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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse. |
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09-12-2013, 11:20 AM | #1 |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 83
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Staying Out of the Middle
is a sign that we may have just stepped into the middle. We do not have to get caught in the middle of other people's issues, problems, or communication. We can let others take responsibility for themselves in their relationships. We can let them work out their issues with each other. Being a peacemaker does not mean we get in the middle. We are bearers of peace by staying peaceful ourselves and not harboring turmoil. We are peacemakers by not causing the extra chaos created when we get in the middle of other people's affairs and relationships. Don't get in the middle unless you want to be there. Today, I will refuse to accept any invitations to jump in the middle of other's affairs, issues, and relationships. I will trust others to work out their own affairs, including the ideas and feelings they want to communicate to each other. By Melody Beattie Last edited by MajestyJo; 12-26-2013 at 09:46 AM. |
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12-26-2013, 09:37 AM | #2 |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 15
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This is an old post, but I am sure glad I found it. What do you do if you did nothing to get in the middle, but someone accused (scapegoated) you, because you wrote a short reply to his wife's email. The alcoholic says "all communications go through me." (and I will decide what to tell my wife.) She continues to write and send pictures of our family. I just do not answer now, not wanting to be blamed for any problems that occur in the future. Thank you for your post.
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12-26-2013, 09:49 AM | #3 |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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Thank you for your post, love the dogs.
Thank you for sharing Icount. We don't have to feed into other people's stuff. We give up our power when we do.
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. |
12-30-2013, 08:14 AM | #4 |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 15
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Thank you Majesty Jo. Maybe I do need to change my name to "I Count;" and get some more assertiveness about me. It has been L Count, from my initials. Thank you for all your posts. I enjoy them so much, and I will remember just for today, not to feed in to all this family drama and chaos, because I am giving my power, my thoughts, goals, direction and everything to them. If I spent this much mental and emotional energy on my program....
Love and blessings of the season, Lisa |
12-30-2013, 12:11 PM | #5 | |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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Quote:
I identified so much with ACoA that I was glad that I had gone to AA first, because I would have continued playing the blame game and died.
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. |
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