Today's Gift for Families - March 2014

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, March 1, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next.

—Ursula LeGuin

The world around us changes constantly. Trees turn from green to beautiful shades of yellow, orange, and brown in the fall. Yet, even if we watched the trees carefully, every minute of the day, we could not actually see the colors change. Change requires time, preparation, and patience.

To make the changes we want, we need to let go of unhealthy but comfortable patterns that we're stuck in, the way the trees let their colors change and finally let go of their leaves altogether. We can't have total change right now, no matter how much we want it. It's important to accept both who we are now and who we are becoming. Just as the tree trusts without question that its leaves will grow and lets go of them when the time comes, we can believe in our own power to grow and let go of our accomplishments when the time is right.

When we do, we can be assured that our lives will blossom again, like trees in the spring coming to life after a cold winter.

Do I have any new blossoms today?

Mine haven't been in bloom for a few day.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, March 2, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow.

—William Blake

We have a right to claim our own feelings. Sometimes we get angry, but hold it inside because we think it's wrong to feel it. If anger builds inside us, it expands like a balloon ready to burst. If not released, it can make us depressed, or even physically ill. When we give ourselves permission to feel anger, we are better able to get rid of it in a healthy way. Our inner voice can tell us how to let go of our anger. And once we've released it, we can easily get in touch with the feelings that caused it.

When we recognize our anger for what it is--one feeling among many others that makes us unique--it loses its significance, and we can prevent it from consuming us. Indira Ghandi said, "You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist." When we let go of our anger we can honestly embrace each other with open arms.

Am I carrying around anger which could be released today?

Have found over the years, that anger often happens when I don't get my own way. It also means that I allow some person, place or thing, to rule my life. I give up my own power and allow them to rent space in my head without a down payment.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, March 3, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.

—Thomas Jefferson

Some of the necessary things we do are tiring and annoying. Many of these things we must do regardless of how we feel about them. Doing dishes day after day can be a tiresome job, but no matter how much we hate it, it must be done sooner or later. We might discover, if we look hard enough, how chores like this can actually be enjoyable, if we do them right. Perhaps dish washing is a time for listening to music and singing along, or an opportunity for conversation between family members as we help one another.

Our willingness to look for the hidden treasure and opportunities in tasks we might otherwise consider dreary will never fail to reward us.

What opportunity can I see in my next chore?

Love the quote. If I don't have the willingness to do, I need to pray for the willingness to be willing. When we stay in the moment, in today, a chore doesn't become a chore but an act of love and acceptance.

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume, you shall assume.

—Walt Whitman

Some of us may think Walt Whitman must have been terribly conceited to have written words like that. But he wasn't. He knew himself well, and accepted himself, even his darker side. He could laugh at himself and celebrate his humanness.

And because he loved and accepted himself just as he was, others could do the same. That's difficult to understand sometimes, but it's true: no one else is going to love and accept us until we come to love and accept ourselves.

We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves, so perhaps it makes sense to apply a variation of the Golden Rule: "Do unto ourselves as we would have others do unto us."

Can I allow my kindness to myself overflow to another person today?

Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. What goes around comes around, what you give out, you get back.

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

The farmer may only be planting a seed, but if he opens his eyes he is feeding the whole world.

—Omaha Bee

A traveler journeying through a small village came upon some workers building an impressive structure. "What are you doing?" he asked. The first worker, a young, impatient man, replied in disgust, "I am making three dollars an hour and I'm getting very tired!" The visitor asked another man the same question. "I'm mixing concrete, as you can plainly see," came the sarcastic reply. Finally, a woman working nearby left her wheelbarrow full of bricks and approached the stranger. "We are building a hospital," she said with pride. "Now we will be able to care for all the region's people. Babies will be born here. Lives will be saved."

The stranger looked at the woman with admiration and spoke directly to her. "I know, for this is my hospital. Only you hold the vision of what it is you are creating." The wealthy benefactor then put the woman in charge of construction so his hospital would be built by one who truly understood.

Will I see the importance of even the small things I do today?

It is the small things that up into a big awakening, my God is doing for me what I can't do for myself.

I don't expect Him to do my laundry, but I know I can go to Him and ask for the incentive, willingness, and courage to get some done even if I can't do it all. I can still find myself in that all or nothing at all stage, which is me trying to play God with my life. What will be will be. If I don't think of what I should do, and recognize what I did do, then life is so much better. Stress is such a big trigger for all substance abuse.

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, March 6, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

This Mouse must give up one of the Mouse ways of seeing things in order that he may grow.

—Hyemeyohsts Storm

There is an American Indian tale of a mouse who heard a roaring in his ears and set out to discover what it was. He encountered many animals who helped him on his way. Finally, the mouse had a chance to offer help to another. He gave away his eyes to help two other animals.

Without his sight, defenseless, he waited for the end. Soon he heard the sound eagles make when they dive for their prey. The next thing the mouse knew, he was flying. He could see all the splendor around him. Then he heard a voice say, "You have a new name. You are Eagle."

Like the mouse, we also feel something inside us we'd like to explore. That secret, like all others, has its answer hidden deep within us, yet right under our very nose. Often, we merely have to give up our eyes and see in a different way. When we do this, we are rewarded with a new kind of vision, one that lets us discover our true potential.

How can I look at things differently today?

Take off your rose coloured glasses, widen your vision, pray and ask for my God's Will for me in today. Do a 10th Step!

[MajestyJo]

Friday, March 7, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

He who distributes the milk of human kindness cannot help but spill a little on himself.

—James Barrie

We like ourselves best when we like those around us. When we smile at them, they smile back; when we ask them, they tell us about themselves. When we scowl at people, they'll frown back; when we ignore them, they'll walk away.

It's true that we get back what we put into things, whether it's work, play, love, or gardening. We decide by the extent of our commitment how valuable or enjoyable or depressing an experience can be for us.

Our actions toward others come right back to us. When we smile at people, they smile back, and we feel good. Sometimes feeling good about ourselves depends on feeling good about others. When we send out that smile of ours, those who get it pass it on, and we have added power to the happiness of the world.

What can I do to show my fondness for others today?

For me, is to not sit in isolation. There have been times in my life where I shut the phone off, or just wouldn't answer it or the door. Depression eats the soul. If I reach out to others, I cleans my soul and allows the light to come in.

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, March 8, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Laughter by definition is healthy.

—Doris Lessing

A hearty laugh can warm a cold room and make our spirits soar. But many of us are afraid to laugh, especially when we make mistakes. We think we're supposed to be perfect, and we don't allow ourselves to make mistakes. However, we're not a mold punched out by a machine. We're human beings, with all our wonderful flaws. It is those flaws that make our lives interesting and surprising. Who knows when we might accidentally bump into a chair or catch our sweater on a doorknob? We needn't feel self-conscious, it happens to many of us.

The ability to laugh at ourselves is a gift from God. All we need to do is grab it and use it. Then we will see how healthy and powerful laughter can be.

Can I find the humor in my mistakes today?

A gift my service sponsor claimed to have taught me, when I was 5 years sober. I really didn't like her kind of humour and it was because of that I let her go as my sponsor. I moved into a new place and she asked me if I had a mat beside my bed to muffle the sound of all the men jumping in and out of my bed. I was really hurt, I had a lot of friends, male and female, but that didn't mean I took them to my bed for favours. Jealousy can be a deadly things. Ironically, several years later, she had alienated everyone and she called me and I sponsored her until she past away.

What some people see as funny, doesn't always have the same reaction in others. When you put someone else down to make yourself feel better, doesn't work. It harms you and them.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, March 9, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

There is no such thing as a long piece of work, except one that you dare not start.
—Charles Baudelaire

A big assignment can be scary to face. We may start to think that how we do on the assignment will determine if we're good or bad people. The more we think about it, the harder that task seems. The key to overcoming our negative feelings is to say to ourselves that we are capable of finishing our projects. We must say it over and over until we start believing it's true. Then we can attack the assignment with vitality and positive energy we didn't know we had.

We can make up our minds to do our best and accept that from ourselves. We say Edison was a genius, but our light bulbs still burn out regularly. Even Einstein was wrong once in a while, and he knew it, but that didn't stop him from trying.

When we feel afraid to start something because it seems too big a job, let's stop and think what the first step would be, and do each small step in its own time.

What can I start that I've been putting off?

Don't tell me that my God doesn't have a sense of humour. Didn't even have to think about this, I need to do laundry. In fact, it seems like I always need to do laundry, ironically, I don't really mind doing it. It is just an effort to go from the 19th floor to the 3rd floor. It has been cold, but don't trust the other tenants to not steal my clothes in the dryer. My problem is that I have too many clothes. I have a few things that I don't want to let go of, a few t-shirts that are almost paper thin.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, March 10, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

The older you get the more you realize that kindness is synonymous with happiness.

--Lionel Barrymore

Once in a while, we forget about the kind things people have done for us. Do we remember the next-door neighbor who helped us get our kite out of a tree, or the brother who helped us finish a project for school? If we think about these kindnesses, we will remember how happy we were to receive them.

These people and others may need a kindness we can give. Our next-door neighbor may get sick and need us to go to the store, a brother or sister may need to borrow a radio, or the elderly person down the street may need the lawn mowed. Whenever we take the time to give a kindness, we will find that like the boomerang, it returns to us in the form of happiness.

Will I be alert to my chances to give kindness today?

All I have to remember is my manners and say please and thank you.

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Being a healthy parent means being firm but nurturing, giving children a decent sense of the boundaries along with lots of unconditional love.

—Karen Shaud

In a healthy family, life goes along and everybody pitches in to do the housework. Some people wonder why housework is such a big deal. It is because people need to contribute to a group in order to feel they belong to it. Housework makes us part of the same group--our house, our family. We make our house comfortable so we can feel comfortable and safe in it. We show love for ourselves by making our surroundings likeable. And when we do physical work, we can do our inner housekeeping, letting go of negative feelings that pile up during the day.

On days when life feels out of control, we feel good when we do one simple job: clean the messy desk, wash dirty dishes, shovel the snowy walk. In this way we regain control of our feelings as well as a perspective on those things within our control.

What simple work do I need to do to feel better today?

Help someone else and in doing so, I help myself.

Whenever I see the word control, I remember what I was taught in Mary Ellis House where I went through treatment, "If you have to control it, it is already out of control." Just not my using and the substance I choose to pick up (people, places, and things), but the thinking that takes me to that place, where I am looking outside of myself for affirmation, validation, attention, love and acceptance, because I can't find it within myself.

For so many years, I lived my life through my son and/or the man in my life, I put my life on hold, waiting for their commands and I would let my life slide by, because I wasn't important and worthy.

I am an addict just as much as the alcoholic and drug addict in my life. They use me and I used them.

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Gentleness is not a quality exclusive to women.

—Helen Reddy

Each of us has our soft side: maybe it's when we're petting a kitten, caring for a baby robin with an injured wing, or soothing a crying child who is afraid. Behaving in a gentle way toward others gives us warm feelings inside. It also encourages others to treat us gently, too.

We don't always feel like being gentle. If we're sad or worried about school or a friend, we might not even notice the people around us who need our gentleness. But when we remember gentleness, it lifts our spirits. Two people will always be happier when we're gentle--the person we've been gentle to and ourselves.

Who can I share my gentleness with today?

This reminds me of something most people try not to recognize within themselves. We do have a feminine and a masculine side and often we try to prove ourselves or erect walls to block our more sensitive side.

Gentleness is important, especially when dealing with ourselves. Don`t be so hard on yourself! Forgive yourself! Take time for yourself! Stop with the tongue lashing, and the push, push until we drop and crash and burn.

As I have shared before, my meditations cards once told me, `Your feminine side is languishing.` Love that word, but not a pretty picture comes to mind. Use to the survivor and allowing myself to be vulnerable was one of the hardest part of recovery.

Be gentle with yourself, you are worthwhile and deserving of love and care. Look to yourself and give to you what you do for others as the caretaker in you. Affirm yourself and validate who you are, and know it is okay to be you.

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, March 13, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I never dreamed of so much happiness when I was the ugly duckling.

—Hans Christian Andersen

The ugly duckling was not really ugly at all, he was just different. The other ducks teased and pecked and even bit him until the ugly duckling flew away. He wandered around for a year, and was treated as an outcast everywhere. In the spring, he saw a group of swans on a lake, and wanted very much to join them. As he swam out toward them, he was astounded to notice his reflection in the water--he was a swan! The other swans welcomed him warmly, and found him to be beautiful.

Most of us go through times when we feel different from those around us. These are painful and lonely times, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with us. Like the ugly duckling, we will come into a time when we will be loved. All the pain and loneliness we have felt will help us fully appreciate the acceptance when we find it.

How can I treasure the ways I am different from others today?

Was told to look at what I had rather than what I didn't have. Look at where I had been and see how far I had come. We all go through, and for many years, I was the martyr, the victim, and the scapegoat, and the caretaker. It was always about others, never about me. In today, it is about my recovery, without it, I don't have me.

Each of us had our own trauma, and maybe the same issues, but my feelings are mine and theirs are theirs, and whether we react or act the same is neither here nor there, it is about bringing it all to light and allowing it to heal.

[MajestyJo]

Friday, March 14, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Each man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
—Mark Twain

What does it mean to be different? How does it feel? Is it okay to act or look or be different from everyone else at times? Sometimes, maybe even most of the time, it feels safer to blend into the crowd. We don't want to stick out like a sore thumb. But sometimes it's when we are different that we discover new things no one has ever thought of or done before.

We don't want to spend our whole lives doing only what others do. And there are times when we must take a stand if what others are doing is wrong. Perhaps it's good practice to try to do some little thing differently once in a while, to stand out from the crowd, just to get used to it. We might even like it. After all, if no one ever dares to be different, how would our world ever change for the better?

What little thing can I do to stand out from the crowd today?

Saw the quote, and what came to mind was the old saying, "What pulls your crank today?" I try not to go there in today.

Depends on my motive and intent, as to what attention I want to attract. I want people to see me and think I have something special in my life and ask me what it is. That means I am taking my program out of the recovery rooms and living it at home and in the community.

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, March 15, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

How we choose to spend our time says much about what is important to us. If we have no goals, we may try to kill time. If we have too many goals, there may not be enough time in the day to do all we set out to do. We must make some choices based on our values. We may need to take more time for some things, and let go of others. For example, this year will we try to learn to play the guitar? Perhaps we have finally decided to drop out of that club which seems to have little purpose. Will we give more time to work, or less time? With each of these choices, we shape our lives. We can do it with the touch of an artist if we pay attention to the choices we are making.

What is truly important to me today?

First thing is my sobriety. My emotional sobriety and the tools the program gives me to find the soundness of mind to say no to drugs, yes to hugs.

Live my own life, and allow others to live theirs; instead of living my life through others and putting my life on hold waiting for someone else's convenience.