Steps By The Big Book

[bluidkiti]

SESSION 17

STEP 9 Into Action pp. 76 - 84

Step 9. Made direct amends wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. (83: 2)

Take Step 9

ION YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read pages 76 - 84 in Chapter 6, Into Action on Step 9. Many read Step 9 in the 12&12. Reparations take innumerable forms. (79: 1)

• WRITE Take a name, and decide what action is needed to re-create the best possible relationship with that person.

• TALK Talk with your sponsor and other members of the group. Review the written directions as they are in the Big Book.
  • • Making amends means being able to say you are sorry, that you make mistakes, that you care, and that you are growing and changing. Keep it a pure and simple amend and nothing else.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER We are not alone.

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 9?
We may read pages 76-84 in Chapter 6, Into Action on Step 9. Support is needed to carry out this Step. We can only do the part we are responsible for when we make amends. Step 9 requires patience, thoughtful self examination, and restraint.
Members of the group may share their experiences with this Step by the Big Book.


Points of Focus and Reflection (76: 3-78: 0; 79: 1-80: 1; 81: 1-82: 1; 83: 1-84: 1)
1.) Ask for willingness

• How is making amends a commitment to a continuous process of change?
• Why is making amends more than just saying, “I’m sorry?”
• What about financial amends? What behaviors do I need to amend?
• Do I owe amends to people who have also harmed me? (77: 1)
• Do I owe amends to anyone who is dead? What was special about that person that I might be able to use in planning my amends?
• Am I genuine in making my amends, or do I have hidden motives, such as to gain acceptance or love from someone else, or to prove them wrong and me right?
• Can I let go of the outcome, knowing that I have no control over the other person’s response?

2.) Direct amends

• The Big Book states that in making amends:
  • • We become ready, and we have obtained permission. (80: 1)
    • We…have consulted with [our sponsor or] others. (80: 1)
    • We…asked God to help. (80: 1)
    • We ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing. (79: 1)
    • We are trying to put our lives in order… [and] to be of maximum service to God and to the people about us. (77: 0)
    • Face to face, we make direct amends. (59: 2)
    • We go out to our fellows. (76: 3) We go…in a helpful and forgiving spirit. (77: 1) We secure their consent. (80: 1)
    • We will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past. (77: 2)
    • We have a sincere desire to set right the wrong. (77: 0)
    • We are there to sweep off our side of the street. (77: 2)
    • Their faults are not discussed. We stick to our own. (78: 0)
    • Confessing our former ill feeling and expressing our regret. (77: 1)
    • We should admit our fault. (81: 1)
    • We are sorry for what we have done and…it shall not be repeated. (81: 1)
• Step 9 Promises: Do I now know a new freedom and a new happiness? (83: 4)

3.) Will making direct amends injure them or others?

• Will I be harming the person or others further by making amends?
• When I feel guilty, do I put them in the position of having to take care of me?
• Talk with your sponsor and other group members about how these amends might be made.

III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 9 PRINCIPLES

• How may I accept responsibility for the harm I caused and for repairing that harm? How may I give of myself and be of service to others?
• May I accept that my love and tolerance also extend to myself?
• How may I let go of all my expectations about how my amends will be received?
• For what have I forgiven myself?
• How may I accept that my recovery is the living amend I make to myself?

………………………………………………………………………..


IV Take Step 9 – Make the amends for this day.
We take Step 9 in paragraph 3 on page 76.
We go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. (76: 3)


We make our Step 9 amends while proceeding with Step 10, Step 11, and Step 12 on a daily basis.
Mark taking Step 9 in the manner that your group sees fit.


pp. 87-88

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