Compulsion To Drink

[roverl0616]

To have the compulsion to drink, is it a curse and a blessing? I had to make myself learn how to drink. For me there was something about drinking from the beginning. I was chasing after something. My body didn't like it when I drank. This was made very clear to me, but I pushed on anyway. Then I was made to realize that when I drank I had this compulsion and it was because of having it that I had no control over the amount I would drink. I don't know when I developed this compulsion, but found out that once I had it I'd always have it, that there's no way of breaking free from it. At first knowing this felt like I'd been cursed, but later because having it led to the program of recovery I found it to be a blessing. As long as I respect the fact it's better for me not to drink. I have found a way of life beyond my wildest dreams. All because of having this compulsion.