Acceptance
 

I got thrown a real curve two days ago. I had to accept life on life's terms. I have cried for two whole days. My baby sister has moderate Alzheimers. I think oh no, not her! How i wish it were not so. Yet i have to accept that somehow this is all God's plan for a reason. I lost my dad and mom to this. Now my little sister. She is the one with a family, a husband and grand children. How i wish i could stop it for her but i cannot.
Sometimes the continual loss in life seems too much to bear. And the older you get the more you lose. Yet i have to accept this and make peace with it. I am grateful for now she can email me and chat a sentence or two. Somehow all the past sibling stuff is like water under the bridge. How i wish i could go back in time but i can't. So i am posting today how i feel. I lost a brother who was decapitated and now this. Us three youngest at home when the other 5 were gone, we were the ones to take care of mom and dad in old life. Then my brother died, then my little sister and me took care of them.
I am praising God for everything, even the things that hurt and i can't change. As i surrender this i know he will comfort me. The journey getting there is hard. I am grieving her now as i know she will diminish in increments. So thank you on line family for the support.

Thank you for sharing, I lost my brother when he was 2 and Iwas 3. I saw him run over by a truck driven by my uncle. I blamed myself for his death because I had called to him and told him to get out of the way and he was heading toward me when he was run over. My aunt later, when I was in recovery, informed me that I had nominated myself as his care taker the day he was born. My sponsor said it was probably guilt because he was killed when he was in my care. We caregivers take on so much that is not ours.

My mom died at the age of 40 because of her food addiction. She didn't accept her disease. She was told to lose weight and she didn't. I was 21 and felt guilty, because she had insisted I leave home at 17 to come to Hamilton to look for a job. I felt I should have stayed home with her and taken care of her. I was the oldest. When she died my sisters were 17 and 18.

My father kicked me and husband #2 out, along with my son out of his house because of our drinking and we had often left our son with him. I phoned to ask him to join us for Christmas dinner and never heard from him. My husband went to check on him and met up with my uncle (same uncle) and found my dad the day before Christmas. He had been dead for 3 days. It was a difficult Christmas. The last time he was seen was by a good and long time friend who was the manager of the liquor store. My father had bought a 40 oz bottle of rum. It was found on the floor along with his heart medication.

Acceptance is the key. It is a good thing we don't have to like it.