mean ‘to keep trying’?
• What does it mean to practice these principles (60: 0) in all my affairs?
• Do I find life offering opportunities to repeatedly experience my old shortcomings, my old patterns and my old habits, but each time with new understanding?

III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 12 PRINCIPLES

• How may I deeply wish that others, including myself, may be happy, joyous, and free?
• How may I understand that sometimes the best way of loving and helping is to stop enabling someone else to drink?
• What is my attitude about sponsorship? What is my attitude about service?
• How may I practice spiritual principles, such as compassion, regardless of how I feel?
• If my disease is often expressed as self-centeredness, how may I express my recovery as selfless service?

………………………………………..
IV WORK STEP 12 ON A DAILY BASIS
We take Step 12 in the first paragraph on page 89.


A group reading of the last portion of Chapter 11, A Vision for You, is a fitting way to end these Steps by the Big Book group sessions. (164: 2, 3, 4)




[Heard in a meeting: “If we want to be happy, we serve others.”

• "How may we alcoholics livehappy, joyous, and free? (133: 0)

• 1. • “Happiness is being free of suffering – free of our mind's tortured reactions to the things that may hurt or frighten us.
     • “Joy is taking grateful delight in another's happiness, including our own.

• 1. • “Freedom is the reprieve from grasping onto our self-centered alcoholism, our self-absorption, just for today."]

pp. 96-98

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STEP 12 PASS THIS ON (94: 1) PRINCIPLES FROM THE BIG BOOK

…When all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic

would save the day. (Bill’s Story, 15: 1)

This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. (89: 1)

. . .

• When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. (90: 1)
• Realizing [you] are dealing with a sick person. … Put yourself in his place. (90: 1,2) So cooperate; never criticize. (89: 3)
• Don't deal with him when he is very drunk.... (90: 3)
• If he does not want to see you, never force yourself upon him. (90: 4)
• You might place this book where he can see it in the interval. (90: 4)
• See your man alone [without…family], if possible. (91: 3)

. . .

• Tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encourage him to speak of himself. If he wishes to talk, let him do so. (91: 3)
• …Give him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time you quit. But say nothing, for the moment, of how that was accomplished. (91: 3)
• When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic. (91: 4)
• Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop. (92: 0)
• Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. (92: 0)

. . .

• And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic. (92: 1)
• If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can - if he is not too alcoholic. But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself. (92: 1)
• Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. (92: 2)
• Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. (92: 2)
• Even though your protégé may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well. Let him ask you that question, if he will. (92: 2-93: 0)

. . .

• Tell him exactly what happened to you. (93: 0)
• ... Make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. (93: 0)
• Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion. (93: 2)
• Outline the program of action.... (94: 1)
• Make it plain he is under no obligation to...see you again if he doesn't want to. (94: 1)

. . .

• Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. ... Do not contradict such views. (94: 2)

• On your first visit tell him about the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book. (94: 2)
• ...Do not wear out your welcome. Give him a chance to think it over. (95: 1)
• ...You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform. (95: 1)
• Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. (95: 1)

. . .

• Show him how they [the Steps] worked with you. (95: 1)
• Offer him friendship and fellowship. (95: 1)
• Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help. (95: 1)
• ...If he expects you to act only as a banker...or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him.... (95: 2)
• If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. (95: 3)

• If he thinks he can do the job in some other way...encourage him to follow his own conscience. (95: 4)

. . .

• Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man. He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery. Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice. (96: 2)
• Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family. ... The family should be offered your way of life. (97: 3)
• The minute we put our work on a ‘service’ plane, the alcoholic commences to rely on our assistance…claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. (98: 1)
• Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. (98: 2)
• When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. (100: 2)
• We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. (103: 1)

. . .

• Be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does. (99: 1)

We may read Chapter 8, To Wives; Chapter 9, The Family Afterwards; Chapter 10, To Employers and Chapter 11, A Vision for You. These chapters teach us how to practice the Twelve Step principles in all our affairs.


Some of us may immediately begin working through the Steps again with the perspective that we have gained from our journey thus far.


pp. 99-100
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

[bluidkiti]

SUMMARY OF STEPS BY THE BIG BOOK

[Direct quotes from Big Book and 12&12. Compile your own!]




A.) “…the drink problem….” (17: 1)


B.) “…a common solution….” (17: 3)


C.) “…a practical program of action…” (9: 6)



A.) The Problem: “…We were full of fear…” (52: 2)


Step One [Honesty]

• “If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely [mental obsession], or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take [physical compulsion], you are probably alcoholic.” (44: 1)
  • • [Mental obsession:] “They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense [mental obsession] of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks….” (xxviii: 4)
    • [Physical compulsion:] “After they have succumbed to the desire [mental obsession] again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving [physical compulsion] develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over….” (xxix: 0)

• “…The main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body.” (23: 1)
  • • “Was I crazy? I began to wonder, for such an appalling lack of perspective seemed near being just that.” (5: 5)
    • “The alcoholics under investigation were still childish, emotionally sensitive, and grandiose.” [12&12, (123:0)]
    • “We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people….”(52: 2)

B.) The Solution: “…Quit playing God.” (62: 3)


Step Two [Hope]

• “… You may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.” (44: 1)
  • • “…Unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.” (xxix: 0)
    • “They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements.” (27: 4)

• “…The personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism….” (567: 1)
  • • “Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.” (27: 4)
    • “Most of our experiences are what the psychologist William James calls the ‘educational variety’ because they develop slowly over a period of time. (567: 4)

• “With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.” (567: 4)
• “Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it ‘God-consciousness.’” (568: 0)
  • • “First of all, we had to quit playing God.” (62: 3)
    • “When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you.” (47: 1)

• “We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.” (568: 3)
  • • “… [The] main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem.” (45: 2)

C.)The Program of Action: "... We pause…and ask...." (87: 3)


Step Three and Beyond [Trust]

• “…The only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.” (xxix: 1)
  • • “It meant destruction of self-centeredness.” (14: 1)
    • “Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others….” (25: 1)
    • “Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. (62: 1)
    • “So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!” (62: 2)
    • "He is the Principal; we are His agents." (62: 3)

• STEP 4 [Courage] “Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action…a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us [from higher power]. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.” (63: 4)
  • • “Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?” (67: 2)
    • “We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.” (67: 2)
    • “If you have already made a decision [Step 3], and an inventory of your grosser handicaps [Step 4], you have made a good beginning.” (71: 0)

• STEP 5 [Integrity] “We usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient.” (72: 2)
  • • “…They told someone else all their life story.” (73: 0)
    • “We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk.” (75: 1)
    • “We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye.” (75: 2)

• STEP 6 [Willingness] “…Let go….” (76: 1)

• STEP 7 [Humility] “…Let God….” (76: 1)

• STEP 8 [Compassion] “We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal.” (76: 3)

• STEP 9 [Justice] “Now we need more action, without which we find that ‘Faith without works is dead.’ … Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past.” (76: 3)
  • • “If we are painstaking ... Self-seeking will slip away.... Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. ... If we work for them.” (83: 4)

• STEP 10 [Perseverance] “Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.” (84: 2)

• STEP 11 [Spiritual awareness] “… Let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. …We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.” (86: 2)
  • • "... We pause…and ask..." (87: 3)
    • “…Humbly saying to ourselves many times each day ‘Thy will be done.’” (88: 0)

• STEP 12 [Service] “…Nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. … Remember they are very ill.” (89: 1)
  • • “Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.” (98: 2) “Helping others” (97: 1)
    • “…Be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does.” (99: 1)

pp. 101-104
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/