Steps By The Big Book

[bluidkiti]

SESSION 8

STEP 4 How It Works Resentment Grudge List

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
The 1ST and 2ND working of the grudge list.
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. (66: 2)


I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY- What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read Chapter 5, How It Works. (8 paragraphs, pp. 64-66) Many will read Step 4 in the 12&12 as well. Watch out for paralysis from fear or perfectionism.
  • • We come here with a huge load of stored up shame, guilt, and unresolved pain to be let go of. Step 4 helps us lay bare the conflicts of the past so that we are no longer at their mercy.
    • Step 4 gives us the means to find out who we are, and what we are not. It is about finding our assets as well as our defects of character. We discover that our problems began long before we took our first drink. We may have felt isolated and afraid, and it was our desire to change the way we felt that led to our drinking.
    • We have a disease. We are not responsible for being an alcoholic, any more than a diabetic is responsible for being diabetic. But now that we know we are an alcoholic, we are responsible for our recovery. There are no longer excuses, because we realize we must live the Steps daily or we will die spiritually, emotionally and physically. We are working on practices - things we do - that we will use every day of our lives to move us from being restless, irritable and discontented toward keeping us sober and having serenity and peace of mind.

• WRITE Do Step 4 as best you reasonably can, and that is more than good enough.

Start writing your grudge lists, one list at a time. Put down all the people, places, and things who you resent on a list. Then list a few notes about how you were hurt or threatened (65: 0), or where you had expectations of others, or others had expectations of you – where you were sore or were ‘burned up.’ (65: 0). And then list what part of your self was affected.
[Resentment: (L -to re-feel.) Indignantly to feel old injuries over and over again.] [Anger: (ON -grief.) To rage.] [Grudge: (OF -to murmur.) Ill-will.]

• TALK Call your sponsor and other members of the group. If there were abuse issues, the task is to not deny them, and to seek outside counseling help.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER Call on a higher power.

p. 40
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/