Resentments - Power Posts

[bluidkiti]

"If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don't really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don't mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love." BB, 3rd & 4th edition, pp. 552

****************************

Twenty-Four Hours A Day - 11/7

A.A. Thought For The Day

I have lost many of my resentments. I have found that getting even with people doesn't
do any good. When we try to get revenge, instead of making us feel better, it leaves us
frustrated and cheated. Instead of punishing our enemies, we've only hurt our own peace
of mind. It does not pay to nurse a grudge, it hurts us more than anyone else. Hate causes
frustration, inner conflict, and neurosis. If we give out hate, we will become hateful. If we
are resentful, we will be resented. If we do not like people, we will not be liked by people.
Revengefulness is a powerful poison in our systems. Have I lost my resentments?

******************************

"Having a resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die."

*******************************-

As Bill Sees It

Dealing with Resentments, p. 39

Resentment is the Number One offender. It destroys more alcoholics
than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we
have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have also been
spiritually ill. When our spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out
mentally and physically.

In dealing with our resentments, we set them on paper. We listed
people, institutions, or principles with whom we were angry. We asked
ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our
self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships
(including sex) were hurt or threatened.

<< << << >> >> >>

"The most heated bit of letter-writing can be a wonderful safety
valve--providing the wastebasket is somewhere nearby."

1. Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 64-65
2. Letter, 1949



Let Go Of Resentments

Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things.
They convince us they're justified.
They can dry up our hearts.
They can sabotage our happiness.
They can sabotage love.

Most of us have been at the receiving end
of injustice at some time in our lives.
Most of us know someone who's
complained of an injustice we've done to him or her.
Life can be a breeding ground
for resentments, if we let it.

"Yes, but this time I really was wronged,
" we complained. Maybe you were.
But harboring a resentment isn't the solution.
If it was, our resentment list would resemble
the Los Angeles telephone directory.
Deal with your feelings.
Learn whatever lesson is at hand.
Then let the feelings go.

Resentments are a coping behavior,
a tool of someone settling for survival in life.
They're a form of revenge.
The problem is, no matter who we're resenting,
the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.

Take a moment.
Search your heart.
Have you tricked yourself
into harboring a resentment?
If you have, take another moment
and let that resentment go.

God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings.

Melody Beattie



Walk in dry places____Letting go of resentment.
Releasing the past.
How can we really put an end to festering resentments toward other people? "Pray for these people," the Old-timers said. "Go out of your way to do something good for them." This is a big order for most of us, but we are working for a big reward: Sobriety, peace of mind, and personal progress.
When we pray for others in this manner, we're practicing the noble art of forgiveness. How do we know when it's starting to work? Lewis Smedes, a master teacher of forgiveness, offers this thought: "You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.
Forgiveness also is supposed to include forgetting the wrong. What we really forget is the hurt connected with it. When anything that once evoked pain comes to mind, we're growing spiritually if it no longer has the power to hurt us.
We then discover that we had been letting our resentments hurt us again and again. We also learn that the one effort to forgive is not nearly enough. Forgiveness takes the same amount of practice and emotional power we put into carrying the resentment.
......................Today will bring enough problems. I don't have either the time or the energy to play the old tapes that cause me pain. I'll practice praying for those who hurt me, and I'll take it for granted that my Higher power is removing my resentments.


&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&


Walk in dry places______repeating the old hurt
serenity
It's been pointed out that the real meaning of resentment is to "re-feel" an old injury. This means that we let ourselves feel again the pain we had when we were previously wronged.
Common sense tells us that this is a foolish practice. But with emotions like resentment, common sense can be crowded out. It is a rare person who can avoid resentment about matters that caused deep injury. Resentment is so much a part of everyday life, in fact, that it's considered abnormal not to resent a real wrong.
We've also been conditioned to believe that we're being spineless and wimpy if we don't become outraged by certain injustices and wrongs. There's a difference, however, between feeling strongly that something is wrong and being sullen and resentful about it. The first kind of feeling helps us remedy the problem: the second feeling simply intensifies our hurt. Under no circumstances can we afford resentment.

....................I'll make this day resentment=free, despite the currents of feeling and bitterness around me. "Re-feeling" old injuries is not the way to the happier life I seek.


&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&


AA Thought for the Day
(courtesy AAOnline.net)
May 26, 2004

Resentment
This business of resentment is infinitely grave.
We found that it is fatal.
For when harboring such feelings
we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit.
The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again.
And with us, to drink is to die.
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.
c. 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 66.
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
^*^**^*^
Thought to Ponder . . .
Resentment is like taking poison
and waiting for the other person to die.
* * *
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A N G E R = A Negative Grudge Endangers Recovery.


&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&


Walk in dry places______Civilians who show resentment
Healthy Thinking
As compulsive people, we're urged to watch resentments carefully. These negative feelings can flare up out of nowhere and bring terrible destruction.
This sensitivity in spotting our own resentments also makes us more aware of resentments in others..... perhaps people who are not alcoholic and thus are considered "normal."
When this happens, we have no responsibility to point their resentment out to them. Our best approach is to deal with them as cordially as possible and to withdraw gracefully if their resentment is a universal human problem........ not just an affliction of alcoholics and other compulsive people.

..............While guarding against resentment in myself today, I'll not be surprised or hurt when it appears in others. If it does, I will not feel hurt or surprised, knowing that it's a human problem.


&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&


AA Thought for the Day
September 30, 2004

Resentment

This business of resentment is infinitely grave.
We found that it is fatal.
For when harboring such feelings
we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit.
The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again.
And with us, to drink is to die.
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 66, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

Thought to Ponder....

Resentment is like taking poison
and waiting for the other person to die.
Recovery Related Acronym

A A = Attitude Adjustment.


&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&


Pray For Those you Resent

My favorite story about praying for those I resent
is one I told in Playing It by Heart.
Here it is again:

Years ago, when I spotted the Stillwater gazette, the oldest family -
owned daily newspaper in existence, I knew I wanted to work there.
I could feel it - in my bones and in my heart.
When I went in to the offices to apply
for the job, however, the owner didn't
have the same feeling I did.
He had an for a reporter,
but he wanted to hire someone else.
Abigail, he said, was the right one for this job.

I prayed for Abigail every day.
I asked God to take care of her, guide her,
and bless her richly and abundantly.
I prayed for her because that's what I had been taught to do -
pray for those your resent.
Sometimes I prayed for her three or four times each day.
I prayed for her this much because I resented her that much.

God, I hated Abigail.

For the next months, almost half a year,
I tromped down to the Gazette once a week,
begging to be hired.
Finally, I got a job there.
But it wasn't the one I wanted.
Abigail, bless her heart, had mine.

She got the best story assignments.
She worked so quickly and
with such journalistic ease.

So I kept praying, "God bless Abigail," because that's all I knew to do.

Over months, as I got my lesser assignments from the editor -
lesser than Abigail's, that is - I began
to watch her work.
She wrote quickly and efficiently.
Got right to the point.
She was a good interviewer, too.
I started pushing myself to write better,
and more quickly.
If Abigail can do it, so can I, I told myself.
My enemy began to inspire me.
Over the weeks and months that transpired,
I spent more and more time around Abigail.
I listened to her talk. I listened to her stories.
Slowly, my enemy became my friend.

One day, Abigail and I were having coffee.
I looked at her, looked straight in her eyes.
And suddenly I realized,
I didn't hate Abigail anymore.
She was doing her job. I was doing mine.

Soon, I got an offer from a publisher to write a book.
I was glad I didn't have Abigail's job;
I wouldn't have had time to write that book.
Then one day in June 1987, that book hit the New Your Times best-seller list.

Years later, I wrote the story about Abigail in
Playing It by Heart.
The book got published.
I returned to Minnesota to do a book signing.
I was in the bookstore's bathroom,
washing my hands, when a woman approached me.

"Hi Melody," she said. I looked at her, confused.
"It's Abigail," she said.
Abigail wasn't her real name; it was a name
I had given her in the story.
But with those words, I realized
she had read the story.
She knew she was Abigail,
and she knew how I once felt.

We joked about it for a few moments.
I asked her how her life was.
She said she had quit writing and had
became a wife and mother.
I said I was still writing, and my years as a wife
and mother were for the most part over.

Resentments are such silly little things.
Envy is silly, too.
But those silly little things can
eat away at our hearts.
Sometimes, people are put in our lives
to teach us about what we're capable of.
Sometimes, the people we perceive as enemies
are really our friends.
Is there someone in your life you're spending energy
feeling envious of or resentful toward?
Could that person be there to teach you
something about yourself that you don't know
or to inspire you along your path?
You'll not know the answer to that question until
you get the envy and resentment out of your heart.

God, thank you for the people I resent and envy. Bless them richly.
Open doors for them, shower them with abundance. Help me know
that my success doesn't depend on their failure; it's equivalent to
how much I ask you to bless them.

Melody Beattie


&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&


Never does the human soul
appear so strong as when it
forgoes revenge, and dares forgive
an injury.
--E.H. Chapin

When something or someone makes us angry and we deny it or ignore it, the anger can become resentment. Resentments hurt us because they make us suffer. They make us angry, negative, and short-tempered.

The key to preventing resentments is to start expressing our feelings either verbally or in writing. We do this not to change the other person, but to unload from ourselves the poison of resentment. We can let go of it. We can be grateful that as we empty ourselves of negative things, the space will be filled with positive.

Today let me express my feelings in a way that feels safe and then turn them over to my Higher Power.


&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&


AA Thought for the Day
(courtesy AAOnline.net)

December 22, 2004

Resentment

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment
leads only to futility and unhappiness. . .
But with the alcoholic,
this business of resentment is infinitely grave.
We found that it is fatal.
For when harboring such feelings
we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit.
The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again.
And with us, to drink is to die.
c. 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 66
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.





Thought to Ponder . . .

Resentment is like acid,
eating away at the vessel it is stored in.


AA-related 'Alconym' . . .

Q T I P = Quit Taking It Personally.

[bluidkiti]

Let go of resentments

Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they're justified. They can dry up our hearts. They can sabotage our happiness. They can sabotage love.

Most of us have been at the receiving end of an injustice at some time in our lives. Most of us know someone who's complained of an injustice we've done to him or her. Life can be a breeding ground for resentments, if we let it.

"Yes, but this time I really was wronged," we complain.

Maybe you were. But harboring a resentment isn't the solution. If it was, our resentment list would resemble the Los Angeles telephone directory. Deal with your feelings. Learn whatever lesson is at hand. Then let the feelings go.

Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They're a form or revenge. The problem is, no matter who we're resenting, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.

Take a moment. Search your heart. Have you tricked yourself into harboring a resentment? If you have, take another moment and let that resentment go.

God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Resentment Triggers
1. Ambition
2. Fear
3. Financial security
4. Physical security
5. Personal relationship
6. Pride
7. Self esteem
8. Sex relations
9. Health
10. Sense of justice
http://www.sober.org/Prospect.html

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The road to resentment is paved with expectations.

[bluidkiti]

Are Resentments Justified?
by Dr Wayne W. Dyer

You hear people say this all the time: "I have a right to be upset because of the way I've been treated. I have a right to be angry, hurt, depressed, sad, and resentful." Learning to avoid this kind of thinking is one of my top ten secrets for living a life of inner peace, success, and happiness. Anytime you're filled with resentment, you're turning the controls of your emotional life over to others to manipulate.

I became aware of how powerful this lesson was many years ago while sitting in on a meeting of 12 people who were in a recovery group for alcoholism and drug addiction. All 12 of those people were accustomed to blaming others for their weaknesses, using almost any excuse as a rationale for returning to their self-defeating ways. On a poster hanging in the room were these words: "In this group, there are no justified resentments."

Regardless of what anyone would say to another group member, no matter how confrontational or ugly the accusations, each person was reminded that there are no justified resentments. You may need to consider whom you resent before you can make your own choice about whether this is useful for you. Resentments give you an excuse to return to your old ways. This is what got you there in the first place!

Why Resentments Are There

You may be familiar with a popular television show called Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? If the contestant answers 15 multiple-choice questions, he or she wins a million dollars. Starting with a $100 question, the person in the "hot seat" answers five questions until reaching the $1,000 level. At this point, the person is guaranteed to leave with something. Then the questions increase in difficulty. If the contestant reaches $32,000, again, there is a guarantee of leaving with that amount. So, there are two crucial levels to attain: the $1,000 level, which is achieved by answering five relatively simple questions; and the $32,000 level, which involves five increasingly difficult questions.

I've just related details about this TV program to present the idea of the two levels that you must achieve in order to have a chance at the highest "million-dollar" level of awareness. The $1,000 level is one in which you learn to leave blame behind in your life. If you don't do so, you go home with nothing

Removing blame means never assigning responsibility to anyone for what you're experiencing. Why do this: If you take responsibility for having it, then at least you have a chance to also take responsibility for removing it or learning from it. If you're in some small (perhaps unknown) way responsible for that migraine headache or that depressed feeling, then you can go to work to remove it or discover what its message is for you.

If, on the other hand, someone or something else is responsible in your mind, then of course you'll have to wait until they change for you to get better. And that is unlikely to occur. So, at the $1,000 level, blame has to go. Otherwise you go home with nothing and are unable to participate at the higher levels.

You must be willing to pass a new test at the second critical level, the $32,000 question, which is the final obstacle you must face in order to move into the more exalted realm of self-actualization and higher consciousness, the million-dollar spiritual level. At this level, you must be willing to send the higher, faster energies of love, peace, joy, forgiveness, and kindness as your response to whatever comes your way. This is the start of the uncrowded extra mile where you have only love to give away.

Someone says something to you that you find offensive, and rather than opting for resentment, you are able to depersonalize what you've just heard and respond with kindness. You would rather be kind than right. You have no need to make others wrong or to retaliate when you've been wronged. You do this for yourself.

There is a Chinese proverb, "If you're going to pursue revenge, you'd better dig two graves." Your resentments will destroy you. They are low energies. And along the extra mile, you'll only meet others who have fully grasped this concept. The ones who haven't made it to this level are all back with the crowd who went out of the game long ago on an easier question, and most are still back there wondering why they keep going home with nothing! But I can assure you that they continue to blame others for their emptiness.

First, you have to get past blame. Then you have to learn to send love to all, rather than anger and resentment. The story is told of the enlightened master who always responded to outbursts of criticism, judgment, and ridicule with love, kindness, and peace. One of his devotees asked him how he could possibly be so kind and peaceful in the face of such disparaging invective. His response to the devotee was this question: "If someone offers you a gift, and you do not accept that gift, to whom does the gift belong?" The answer leads you to the extra mile. Ask yourself "Why would I allow something that belongs to someone else to be a source of my resentment?" As the title of a popular book says, "What You Think Of Me Is None Of My Business."

Stop Looking for Occasions to Be Offended

When you live at or below ordinary levels of awareness, you spend a great deal of time and energy finding opportunities to be offended. A news report, an economic downturn, a rude stranger, a fashion miscue, someone cursing, a sneeze, a black cloud, any cloud, an absence of clouds -- just about anything will do if you're looking for an occasion to be offended. Along the extra mile, you'll never find anyone engaging in such absurdities. Become a person who refuses to be offended by any one, any thing, or any set of circumstances. If something takes place and you disapprove, by all means state what you feel from your heart; and if possible, work to eliminate it and then let it go.

Most people operate from the ego and really need to be right. So, When you encounter someone saying things that you find inappropriate, or when you know they're wrong, wrong, wrong, forget your need to be right and instead say, "You're right about that!" Those swords will end potential conflict and free you from being offended. Your desire is to be peaceful -- not to be right, hurt, angry, or resentful. If you have enough faith in your own beliefs, you'll find that it's impossible to be offended by the beliefs and conduct of others.

Not being offended is a way of saying, "I have control over how I'm going to feel, and I choose to feel peaceful regardless of what I observe going on." When you feel offended, you're practicing judgment. You judge someone else to be stupid, insensitive, rude, arrogant, inconsiderate, or foolish, and then you find yourself upset and offended by their conduct. What you may not realize is that when you judge another person, you do not define them. You define yourself as someone who needs to judge others.

Just as no one can define you with their judgments, neither do you have the privilege of defining others. When you stop judging and simply become an observer, you will know the inner peace I'm writing about here. With that sense of inner peace, you'll find yourself free of the negative energy of resentment, and you'll be able to live a life of contentment. A bonus is that you'll find that others are much more attracted to you. A peaceful person attracts peaceful energy.

Not being offended will mean eliminating all variations of the following sentence from your repertoire of available thoughts: "If only you were more like me, then I wouldn't have to be upset right now." You are the way you are, and so are those around you. Most likely they will never be just like you. So stop expecting those who are different to be what you think they should be. It's never going to happen.

It's your ego that demands that the world and all the people in it be as you think they should be. Your higher sacred self refuses to be anything but peaceful, and sees the world as it is, not as your ego would like it to be. When you respond with hatred to hate directed at you, you've become part of the problem, which is hatred, rather than part of the solution, which is love. Love is without resentment and readily offers forgiveness. Love and forgiveness will inspire you to work at what you are for, rather than what you are against. If you're against violence and hatred, you'll fight it with your own brand of violence and hatred. If you're for love and peace, you'll bring those energies to the presence of violence, and ultimately dissolve the hatred.

When Mother Teresa was asked to march against the war in Vietnam, she replied, "No, I won't but when you have a march for peace, I'll be there."

A Final Word about Forgiveness and Resentment

At the root of virtually all spiritual practices is the notion of forgiveness. This was what came out of Jesus of Nazareth while he was being tortured on a cross by a Roman soldier throwing a spear into his side. It is perhaps the most healing thing that you can do to remove the low energies of resentment and revenge from your life completely.

Think about every single person who has ever harmed you, cheated you, defrauded you, or said unkind things about you. Your experience of them is nothing more than a thought that you carry around with you. These thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that will disempower you. If you could release them, you would know more peace.

You practice forgiveness for two reasons. One is to let others know that you no longer wish to be in a state of hostility with that person; and two, to free yourself from the self-defeating energy of resentment. Resentment is like venom that continues to pour through your system, doing its poisonous damage long after being bitten by the snake. It's not the bite that kills you; it's the venom. You can remove venom by making a decision to let go of resentments. Send love in some form to those you feel have wronged you and notice how much better you feel, how much more peace you have. It was one act of profound forgiveness toward my own father, whom I never saw or talked to, that turned my life around from one of ordinary awareness, to one of higher consciousness, achievement, and success beyond anything I had ever dared to imagine.

Indeed, there are no justified resentments if you wish to walk along the extra mile and enjoy inner peace and success on every step of the path.

This article is excerpted from 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace, ?2001, by Wayne W. Dyer. Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Hay House Inc. www.hayhouse.com
http://www.innerself.com/Behavior_M...n/dyer03273.htm


Take what you need and leave the rest.
Nothing changes if Nothing Changes

[bluidkiti]

From: Keep It Simple

Pray without resentment in your heart. ---The Little Red Book

Resentment is anger that we don't want to turn over to our Higher Power.
Sometimes we want to keep our anger. Maybe we want to "get even." it's hard to be spiritual and full of anger at the same time. When we hold on to anger, it turns into self-will. We get angry from time to time. This is normal. But we now have a program to help us let go of anger. We also know that stored-up anger can drive us back to alcohol and other drugs. Instead of trying to "get even," let's work at keeping anger out of our hearts.

Prayer for the Day
I pray without anger in my heart. Higher Power, I give You my anger. Have me work for justice, instead of acting like a judge.

Action For the Day
I'll list any resentments I now have. I'll talk about them at my next
meeting. This is the best way to turn resentments over to my Higher Power.

**********************************

Letting Go of Resentments

The story is told of a merchant in a small town who had identical twin sons. The boys worked for their father in the department store he owned and, when he died, they took over the store.

Everything went well until the day a dollar bill disappeared. One of the brothers had left the bill on the cash register and walked outside with a customer. When he returned, the money was gone.

He asked his brother, “Did you see that dollar bill on the cash register?” His brother replied that he had not. But the young man kept probing and questioning. He would not let it alone. “Dollar bills just don’t get up and walk away! Surely you must have seen it!” There was subtle accusation in his voice. Tempers began to rise. Resentment set in. Before long, a deep and bitter chasm divided the young men. They refused to speak. They finally decided they could no longer work together and a dividing wall was built down the center of the store. For twenty years hostility and bitterness grew, spreading to their families and to the community.

Then one day a man in an automobile licensed in another state stopped in front of the store. He walked in and asked the clerk, “How long have you been here?”

The clerk replied that he’d been there all his life. The customer said, “I must share something with you. Twenty years ago I was “riding the rails” and came into this town in a boxcar. I hadn’t eaten for three days. I came into this store from the back door and saw a dollar bill on the cash register. I put it in my pocket and walked out. All these years I haven’t been able to forget that. I know it wasn’t much money, but I had to come back and ask your forgiveness.”

The stranger was amazed to see tears well up in the eyes of this middle- aged man. “Would you please go next door and tell that same story to the man in the store?” he said. Then the man was even more amazed to see two middle-aged men, who looked very much alike, embracing each other and weeping together in the front of the store.

After twenty years, the brokenness was mended. The wall of resentment that divided them came down.

It is so often the little things that finally divide people- words spoken in haste; criticisms; accusations; resentments. And once divided, they may never come together again.

The solution, of course, is to let it go. There is really nothing particularly profound about learning to let go of little resentments. But for fulfilling and lasting relationships, letting them go is a must. Refuse to carry around bitterness and you may be surprised at how much energy you have left for building bonds with those you love.

Received in email

***************************

Resentments are like pissing on your own leg,
you are the only one who feels it,
and everyone else sees it.

***************************

DAYS OF HEALING DAYS OF JOY
? APRIL 14 ?

They may not deserve forgiveness, but I do.
-AnneP.

Forgiveness is an act, not a feeling. Though it may generate feelings, forgiveness is an exercise of the will.
When we forgive, we refuse to be further damaged by the wrongdoing of others.

A refusal to forgive is called a resentment. And the victim of resentment is always the one who carries it.
The people we refuse to forgive may neither know nor care about our resentment.

To hang on to a resentment is to harbor a thief in the heart. By the minute and the hour, resentment steals the joy we could treasure now and remember forever. It pilfers our energy to celebrate life-to face others as messengers of grace rather than ambassadors of doom. We victimize ourselves when we withhold forgiveness.

Today, I win remember that forgiveness is a giver and resentment is a taker. Because I deserve it, I win forgive old hurts. I will see forgiveness as a gift to myself.

****************************

"Hanging onto resentment is like letting someone you despise live rent-free
in your head." - Ann Landers

***************************

You are reading from the book Food for Thought.

Resentments

When we hang on to resentments, we poison ourselves. As compulsive overeaters, we cannot afford resentment, since it exacerbates our disease. If we do not get rid of our anger and bitterness, we will suffer more than anyone. Seeking revenge will harm ourselves in the long run.

Many of us have carried around old grudges which caused us to reach for food when we thought about them. We don't need the food and we don't need the grudges, either. When we give away the resentments, we are that much lighter in body and in spirit. Now that we have found OA, we have a way to get rid of the animosity and indignation which has been poisoning our system.

Taking inventory and making amends is an essential part of burying resentments. We need to first be consciously aware of them before we can give them away. These steps usually need to be taken again and again as negative material threatens our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Take away my resentments, Lord.

*************************

A resentment is like pissing on your own leg,
everyone else sees it
and your the only one who feels it.


Resentment is from the Latin,
meaning to "feel again."


When someone's living inside your head,
you are out of your mind.


Resentment is a cup of poison
we pour for our enemy
and drink ourselves.

**************************

Walk In Dry Places

When Resentment Returns
Inventory

It's surprising enough and even humiliating to find an old resentment flaring up, sometimes years after we thought it had been put to rest. When that happens, we wonder how thorough we really were in releasing the resentment in the first place.
The secret of handling this problem is to turn the old resentment over to our Higher Power without wasting time wondering why it came up again. We need to deal with it as if it were a brand-new problem,; and in a sense, it is.
As for questioning our past sincerity, that too is a waste of time. We are always trying to do our best with the understanding we have for each day. Being too hard on ourselves does not make it easier to practice our program. Resentments can and do return but they don't have to destroy us.

I'll realize today that I'am always susceptible to any of my ongoing problems, including resentment. Fortunately, I have my program for dealing with them when they occur.

*********************************

On the slope of Long's Peak in Colorado lies the ruin of a gigantic tree.
Naturalists tell us that it stood for some four hundred years. It was a
seedling when Columbus landed at San Salvador, and half grown when the
Pilgrims settled at Plymouth. During the course of its long life it was
struck by lightning fourteen times, and the innumerable avalanches and
storms of four centuries thundered past it. It survived them all. In the
end, however, and army of beetles attacked the tree and leveled it to the
ground. The insects ate their way through the bark and gradually destroyed
the inner strength of the tree by their tiny but incessant attacks. A
forest giant, which age had not withered, not lightening blasted, nor storms
subdued, fell at last before beetles so small that a man could crush them
between his forefinger and his thumb. Aren't we like that battling giant of
the forest? Don't we manage somehow to survive the rare storms and
avalanches and lightning blasts of life, only to let our hearts be eaten out
by resentments?

A.S.A.P.

[bluidkiti]

RESENTMENT INVENTORY PROMPT SHEET

A partial list of people, institutions and principles that may be helpful in
your resentment inventory.
PEOPLE
INSTITUTIONS
PRINCIPLES
Father
Mother
Sisters
Brothers
Grandfather
Grandmother
Aunts
Uncles
Cousins
Clergy
Police
Lawyers
Judges
Doctors
Employers
Employees
Co-Workers
In-Laws
Husbands
Wives
Creditors
Childhood Friends
School Friends
Teachers
Life Long Friends
Best Friends
Acquaintances
"Bible-Thumpers"
Girl Friends
Boy Friends
Parole Officers
Probation Officers
A.A. Friends
Friends in the Military
Marriage
Church
Religion
Races
Law
Authority
Government
Education System
Hospitals
Health Care System
Correctional System
Mental Health Sys.
Welfare
Philosophy
Nationality
Rehabs
Mental Institutions
I.R.S.
God (or any Deity)
Bible
Retribution
Ten Commandments
Satan
Death
Life after death
Heaven
he!!
Sin
Adultery
Golden Rule
Original Sin
Seven Deadly Sins
Love, honor, obey
Reciprocity Theory
Twelve Steps
Twelve Traditions
Twelve Concepts
"Do unto others..."
"Love thy neighbor"
"Don't put off until tomorrow..."
Old guiding sayings

Received in email

[bluidkiti]

Resentments

I choose repeatedly to swell to anger and hurt,
I allow myself to mull it over,
And over
And over
Though the act of pain is done, I am not finished with it.
IT IS MINE AND I KEEP IT.
But it is unhealthy,
It keeps me sick
I push God away with it.
I must embrace Him,
I will choose to allow Him the hurt,
To give Him the pain,
I will allow the ultimate surgeon to open the wound,
For He will perform the healing.
He will always give me life anew.
As He cleansed the lepers He will cleanse me.
He will make me new again,
I will accept His gift of comfort,
His peace!
His Love,
His serenity.
For I will become willing to give it all to Him,
To lock it away for His safe keeping,
Not allowing IT to invade my very being,
For I am His,
And today He is mine
IT no longer belongs to me,
For I have let it go,
So I may make the choice to GROW!!!

written by ~ Patti Kelli

[bluidkiti]

The human heart in its perversity finds it hard to escape hatred and revenge.
--Moses Luzzatto

This program promises many rewards for those who follow it, but it does not promise to be easy. We search our conscience for resentments and face them. None of us can progress in our recovery while holding onto resentments, old angers, and hatreds. When we hold them, we protect dark corners of our souls from the renewal we need. As we allow ourselves to be made new through this program, we no longer reserve those small corners for the game of power and resentment. They will eventually consume us and justify in our minds a return to the old patterns.

Nothing can be held back. We must be willing to surrender all - even if we do not know how. No one can stop being resentful simply by deciding to stop. When we are willing to be honest, to be humble, to be learners, to be led in a constructive direction, to allow time to be guided rather than seek instant cure, then we will learn trust and will surely make progress.

I do not need to know exactly how to let go of my resentments or what will happen after I do. I simply must be ready to let them go.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]