If You Can’t Say Something Nice - Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums

bluidkiti · 01-11-2014, 10:31 AM

If You Can’t Say Something Nice . . .

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Say an Encouraging Word

Saturday morning chores tend to bring out the worst in my girls. Take one Saturday at our home for example. Melanie was at the table cleaning up the breakfast dishes and loudly singing to her favorite CD. Stephanie, who was folding clothes in the kitchen, countered Melanie’s excessive volume by singing a different song – only louder. Elizabeth, who tolerates little when her hands are in dishwater, told them both to shut their mouths.
Her comment triggered a triangle of ugly putdowns and criticisms that didn’t stop until I entered the room to referee. Like generations of mothers before me, I reprimanded, “If you can’t say something nice . . .”
“ . . . don’t say anything at all,” they finished.
This over used theory may be easy to recite, but it’s obviously difficult to do. How easy it is to be critical instead of kind, to comment on the negative instead of emphasizing the positive, and to tear down rather than to build up.
There is no second-guessing what God’s plans for our words are. He makes it very clear in, Ephesians 4:29, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
When your sister borrows your bike without asking is your immediate response to tear her up or talk to her about it? When a friend says something bad about you, is your immediate response to call other friends and gossip about the situation or call the person who hurt you and see what you can do to be friends again?
Our words destroy and tear others down when they’re born out of an angry, knee-jerk reaction. Our words encourage and bless when they are obedient to God’s command that we build others up!
Think about the words that you use. Do you say hurtful things? Are ALL your words helpful in building others up? Are your conversations critical and cutting, or gentle and grace filled?
You know how your mom wishes you would talk. Think about how God wants you to talk! If you can’t something nice . . . say an encouraging word!

Today’s Prayer:
Father God, thank You for Your love for me. Help me to use words to encourage and build others up according to their needs. Forgive me when my words are cutting, sarcastic, or disrespectful. I only want to speak words that please You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
By Lenae Bulthuis

MajestyJo · 01-11-2014, 06:39 PM

Remember my mother saying, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." For many years, I felt like I had to justify my reason for being and felt like I had to fill up the silence with words. More often than not, they came off the cuff, from the seat of my pants, or off the top of my head, instead of from the heart.

Quote:

Trying to pray is praying.
--Anonymous

"Oh, God, help me! If you get me out of this mess, I'll never screw up again." This was our favorite prayer before we entered the Program. We were always bargaining with God.

We have learned new prayers and a new way to talk and listen to our Higher Power. We are seeking God's will for us. Many of us had to learn how to pray. We began with very simple prayers: "Thank you, God, for helping me today."

We learn that prayer helps us with our faulty dependence on people, places, and things by giving us the insight and strength to rearrange our priorities. Prayer doesn't change God, but it changes those who pray.

Today in my prayers, I will seek my Higher Power's will for me. I no longer bargain with God.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

I pray for the willingness to pray for the willingness to pray. I pray for the words and thought I need to get through my day.
I pray that my actions show that my prayers are answered, and my God supplies the good orderly direction I need to live clean and sober daily.

Love this! Have prayed the prayer of the desperate! Most times, it is just a simple "Help!"

I am sure that God doesn't mind what words we use, it is our attitude, motive and intent behind them that counts.

As the last line says, God is never changing, but we can and do when we align our will with His.

01-11-2014, 10:31 AM	#1
bluidkiti Administrator Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 73,841	If You Can’t Say Something Nice If You Can’t Say Something Nice . . . Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Say an Encouraging Word Saturday morning chores tend to bring out the worst in my girls. Take one Saturday at our home for example. Melanie was at the table cleaning up the breakfast dishes and loudly singing to her favorite CD. Stephanie, who was folding clothes in the kitchen, countered Melanie’s excessive volume by singing a different song – only louder. Elizabeth, who tolerates little when her hands are in dishwater, told them both to shut their mouths. Her comment triggered a triangle of ugly putdowns and criticisms that didn’t stop until I entered the room to referee. Like generations of mothers before me, I reprimanded, “If you can’t say something nice . . .” “ . . . don’t say anything at all,” they finished. This over used theory may be easy to recite, but it’s obviously difficult to do. How easy it is to be critical instead of kind, to comment on the negative instead of emphasizing the positive, and to tear down rather than to build up. There is no second-guessing what God’s plans for our words are. He makes it very clear in, Ephesians 4:29, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. When your sister borrows your bike without asking is your immediate response to tear her up or talk to her about it? When a friend says something bad about you, is your immediate response to call other friends and gossip about the situation or call the person who hurt you and see what you can do to be friends again? Our words destroy and tear others down when they’re born out of an angry, knee-jerk reaction. Our words encourage and bless when they are obedient to God’s command that we build others up! Think about the words that you use. Do you say hurtful things? Are ALL your words helpful in building others up? Are your conversations critical and cutting, or gentle and grace filled? You know how your mom wishes you would talk. Think about how God wants you to talk! If you can’t something nice . . . say an encouraging word! Today’s Prayer: Father God, thank You for Your love for me. Help me to use words to encourage and build others up according to their needs. Forgive me when my words are cutting, sarcastic, or disrespectful. I only want to speak words that please You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. By Lenae Bulthuis __________________ "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)