Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums

When I did my first 4th Step, my sponsor looked at it and said, "Now go back and write all the positive assets to balance it out.

I had no problems finding the negative, looking for the positive was much more difficult.

"Remember if you point at someone, you have 3 coming back. If you are looking at someone and see good attributes in them, I was told it was a program of reflection and I have some of that goodness within me to recognize it.

I always thought of the negative and didn`t recognize that the positive was true as well. My awakening came after hearing a great speaker who came from a similar place and I could identify with her.

I was told that for every negative in my 4th Step, I had to find a positive to balance it. Like the chip of the day (see defects of character list in Step 6-7 post), which side do we lean toward. Somethings are better, some have declined and need nurturing, and the rest, my God and I are working on them.

It is one day at a time. A long-timer use to say that he had 13 trash tins and only 12 lids, and a defect of character popped up every day. He would put a lid on it and another one would pop up. He had 25 years of sobriety when I had 2. I went to all the morning meetings and he was there. He was one of the ones who showed me the way.

For me it has been awareness and praying and asking for clarity and my own truth. Sometimes when I am stumped, I say a prayer, take a meditation book or my angel and animal cards, and I am directed to what I need to hear and see.

The books I hold them a few minutes, pray, and open the book and read the page that is in front of me. I use my Bible, Courage to Change, The Language of Letting Go, As Bill Sees It, and In God`s Care.

Quote:

There was a time it was when we ignored trouble, hoping it will go away. Or, in fear and in depression, we ran from it, but found it was still there. Often , full of unreasoning, bitterness, and blame, we fought back. These mistaken attitudes, powered by alcohol, guaranteed our destruction, unless they were altered.

- As Bill Sees It pg. 110

This is what I got when I followed my suggestion. I also know that I need to ask for my perception to be healed and that I am seeing things as they are, rather than what I would have them be.

In today, I believe that everything is all negative or all positive, there is always deep layers, and even in the most positive, there can be a negative note. Nothing is all negative, there is always some goodness there, if we are willing to look for it.

For example, when I do a meditation with my animal cards, I was originally told that if the card was upside down, I needed to address that issue. I keep all my cards straight up, because I know there is always something to be found on both sides, especially if I want to get honest with myself. Again, it was look at the whole picture, not just at what I wanted to see.

It was important to bounce things off my sponsor and get feed back from her and my spiritual adviser.

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