Today's Thought - August

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August 1

I watched a man I know help his wife take care of their babies.

“How did you learn to be such a good dad?” I asked. He explained that his father had been a great dad. His mother had died when he was three, leaving his father on his own to care for him and his baby sister.

“So he just stepped up to the plate?” I asked.

“Like Babe Ruth,” he said.

Inventory Focus:

What – or who – is challenging you? Are you creating healthy challenges or unnecessary chaos? Do you want it just because you can’t have it, or do you really want it? Are you stepping up to the plate and accepting the real challenges in your life?

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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August 2

Reflection for the Day

Before I came to The Program, I hadn't the faintest idea of what it was to "Live In The Now." I often became obsessed with the things that happened yesterday, last week, or even five years ago. Worse yet, many of my waking hours were spent clearing away the "wreckage of the future." "To me," Walt Whitman once wrote, "every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle." Can I truly believe that in my heart?

Today I Pray

Let me carry only the weight of 24 hours at one time, without the extra bulk of yesterday's regrets or tomorrow's anxieties. Let me breathe the blessings of each new day for itself, by itself, and keep my human burdens contained in daily perspective. May I learn the balance of soul that comes through keeping close to God.

Today I Will Remember

Don't borrow from tomorrow.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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August 3

Courage is very important. Like a muscle, it is strengthened by use.
--Ruth Gordon

All of us fear the unfamiliar at times; and it's nothing to be ashamed of to occasionally feel frightened by everyday events. We can still forget that God is always with us and, thus, allow fear to take over.

We're learning in recovery, though, that we can empower ourselves through the magic of belief. Acting as If we feel that extra bit of courage and that we sense God's presence protecting us can dissipate our fears and bring us new confidence. In doing this, we will gradually come to know the inner resources God has given us. The more we acknowledge our courage, the more it becomes a working part of our life.

We often unnecessarily complicate matters by thinking we have to face things by ourselves. We forget that our spiritual program offers us ready relief from the terror of feeling alone. God offers us the strength and courage to meet each challenge. We only have to accept.

I will remember God's presence today and discover the courage to face my fears.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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August 4

I just pictured in my mind what I wanted to do. You can use that same formula in accomplishing anything in life.
--Ida Bellegarde

The imagination is a powerful tool. With practice we can perfect our use of it and the results will astound us. Research has shown that athletes who visualize a practice session on the field or mountain or course hone their skills as effectively as those who practice "in the flesh." This may be hard to believe, but it's nonetheless true.

If this formula has worked for others, it can work for you too. But how do you begin? First, consider what you would like to do. The next step is to sit quietly, close your eyes and imagine, in detail, the activity you want to pursue. Stay quiet with this image until it feels natural. Take special note of the sensations you feel throughout your body, the colors you see around you, your inner voice's message. Absorb the experience fully before coming back to reality.

Repeated "journeys" with your mind will make any activity feel familiar, and enough familiarity makes success possible.

I am not prevented from doing anything I really want to do. Using my imagination to experience it the first time will get me started.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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August 5

Self-Acceptance and Self-Knowledge

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

And wisdom to know the difference.

This well-known prayer expresses some key guidelines to our philosophy of living. One group member explained it this way:

“For me, the things I cannot change are other people, places, and circumstances. The only things I can change are my attitudes, reactions and action toward the people, places and circumstances in my life.

“The wisdom to know the difference, well, that’s a hard one. I don’t always know what I can and cannot change until I try changing it. Wisdom comes by trial and error. The more experience I have, the more understanding, knowledge, and wisdom I have.”

Today I will accept that much of my wisdom can only come through my daily experiences. I need to expect to make some mistakes in my attitudes, actions, and judgment of what I can and cannot change. I will learn to be patient with myself and others as I gain more understanding from my mistakes.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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August 6

An alcoholic spends his life committing suicide on the installment plan.
--Laurence Peter

None of us woke up one morning and found we had suddenly turned into an addict. We got to be one by practice. And we practiced often. We ignored our families - we left work early - and went drinking and drugging. Daily, we chose chemicals over anything else.

Likewise, getting sober is no accident. We use the Steps. We work the program. At meetings, we're reminded to help others. We all get sober on the installment plan. A day at a time. We got sick one day at a time; we recover one day at a time.

Prayer for the Day

Today, with my Higher Power's help, I'll be happier, more honest, more sober. Sobriety is like a good savings account. Higher Power, help me to put in more than I take out.

Action for the Day

I'll go over my Step One to remind myself it's no accident I'm an addict.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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August 7

When I take another’s needs into consideration and bend, I spiritually stretch.
--Helene Lerner-Robbins

We have been told that this is a selfish program. Perhaps that has given us license to be inconsiderate. However, that isn’t what the founders meant by a selfish program. While it’s true that we must protect our sobriety always, it is never wrong to be kind and considerate toward others. Our kindness to someone else won’t ever make us drink! That’s what we must keep uppermost in our mind.

Along with helping us maintain abstinence, the program helps us develop a spiritual relationship that can change every aspect of our lives. Coming to believe in a Higher Power and turning to that Power for guidance and comfort allow us to experience hope in every situation. We can enhance our spiritual growth by treating others as we want God to treat us.

My spiritual growth can get a boost today if I get my ego out of the way and help someone else feel better.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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August 8

Lost warriors have only to open their eyes to find the right and good path.
-- Chief Red Mountain

We all carry a fountain of joy inside. This joy is not something special given to only a few of us. An abundance of joy, happiness, and peace is our right. Our hearts were meant to be full of love and laughter.

We have been promised that our lives will get better. Even the worst situations will be made right. As we walk the path of recovery, our lives do get better. When we think we have reached our limit of joy and happiness, something else happens. We get happier! Life will not be without troubles, but joy and gratitude will heal all wounds and shine through all problems.

Today let me accept, without fear, the new joy I feel.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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August 9

Do not reveal your thoughts to everyone, lest you drive away your good luck.
--Apocrypha, Ecclesiasticus 8:19

We've had problems in our lives with limits. We have done some things to excess and others we have endlessly postponed. Sometimes we haven't had good judgment about what we ought to tell someone or whom we ought to tell. We may have kept secrets that made us lonely and sick. Other times we exposed too much in inappropriate situations and hurt someone else or ourselves. Developing these internal limits is a quiet change that comes with recovery. Gradually, we gain a stronger feeling of self-respect and become more intuitive about when to express something and when not to.

Secrets are links in our chains of bondage to isolation, addiction, and codependency. Yet, when we are compelled to tell everything, we lack the feeling of self-containment that comes from maturity. We need a sense of privacy which is the freedom to choose what and when to confide in a friend. What does our intuition tell us today about our privacy and our openness?

Today, I will listen to my inner messages about what I need to discuss with others and when I need to withhold.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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August 10

People have a need to feel their pain.
Very often pain is the beginning of a great deal of awareness.
As an energy, it awakens consciousness.
--Arnold Mindell

The Barbara I met at my high school reunion was not the same person I had known a decade earlier. A sensitive and caring person stood in the place of the driven and manipulative individual I remembered. Her soft gaze spoke of a new compassion and understanding. I asked a friend of Barbara’s how this transformation occurred. “It’s very simple,” the friend replied. “She’s been to hell and back.”

Barbara’s story is universal. It is the experience of pain - physical, emotional, or spiritual - that inspires us to start the search for something more. Many great teachers and healers began their spiritual quest as a way to cope with the pain of an illness, divorce, or similar loss. This discomfort forced them to abandon the status quo and take a new and uncharted course, a course that led to a major transformation.

Is pain the only way we can grow and transform? Not necessarily. As we work on ourselves and learn from our mistakes, the ups and downs of life become less intense. Lessons come in a more gentle manner. Once the heart is opened, it takes less effort to keep it that way.

You are moving to that point where joy and bliss are all-encompassing. Until then, your pain can be your greatest teacher.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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August 11

Saying No

For many of us, the most difficult word to say is one of the shortest and easiest in the vocabulary: No. Go ahead, say it aloud: No.

No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. We’re afraid people won’t like us, or we feel guilty. We may believe that a “good” employee, child, parent, spouse, or Christian never says no.

The problem is, if we don’t learn to say no, we stop liking ourselves and the people we always try to please. We may even punish others out of resentment.

When do we say no? When no is what we really mean.

When we learn to say no, we stop lying. People can trust us, and we can trust ourselves. All sorts of good things happen when we start saying what we mean.

If we’re scared to say no, we can buy some time. We can take a break, rehearse the word, and go back and say no. We don’t have to offer long explanations for our decisions.

When we can say no, we can say yes to the good. Our no’s and our yes’s begin to be taken seriously. We gain control of ourselves. And we learn a secret: “No” isn’t really that hard to say.

Today, I will say no if that is what I mean.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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August 12

The degree to which I can create relationships, which facilitate the growth of others as separate persons, is a measure of the growth I have achieved in myself.
--Carl R. Rogers

As children we clung to and modeled ourselves after friends and siblings and sometimes parents. We imitated with ease how a friend walked and gestured. At times we identified too closely, and lost the self that ached to be known. And just as often, we encouraged someone else to follow our lead. The struggle to be whole and separate and happy was consuming. It consumes us even now.

We often neglect individual development, opting instead for a closeness with others that defies real love and stifles our growth. Unless we explore our individuality, we'll neither discover nor be able to nurture the talents that are our gifts. And the truest demonstration of our love is to nurture that exploration in another.

The paradox is that finally we can only sustain meaning in our moments and hours of togetherness if we've tapped the source of our creative strength in our times apart.

We must cherish both the coming together and the going apart to know love.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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August 13

Self-Seeking Slips Away

Today, God, help me remember that not everything is about me.

When I was using, thinking of myself was my whole existence. With abstinence, I began to practice understanding, humility, gratitude, caring, and sharing with others.

By having faith in our Program's recovery Steps and their other-centeredness focus, I am reminded that I am a person who truly needs other people.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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August 14

Others treat us the way we invite them to treat us.
--Barb H.

Coping with stress is a lot more difficult than preventing it in the first place. If we think prevention, we can avoid a surprising number of stressful situations by thinking ahead and sidestepping. We don’t have to have lunch with difficult or complaining co-workers, for example. We can take a walk at lunchtime or catch up on some reading.

We can limit our availability to other family members by telling them we’re off duty after 8:00 P.M. If we stick to it, the others will learn not to ask for late night help with homework or for a shirt to be ironed. We deserve quiet time to build up our reserves and to fend off stress. Giving all our time away is foolish, not virtuous. We can only expect others to respect our limitations if we are clear about our boundaries.

To stay healthy, we need to avoid, or at least limit, involvement in all unnecessary aggravations.

I will demand the time I need each day for myself.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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August 15

Separateness

… risk creating our own life path.

Sometimes it seems easier to lean on our mate for all decisions and all direction. Then we do not have to risk creating our own life path. Some people think they can avoid that risk by striking a bargain with their mate. They so fully immerse themselves in their mate's identity that they never have to face their own. Some couples unconsciously agree that one partner will do all the thinking and the other will have all the feelings. The result of their bargain blunts the spirit of both people, because neither grasps the challenge to see life through her or his own eyes. When both of us know how it feels to walk in the other's shoes but still see our life through our own eyes, we find the greatest personal empowerment and spiritual freedom.

Think of a time when your relationship was stronger because you took the risk to be different.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum