Today's Thought - November

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November 1

Defining good in my life is up to me.

We've heard, "Life is as good as we make it," but this sounds far too simplistic. We look at friends, family, and co-workers and often see much unhappiness. If it's up to us to make life good, why do so few take advantage of the opportunity?

It's not that we don't want happiness. All of us do. But many of us mistakenly think happiness comes from outside ourselves. For example, when other people shower us with love, we're happy. When the boss compliments our work, we're happy. On the other hand, relying on our inner wisdom to tell us we're worthy and believing we are worthy are untapped skills for most of us. Fortunately, we are in the right place to acquire these skills.

Twelve Step programs will teach us, if we are ready to take responsibility for our own happiness. Our program friends are learning how to rely on their inner wisdom and their God, and we are learning from their example.

It's really only a simple change in perspective. It's looking within, not without, for knowledge of our worth. There's no mystery to it. We can do it just as they are doing it.

I will monitor how I evaluate my experiences today. Living peacefully and happily is up to me.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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November 2

The Wolf and the Crane

A wolf had been eating when a bone became stuck in his throat. Soon, the pain became excruciating. He rushed to a pond, thinking water would loosen the bone. But he could not swallow. Frantic, he looked around and saw a crane watching him. "I would give anything," he rasped, "if you would remove this bone from my throat. Your neck is long and your beak is strong. Please help me."

The crane agreed. It lowered its neck and put its long beak into the wolf's throat, removing the bone. "I would now like the reward you promised," said the crane.

But the wolf growled. "It is enough that you have placed your head into my strong jaws, and I have spared your life. Be gone with you, or you will be my next dinner.

The Moral of the story: An enemy's promises were made to be broken.

While making a fearless moral inventory, you may remember when you mistreated others, pushed them aside when they tried to keep you safe, or made promises you did not keep. Your promise today – to live a clean and sober life – can help you to make amends to them.

Today I will make a list of those who helped me and were always there for me, and I will make amends to them.

You are reading from the book:

Morning Light by Amy E. Dean

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November 3

All things pass... Patience attains all that it strives for.
-- St. Teresa of Avila

Some days, it seems like our struggles will never end. The pain, the loss, the heartaches, the failures we can recount them all. Where is the strength to go on?

What if we began our day by acknowledging that all things pass? That given time, effort, and patience, we can accept or accomplish most anything? But patience does not mean complacency. On the contrary, each day in recovery requires a new attitude, a new outlook that in time generates its own positive energy for growth and change.

We need strength and patience not only in the difficult moments, but in the easier ones - the days of comfort when things seem to be going almost too well.

Soon, we can look back across the months and see growth. As the skills of the dancer or the carpenter increase with time and patience, so do our skills in recovery. As we grow in recovery, becoming ever more patient, we become ever more in tune with our Higher Power and the promise of a new life.

Today grant me the patience to live in the moment. Help me be willing to believe that all things pass and I can live better in sobriety.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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November 4

Enjoying reality

Cloud Nine does not compare to the joys and beauty of a clean life. In fact, Cloud Nine is opposed to our new way of life. It's a fantasy, a trip, a high - like that first drink, fix, or pill.

Now we are dealing with reality - a real and beautiful place instead of a fanciful dream. Each day can be a journey with our Higher Power, beyond pain and suffering, beyond Cloud Nine, in the wonderful here and now.

Am I learning to enjoy today?

I pray for guidance through all aspects of growing, so I don't get stuck in any one place.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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November 5

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
--E. E. Cummings

One of the true gifts of recovery is that we learn to laugh again. No matter how beat up our spirits have been by our addiction, no matter how heavy or hard our hearts have become, one day we find ourselves laughing. The lightness in our hearts lets us know life is good.

It may happen in a meeting as we suddenly stop taking ourselves so seriously. It may happen as we learn to socialize again and share a joke or score a goal in a group of our new friends. It may happen as we look into the eyes of someone who loves us and our hearts bubble over with joy.

Laughter heals us. It is one of our heart's songs. There is always some in our life, somewhere - and we need only look in order to find it.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please give me something today that will tickle me with joy or humor. Help me give in to the urge to laugh. I know my laughter is music to your ears.

Today's Action

When I notice something to laugh or smile about today, I will share it with others. Humor and joy are meant to be shared.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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November 6

How we look at the world.

The world we live in has much that is good and much that is bad. Each day we can seek out the positive or the negative. If we choose to dwell on the negative, then that is what we will experience. But if we dwell on the positive, then that is more likely what we will experience.

The choice today is ours. We are the only ones who have the power to change how we look at the world.

How do I view the world today?

Thought for the Day

It is remarkable how things change when I decide to change the way I look at them.

You are reading from the book:

A Restful Mind by Mark Allen Zabawa

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November 7

Practicing Serenity

We often urge ourselves to hurry up when there's no good reason for it. At such times, all we really do is create needless tension and anxiety.

The slogan "Easy does it" is our answer to such calls to hurry. The slogan suggests that we simply move into the rhythms of life and "go with the flow."

It's not hurrying but steady effort that finally brings achievement. We've had entirely too much hurry and impatience - what we really need is confident, persistent effort in the right direction. We should be specially reminded of this when we see anxious, impatient people speeding through traffic only to be forced to wait at traffic lights, risking life and limb to save a few seconds. A good steady pace is what we need, and it will win the game.

I'll be active today, but not overactive. I'll look for rhythm and efficiency in everything I do.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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November 8

Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind.
--Alice Meynell

It's all too easy to blame a friend, spouse, or co-worker for the uneven quality of our lives. If only others would behave according to our plans and dictates, then all would go well, we think. What seldom is remembered or even understood is that each of us has an individual perspective on any single event - our own. We need to stretch our minds and hearts to understand an experience from another's point of view. However, we need never fully understand how another perceives life. We need only to accept that another's perspective is legitimate.

Our happiness is not dependent on the perceptions or the actions of someone else. Nor is it dependent on attention, or lack of it, from a loved one. Our occupation may be challenging and fulfilling; however, the joy we get from it depends on the attitude we carry to the job. In every way, whether in the company of others or by ourselves, we make our own happiness.

My opportunity for happiness is guaranteed if I opt for it today.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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November 9

I must change

Spirit of the Universe, I pray to remember,
No one can make me change.
No one can stop me from changing.
No one really knows how I must change,
Not even I. Not until I start.
Help me remember that it only takes a slight shift
In direction to begin to change my life.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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November 10

Hurts do heal.

Time has a wonderful way of erasing bad feelings and leaving us with good ones. Our memories are selective, and fortunately, the pleasant ones seem to have more staying power. Whatever has been real and meaningful for us tends to remain with us - the rest gradually fades away. We can assist this selective process of memory by consciously letting go of the thoughts and feelings that disturb our serenity.

You might imagine yourself making a package out of a disappointment, your hostility, some hurt feelings, or whatever is hampering your spirit. Wrap the package tightly and ship it off to a Higher Power. Send it airmail, if you like.

Refusing to dwell on our wounds allows them to heal more quickly. In our program, there is no place for self-pity. The reprieve we have from our eating disorder is a daily one, and it depends on our spiritual condition. Gratitude for all the good fortune that comes our way keeps us healthy.

I will remember that what hurts today will pass in time. I can speed its departure by refusing to indulge in self-pity.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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November 11

The Evolving Relationship

. . . a partner who provided a place to climb.

Once when climbing rocks with friends, a woman reached a place she decided was impossible to move beyond. She wanted to retreat, but her belayer encouraged her to try again. She felt angry and scared, and she was stuck. She fought with the rock, but it was clear that the rock was never going to change. Wanting the rock to be different, to grow new footholds or handholds was futile.

After she vented her feelings, she realized there were only two ways out of her predicament. One way was to quit, and the other was to try again, perhaps with a different mind-set than she had before. Staying with her task in spite of her fear, she began to think of the rock as her friend, as a partner who provided a place to climb. She realized that she did not have to make her friend, the rock, change in order to continue climbing. Her thoughts were more focused, and she was able to make her way up the rock.

Sometimes our partner feels like an immovable rock. It is difficult to stop trying to change our partner and focus on ourselves. When we do, we discover a new direction in our relationship, a new view of our partner, and empowerment for ourselves.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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November 12

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
-- Abraham Maslow

When we can take a long view of our problems, we can sometimes see that we're using inappropriate tools to try to solve them. What's necessary for us to do is to move away, to detach. That may show us a whole new context into which our problem fits, and in which it may not even be a problem.

Detachment is hard to achieve when we're deeply hooked into a situation. When we send ourselves drastic messages like "now or never!" we're pressing our noses right up against the problem - a position in which it's difficult to maintain a balanced view. To stop and say, "If not now, then perhaps some other time," unhooks us and lets us remember that life is richer and more varied than we thought when we were hooked.

Crisis thinking can be like a hammer - it flattens everything. This can be our way of trying to control the outcome of our individual struggle. But when we remember that we make up only small parts of one grand and beautiful design. We can surrender our problems to it.

To be a competent worker, I will seek out the tools that are best suited to my task.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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November 13

Everything is so dangerous that nothing is really very frightening.
--Gertrude Stein

Life is full of dangers and risks and challenges. We can choose to meet them fearfully or in a spirit of welcome. To choose fear, to say, "I won't take that risk because I might lose," is to prevent ourselves from ever winning. If we welcome the danger, the risk, or the challenge, we acknowledge that life is made up of losses as well as victories, of gains as well as pain.

Life holds the dangers as well as the rewards. We choose how we will act. Sometimes we may feel trapped in a cycle of fearfulness. If we examine our own part, will we find that we are neglecting to take a balanced view? Perhaps, through a fear of losing, we are missing many chances for satisfaction.

I will remember: I have the power to choose what my attitude will be toward this day's offerings.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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November 14

Being present is an expression of love.

When someone we care about is in distress, we may not know what to say. We'd like to make the hurt go away and set everything right, but we feel awkward and powerless.

Sometimes the greatest gift we can give each other is our presence, our attention. As we recover, we become more available emotionally to those we love, less preoccupied with craving and control, and less withdrawn and isolated. Having experienced the healing support of our Twelve Step groups, we can share our strength and hope by simply being there for someone else, whether or not that person is in the program.

We know that each of us must find his or her own answers. There are many times when, much as we'd like to, we can't fix the problems of our friends, children, parents, or other family members. What we can do is show them by our presence that we care and are on their side. We can spend time with them or, if we're geographically separated, we can call or write. And we can be confident that the same Higher Power that supports us is also supporting those we love.

My presence today can make a positive difference to someone dear to me.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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November 15

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Some of us have an insatiable desire to do something about every situation that occurs in our lives. We fret about this, we rush into that, and we push our confused minds to the edge of despair. Weary from our relentless struggling, we become short-tempered, highly critical, and completely irrational. Little things become big things. Everything in our lives becomes too much for us.

When this happens, we need to "Let Go" of our false pride and admit that we alone cannot understand or solve our present difficulties. Only when we have the humility to admit our limitations can we receive the help we need.

Letting go of our false pride, however, is merely the first step. We also need to "Let God" take a hand in our affairs. When we give our burdens to God expecting God's help our problems often solve themselves without our ever making any conscious effort. Leaving our troubles with God frees our minds to receive new perspectives which we could not receive while we were busily clutching our sorrows and frustrations to us.

Today, I will ask for God's guidance and help in every area of my life. I will not try to solve all my difficulties at once. I am not expected to handle more than my share. I will work on one or two things and leave the rest to God.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes