Questions and Answers on Sponsorship

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QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ON SPONSORSHIP

A.A. PAMPHLET P-15



Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

page 2, paragraph 4

Alcoholics Anonymous began with sponsorship. When Bill W., only a few months sober, was stricken with a powerful urge to drink, this thought came to him: "You need another alcoholic to talk to. You need another alcoholic just as much as he needs you!"

He found Dr. Bob who had been trying desperately and unsuccessfully too stop drinking, and out of their common need A.A. was born. The word "sponsor" was not used then; the Twelve Steps had not been written; but Bill carried the message to Dr. Bob, who in turn safeguarded his own sobriety by sponsoring countless other alcoholics. Through sharing, both of the co-founders discovered, their own sober lives could be enriched beyond measure.

page 7, paragraph 1

In A.A., sponsor and sponsored meet as equals, just as Bill and Dr. Bob did. Essentially, the process of sponsorship is this: An alcoholic who has made some progress in the recovery program shares that experience on a continuous, individual basis with another alcoholic who is attempting to attain or maintain sobriety through A.A.

page 7, paragraph 4

So we select an A.A. member with whom we an feel comfortable, someone with whom we can talk freely and confidentially, and we ask that person to be our sponsor.

page 7, paragraph 6

We know from experience that our own sobriety is greatly strengthened when we give it away!

page 8, paragraph 1, line 7

Sponsorship responsibility is unwritten and informal, but it is a basic part of the A.A. approach to recovery from alcoholism through the Twelve Steps.

page 8, paragraph 3

A Twelfth Step call--visiting an alcoholic who has asked for help and talking about the A.A. program with him or her--may become the beginning of sponsorship, but by itself it is not necessary sponsorship.

Sponsorship, with its continuing interest in another alcoholic, often develops when the second person is willing to be helped, admits having a drinking problem, and decides to seek a way out of the trap.

Sponsorship is Twelve Step work, but it is also continuing responsibility for helping a newcomer adjust to a way of life without alcohol.

page 8, paragraph 5

Sponsorship gives the newcomer an understanding, sympathetic friend when one is needed most. Sponsorship also provides the bridge enabling the new person to meet other alcoholics--in a home group and in other groups visited.

page 9, paragraph 3, line 5

There are no specific rules, but a good sponsor probably should be a year or more away from the last drink--and should seem to be enjoying sobriety.

page 9, paragraph 5, line 5

A.A. experience does suggest that is best for men to sponsor men, women to sponsor women.

page 10, paragraph 1

An A.A. sponsor does not provide any such services as those offered by a social worker, a doctor, a nurse, or a marriage counselor. A sponsor is simply a sober alcoholic who helps the newcomer solve one problem: how to stay sober.

And it is not professional training that enables a sponsor to give help--it is just personal experience and observation.

page 10, paragraph 2

If the sponsor's ideas sound strange or unclear, the newcomer had better speak up and ask questions. Theirs is supposed to be an easy, open relationship, in which both parties talk freely and honestly with each other.

The A.A. program is simple, but it didn't seem that way to many of us at first.

page 10, paragraph 4

It is the whole A.A. program--not the individual's sponsor--that maintains the newcomer's sobriety. Sponsorship is just the best way we know of introducing a newcomer to that program.

page 11, paragraph 1

The newcomer with more than one sponsor shares in a wide range of experience and hears a great variety of ways to use the A.A. program.

page 11, paragraph 3, line 3

...learning about alcoholism in an institutional setting is one thing, and functioning as a sober alcoholic in a drinking world in quite another,...

page 12, paragraph 1, line 3

Learning about the A.A. program is not the same as living it.

page 12, paragraph 2

...the sponsor's personal experience can enable the newcomer to find guidance in applying A.A. principles to everyday life...

page 12, paragraph 2, line 6

Sponsorship strengthens the older member's sobriety. The act of sharing sobriety makes it easier for a member to live without alcohol. By helping others, alcoholics find that they help themselves.

Sponsorship also offers the satisfaction that comes from assuming responsibility for someone other than oneself. In a very real sense, it fills the need, felt by most human beings, to help others over rough spots.

page 13, paragraph 2

The most successful sponsors are men and women who have been in A.A. long enough to have some understanding of the suggested recovery program outlined in the Twelve Steps.

page 14, paragraph 1

...the sponsor encourages the newcomer to work with other alcoholics as soon as possible,...

page 15, paragraph 10

...the newcomer learns to lean on the program, not on the sponsor.

page 15, paragraph 11, line 4

The experienced sponsor recognizes the importance of flexibility in working with newcomers, does not rely on a single approach, and may try a number of different approaches with the same person.

page 16, paragraph 2, line 3

Many sponsors make sure to tell the new arrival that A.A. has one primary purpose--to help them both keep away from that first drink. They remind the newcomer that the First Step--recognizing that one has a problem--is a key part of recovery.

These sponsors remind the newcomer that A.A. offers a practical program, and that it has already helped more than a million men and women. They suggest the need for open-mindedness in facing alcoholism as a personal problem, and they underscore the fact that it is up to the newcomer alone to decide whether he or she is an alcoholic and whether A.A. can help.

page 16, paragraph 6

...no one speaks for A.A. and that every member is perfectly free to arrive at an individual understanding of the program.

page 16, paragraph 8, line 4

...hospitalization is not part of the A.A. program and that a doctor, not a sponsor, is the person who should say whether it is required.

page 17, paragraph 3, line 2

The Al-Anon program parallels A.A.'s but Al-Alon is an entirely separate fellowship. It helps relatives of problem drinkers to understand the illness and its effects on family life. In Alateen--a part of Al-Alon--teenagers who have alcoholic parents share their own experiences.

page 19, paragraph 3

...A.A. has a single purpose: to help alcoholics with their drinking problem. A.A. is not a philanthropic or job-finding society.

page 19, paragraph 5, line 3

...there is known cure for alcoholism but it can be arrested.

page 20, paragraph 5, line 4

The most effective sponsor recognize that alcoholics who join A.A. must eventually stand on their own feet and make their own decisions--and that there is a difference between helping people to their feet and insisting on holding them up thereafter.

page 21, paragraph 3, line 8

...we stay sober through reliance on the A.A. program, not on any one member.

page 22, paragraph 2, line 9

...the newcomer may have achieved enough inner strength without realizing it, and can how go on to the next stage, substitute other kinds of A.A. friendship for sponsorship, start working the program in his or her own way, and take on personal responsibility in everyday life.

page 22, paragraph 4, line 2

Sponsorship is a flexible venture,...

page 23, paragraph 1, line 6

...sponsorship does not mean forcing any specific interpretation of A.A. upon newcomers.

page 23, paragraph 2, line 2

Regarded realistically, the slip can become a learning experience.

page 24, paragraph 4

...good sponsors emphasize to returning newcomers that people who have slipped continue to be welcome in A.A.

page 25, paragraph 1

Usually the relationship does not really end at any definite point. Without any discussion, it just changes gradually...

page 25, paragraph 4

A successful sponsor-newcomer partnership is a special sort of bond, remembered gratefully on each side, even in the two no longer are close.

page 25, paragraph 4

The primary purpose of an A.A. group it to carry the message of the recovery program of alcoholics who want and ask for help. Group meetings are one way of doing this. Sponsorship is another.

page 26, paragraph 1

Sponsorship in A.A. is basically the same, whether in helping another individual's recovery or in service to a group. It can be defined as one alcoholic who has made some progress in recovery and/or performance or service, sharing this experience with another alcoholic who is just starting the journey.

page 28, paragraph 1

...it is important for the service sponsor to help individuals understand the distinction between serving the needs of the Fellowship and meeting the personal needs of another group member.

The service sponsor begins by encouraging the member to become active in their home group--coffee, literature, cleanup, attending business meetings or intergroup meetings, etc. The service sponsor should keep in mind that all members will not have the desire or qualifications to move beyond certain levels and, thus, the service sponsor might help find tasks appropriate to individuals' skills and interests. Whatever level of service one performs, all are toward the same end--sharing the overall responsibilities of Alcoholics Anonymous.

page 28, paragraph 2, line 6

...the three Legacies--Unity, Recovery and Service, and to understand that the same principle of rotation not only allows them to move on in service, but also gives newer members the privilege of serving. Rotation also allows them to understand that no one should hold on to a position of trust long enough to feel a proprietary interest and thereby discourage newcomers from service.

page 29, paragraph 1, line 2

Most present members of Alcoholics Anonymous owe their sobriety to the fact that someone else took a special interest in them and was willing to share a great gift with them.

Sponsorship is merely another way of describing the continuing special interest of a seasoned member that can mean so much to a newcomer turning to A.A. for help.

page 29, paragraph 3

1. Final responsibility and ultimate authority for A.A. world services always reside in the collective conscience of our whole Fellowship.

page 33, paragraph 1

5. Throughout our structure, a traditional "Right of Appeal" ought to prevail, so minority opinion will be heard and personal grievances receive careful consideration.

page 33, paragraph 5

12. The Conference shall observe the spirit of A.A. tradition, taking care that it never becomes the seat of perilous wealth or power; that sufficient operating funds and reserve be its prudent financial principle; that it place none of its members in a position of unqualified authority over others; that it reach all important decisions by discussion, vote, and, whenever possible, by substantial unanimity; that its actions never be personally punitive nor an incitement to public controversy; that it never perform acts of government, and that, like the Society it serves, it will always remain democratic in thought and action.

page 33, paragraph 12

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SPONSORSHIP

Sober
Person
Offering
Newcomer
Suggestions
On
Recovery



WHEN ONE CANDLE IS USED TO LIGHT ANOTHER,

NOTHING IS LOST BUT MORE LIGHT IS OBTAINED!



What is sponsorship? It is a mutual and confidential sharing relationship between two A.A. members. Essentially, an alcoholic who has made some progress in the recovery program shares that experience on a continuing, individual basis with another alcoholic who is attempting to attain or maintain sobriety. Sponsor and sponsored meet as equals, to share: experience, strength and hope.

What is the role of a sponsor? THE PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY OF A SPONSOR IS TO HELP THE SPONSORED WORK THE TWELVE STEPS. To show by personal example how the program can lead to serenity, encourage another to attend meetings, read the Big Book and other A.A. literature, apply the tools of the program, keep in regular contact, LISTEN: to allow the member to release the burden of trouble and to help the sponsored recognize the areas where help is most needed, not for the details of crises, but for signs of self-pity, fear, resentment, negative thinking, for the things left unsaid, for things not easily talked about, for opportunities to apply A.A. principles and to explain how they may be applied. Never give advice or make decisions for the member. Refrain from imposing personal views. Provide patience, understanding, open-mindedness and flexibility, while not "killing with kindness". Avoid dwelling on personal problems, but share recovery: experience, strength and hope of personal recovery. A sponsor is someone with whom we can share about ourselves and our circumstances in detail, a friend, a confidant who has experienced alcoholism's devastating effects and yet has learned to find serenity and hope. He or she listens, shares experience, strength and hope and offers support and encouragement but no advice, just suggestions. The idea is for the sponsored to find their own answers in their own time. A sponsor does not have all the answers and if he or she thinks they do, the sponsored should find another, IMMEDIATELY.

Sponsors cannot make the program work for others. They can only be ready to help those they sponsor to help themselves. We must encourage and insist those sponsored to rely on the A.A. PROGRAM and not us. Get them interested in the Big Book starting at the table of contents and working slowly all way through it and then again. Sponsors SHOULD NOT provide any such services as those offered by a social worker, a doctor, a nurse, marriage counselor, lawyer, etc. Our task is simply to share with another, how to stay sober, PERIOD.

Sponsorship strengthens the older member's sobriety, by helping others, we help ourselves. Those sponsored should be encouraged to work with other newcomers as soon as possible by sharing experience, strength and hope, not necessary teaching or controlling. SHARING is the key. We all must realize we stay sober through reliance on the A.A. program, not on any individual member or meeting attendance.

Let us make those sponsored realize that one reason for sponsorship and one-to-one sharing is because meetings are oriented to group needs and are limited by time, we shouldn't each bring our specific problems to group meetings for discussion. Sponsorship and one-on-one sharing provide us with the opportunity to unburden ourselves in a personal and constructive way.

Sponsorship is a mutually beneficial relationship. It allows the sponsor to focus on the A.A. principles in a new way and provides them an opportunity to practice the 12th Step.

How can we possibly, realistically expect a person who has absolutely no knowledge of A.A., someone who has been to one or just a few meetings, to reach out and pick someone to be their sponsor. For our own sobriety, for our own serenity, because it's God's will to help His children, why don't we reach out to the newcomer, and sponsor him or her, without he or she knowing what we are doing. And sometime down the road, whey we are asked to sponsor the person, we can say, "Hey, what do you think I have been doing?"

Both the sponsor and sponsored should read "Questions and answers on Sponsorship", A.A. pamphlet P-15.



SPONSORSHIP IS A TOOL GOD USES TO HELP BOTH THE SPONSOR AND THE SPONSORED TO GROW