Today's Thought - February

[bluidkiti]

February 14

Go to the truth beyond the mind. Love is the bridge.

~Stephen Levine

Our best thinking often got us in trouble. We convinced ourselves that doing the absolutely wrong thing was right. We thought we knew what was real and true. We fought to defend our truths. We became self-righteous, arrogant, and full of ego. These attitudes kept us from the truth. Why? Because what was missing was love. We replaced love of people and love of spiritual principles with love of alcohol and drugs, and love of self. We rejected divine love and chose self-centeredness instead.

Recovery asks us to risk telling the truth again. We start our meetings by stating the truth of why we are there: "Hi, my name is...and I’m an addict." We do inventories to discover truths about ourselves. The love we show each other and the love of our Higher Power help nurse us back to health. Love is the bridge that makes us willing to face the truth. We use the Steps to cross this bridge and find the truths that will set us free.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, you are both truth and love. Help me to see you in the challenges of my day.

[bluidkiti]

February 15

Spreading the Message of Love

I had trust issues and didn't want to go into a room full of people that I didn't know. It took me a long time to be able to join a group and be honest and open. I wasn't ready to speak of my emotions or feelings. In the beginning, not speaking was the easy part.

Today I am a member of a group with a lot of newcomers. I see myself in all of them. Some share. Some don't. Some of them sit there with no light in their eyes. What do I do? I approach them, welcome them, introduce myself, and say "I love you." That's something I would never have done before. Never.

Imagine how different the world would be if a world full of people did that too.

Today I will welcome a newcomer as I was welcomed in the community of recovery - with uninhibited love.

~John F., U.S. Air Force, 1985–1996

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

[bluidkiti]

February 16

Reflection for the Day

Recovery teaches us that we are bodily and mentally different from our fellows. We are reminded that the great obsession of every abnormal drinker or dependent user - and every one of us who is otherwise addictive - is to prove that somehow, someday, we will be able to control our drinking, using, eating, or gambling. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing, we are told, and many pursue it to the gates of insanity or death. Have I conceded to my innermost self that, for me, "One is too many and a thousand not enough"?

Today I Pray

May I have no illusions about someday becoming a moderate drinker or drug user after being an obsessive one. May I muffle any small voice of destructive pride that lies to me, telling me that I can now go back to my former use and control it. This is a program of no return, and I thank my Higher Power for it.
Today I Will Remember

My goal must be lifelong abstinence - a day at a time.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

[bluidkiti]

February 17

No one's behavior reflects on me but mine!

Being embarrassed by a friend or lover's drunkenness was not uncommon. Most of us experienced that. What was also common was assuming others judged us every time the alcoholic drank.

It's difficult to give up that belief even with the input we now receive from program members. Slowly, we are beginning to understand that it is our shame that has triggered our assumptions.

Whenever we behave as respectful, well-meaning people, others can judge us only as such. If, by contrast, we choose to behave as self-centered, rude individuals, that is exactly how we will be viewed. How the alcoholic in our lives acts is not a true barometer of how others see us.

I will focus on me today and how I project myself. If I want the love and praises of others, I’ll need to earn it by my actions.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

[bluidkiti]

February 18

An improviser may have to practice for years before being able to play a totally spontaneous minute of music in which every detail is right for its own fleeting moment.

~Stephen Nachmanovich

We have achieved mastery and success in some areas of our lives but are still beginners in others. We may have forgotten the time and persistence our accomplishments required and are expecting instant comprehension and command of something new to us.

It is never too late for us to acquire new learning, as long as we have the humility and courage to be beginners again. This means being tolerant of our own awkwardness and ignorance, being patient as we go through what seems like failure and not giving up easily on ourselves or on the learning process.

It means persevering, taking small steps over and over, paying attention to details, and leaving outcomes to our Higher Power. Whether we want to learn a language, maintain healthy sobriety, or have satisfying relationships with our peers, the same combination of openness, consistent action, and surrender will bring good results.

Today, it's safe for me to be a beginner.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

[bluidkiti]

February 19

Anger is one of the many profound effects life has on us. It's one of our emotions. And we're going to feel it when it comes our way - or else repress it.

~Codependent No More

If I was working a good program, I wouldn't get angry…If I was a good Christian, I wouldn't feel angry…If I was really using my affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn't be angry…Those are old messages that seduce us into not feeling again. Anger is part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out, but we can't afford to ignore it.

In recovery, we learn we can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for what we do when we feel angry. We don't have to let anger control us, but it surely will if we prevent ourselves from feeling it.

Being grateful, being positive, being healthy, does not mean we never feel angry. Being grateful, positive, and healthy means we feel angry when we need to.

Today, I will let myself be angry, if I need to. I can feel and release my emotions, including anger, constructively. I will be grateful for my anger and the things it is trying to show me. I can feel and accept all my emotions without shame, and I can take responsibility for my actions.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

[bluidkiti]

February 20

The price of wisdom is above rubies.

~From Job 28:18

Our program is founded on wisdom, and the wisdom of the program is the light of our lives. It shines into the dark corners of the spirit where the myths lurk that would degrade rather than create, entrap rather than set free. Wisdom lets us see what and whose game is being played. Is it my game or yours? Not to know the difference is to dangle like a puppet from a set of strings hooked to head and limbs.

It may be a game of guilt, of taking responsibility for someone else's life, of accepting peace at any price - or any number of enslaving games. Without the wisdom of the program, how could we know? Without wisdom, how could we learn to give ourselves credit for how far we have come rather than berate ourselves for how slow we are moving? What a relief and a comfort to be able to rely on our wise Steps and Traditions for fail-safe guidance.

Today, I am grateful for the program’s teachings.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

[bluidkiti]

February 21

Change means movement, movement means friction, friction means heat, and heat means controversy.

~Saul Alinsky

We talk about wanting to change, to face up to our addiction, and our desire is real and genuine. But we must realize that change can continue to involve real pain for ourselves and others.

We were so comfortable for so long with our addiction! It had become our pacifier and our crutch. We wondered why we should bother to move forward and away from our world of ritual and fantasy and acting out.

But were we really at home there? What about our anger? Our remorse? Our feelings of hopelessness and despair? The shame that caused us to shun intimacy and touch? Were we truly comfortable? Has change been so harsh in comparison with the misery of our addiction? Even knowing there would be struggles and disagreements along the way, one day we cried, "Enough! I am powerless." We were ready, then, to face our struggles for a new, honest way of living.

I know that change will be hard, but I'm glad to join in the process of movement and growth that is life.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

[bluidkiti]

February 22

Backing Off

He has spent all his life letting down baskets into empty wells.

~Sydney Smith

We can always resist an argument where there is obviously no chance of either side solving a problem. Taking time to evaluate the situation will save us possible embarrassment and apologies.

We don't have to be winners in matters that are unimportant to spiritual progress. We have also learned that there is no disgrace in changing directions when one way won't work.

Of course, nobody wins by retreating from a confrontation, but aggressiveness is sure to be useless. Sometimes backing off is winning if nothing is to be gained by confrontation. We can often avoid another blow to the wounded dignity we brought into our program.

To avoid what is impossible to win doesn't make me a quitter.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

[bluidkiti]

February 23

Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them.

~Norman Vincent Peale

What does it mean to like other people? It means giving respect and attention to their opinions and perspectives on life. It means respecting their feelings, attitudes, and values without passing judgment or trying to control them. Clearly and simply, liking others means letting them be who they are and celebrating their individuality. Openly expressing fondness for a friend is affirming for both people. Our expressions are gifts that will multiply for us when we've been honest and unselfish, free from ulterior motives.

We all want to be liked. And we've heard many times that to have a friend, one must be a friend. It's a formula that takes only a simple decision each time we share with another.

My actions will determine whether I'm liked today.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

[bluidkiti]

February 24

Our inner journey is a transformative process. It involves becoming who we already are in essence and letting go of the phony in favor of the authentic self.

~Mary Norton Gordon

In years past, finding the right face to wear was our goal in any social situation. Quite likely we succeeded too. We were accomplished at reading the faces of others, discerning who we needed to be in order to please them. Our worth seemed dependent on pleasing them.

Recovery doesn't mean we stop pleasing others. Learning to love others unconditionally, thus inspiring joy in them, is a benefit of recovery. But pleasing ourselves is of utmost importance too, and we can feel good about ourselves only if we are living honest lives. That means wearing the face that matches who we really are inside.

Our lives become less confusing as we learn to reveal our true selves. When we stop trying to be the person we think others want us to be, we will find more time to simply love them for the person they are, and to love ourselves too.

I will please others simply by loving them as they are today. I can be honest and loving just being me.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

[bluidkiti]

February 25

The fearless are merely fearless. People who act in spite of their fear are truly brave.

~James A. LaFond-Lewis

Fear plays a role in our lives in different ways. Many of us have been so conditioned to deny fear that we don't even know we are afraid and are, in fact, reacting to it. We may look back on a major life choice and realize we chose one job over another because of fear. Some of us can see in the rearview mirror that our controlling ways rise out of fear, not desire for power. The fact is that until we allow ourselves to know our fears, we will react impulsively to them and cannot respond bravely to them.

Our fears don't give us a license to control those around us. Our fears don't make our addictive escapes any less harmful. On this path, we seek to know our fears, to call them by name so we can be smart in dealing with them. Sometimes we may use our fear as wise guidance to avoid danger, and other times we may choose to bravely step into the circle of our fear and face it down because we do not want to be irrationally ruled by it.

Today, I will open my eyes to see my fears and then choose wiser, braver responses to them.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

[bluidkiti]

February 26

AA Thought for the Day

I have learned to live one day at a time. I have finally realized the great fact that all I have is now. This sweeps away all vain regret and it makes my thoughts of the future free of fear. Now is mine. I can do what I want with it. I own it, for better or worse. What I do now, in this present moment, is what makes up my life. My whole life is only a succession of nows. I will take this moment, which has been given to me by the grace of God, and I will do something with it. What I do with each now will make me or break me. Am I living in the now?
Meditation for the Day

We should work at overcoming ourselves, our selfish desires and our self-centeredness. This can never be fully accomplished. We can never become entirely unselfish. But we can come to realize that we are not at the center of the universe and that everything does not revolve around us at the center. I am only one cell in a vast network of human cells. I can at least make the effort to conquer the self-life and seek daily to obtain more and more of this self-conquest. "He that overcomes himself is greater than he who conquers a city."
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may strive to overcome my selfishness. I pray that I may achieve the right perspective of my position in the world.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

[bluidkiti]

February 27

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear.

~Mark Twain

It is not unusual to feel afraid. It is unusual, however, to hear anyone admit to feeling afraid. Sometimes we think there are some people who are so cool and calm that they never feel afraid. This may make us think we're not as good because we know how often we feel afraid. This is why it is important to think about what courage really is. It is not the absence of fear. Courage is not letting fear stop us from doing what we need to do.

We might have to get up in front of a group to give a speech. We could give in to our fear and not give the speech, or we could admit our fear to those who love us, and then go ahead and do the best we can. To go ahead in the face of fear is courage.

What am I afraid of?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

[bluidkiti]

February 28

It's easier to speak of love than to practice it.

~Anonymous

Do we help our neighbor who is in need? We must help when we see the need, not just when it fits our schedule. In the program, this becomes our goal. We work at helping out. For example, when someone is needed to run the meeting, we offer. We see that the needs of the group are also our needs. We are the group.

Over time, the idea of service spreads to the rest of our lives. Maybe we help a family down the street. We start to see that we have something to offer the world: ourselves. We start to see that the needs of the world are also our needs. We are an important part of the world.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, make me quick to act when I see a need. Please don't let my fear stop me.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll list what I have to offer the world. I will think of two ways I can use these gifts my Higher Power has given me.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*