Steps By The Big Book
The 12 STEPS of ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS [Spiritual Principles] Step 1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable. [Honesty] Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. [Hope] Step 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. [Trust] Step 4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. [Courage] Step 5 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. [Integrity] Step 6 Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. [Willingness] Step 7 Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. [Humility] Step 8 Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. [Compassion] Step 9 Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. [Justice] Step 10 Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. [Perseverance] Step 11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. [Spiritual awareness] Step 12 Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. [Service] http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/ To Be Continued |
INTRODUCTION
Study and Practice How can we alcoholics in recovery live happy, joyous, and free? (Alcoholics Anonymous, 133: 0) Alcoholics Anonymous is the life changing program formed by two desperate alcoholics in 1935. In the Big Book, as the text Alcoholics Anonymous is known, we read the written words of the first 100 men and women of AA as they were put in the way of a spiritual awakening. Where did their words come from? What were their practices of the day by day disciplines that became the 12 Steps? How did they do it? The Steps are suggested guides for recovery. There is no rule that says anyone has to do them, and there is no regulation about how they should be done. This Steps by the Big Book workbook is for those who are willingto grow along spiritual lines (60: 1) by studying the first 103 pages of the Big Book while actually doing the Steps. Our goal is to study the Steps as a friendly, focused group, and work them as the authors of the Big Book described. We wish to make the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous part of our lives by collaborating with a power greater than ourselves – an inner knowing, our own best and highest nature. To this end we ask ourselves two primary questions: -What do the Big Book authors say about the Steps? -What does the Big Book say to each one of us about our own real practice of the Steps? Some of us in the recovering community in the Brattleboro, Vermont, area found that we did better studying the Big Book as a group rather than on our own. It is our belief that the only wrong way to work the Steps is alone. Together we can do it! The work of this group study supports the pass-it-on process of one alcoholic talking with another. This manual is for those in recovery who want to go through the Steps again; or freshen up on their Steps prior to working with a sponsee; or for sponsors and sponsees who want to progress through the Steps together. The only requirements are to show up, study the Big Book, and do each Step. This guide comes from these experiences. This is an introduction to the spiritual riches of the Big Book’s directions to the 12 Steps. We hope this guide is useful throughout recovery, whether one is working the Steps for the first time, or has followed the Steps for many years. Perhaps your group may craft its own manual, the better to reflect the warmth and strength of the safe haven found in the 12 Steps. If appropriate, simply say your own addiction in place of alcohol. To Be Continued |
Your Group
Please be aware that everything in this workbook comes from our experience, strength, and hope. Every process and suggestion in this workbook is optional. Our Steps by the Big Book group sessions are not official AA meetings because we limit enrollment to a specific number of participants.
Group Norms While there are no rules in AA, there are written Traditions and unwritten norms (i.e. identifying oneself as an alcoholic in meetings). In order to ensure that your group runs smoothly, we suggest considering these questions:
To Be Continued |
Working with a Sponsor or Buddy
Our group experience has shown that it is useful for group members to work closely with one or more members of the group (“buddies”), in a manner that compliments working with a sponsor. The support and stimulus of working the Steps with a buddy, a sponsor, or both, leads to personal growth and change. We read the Big Book chapters or selections together. Together, we work on our reflections and writings about the focus questions and inventories. Together we get and give support for this process of working the Steps, and for sharing our discoveries, doubts and experiences in the group. How a Session May Go Typically we read the session material on our own and write our responses. This is a team effort. We meet as a committed group of equals once or twice a week, or as the group sees fit. We open with a time of quiet, followed by a very brief check-in as to how each member is doing with studying and working the Steps. We read selections from the Big Book on a particular Step, and then for 10 minutes or so one group member speaks of her or his personal experience doing this Step by the Big Book. Every member then shares their writings or reflections on that session’s Step work. Discussion is encouraged, as long as we speak out of our own experience. Some groups choose to expand or contract the session material, or take a short break after working Step 4. We may close with reciting the Step and a meditation or prayer. http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/ To Be Continued |
Guide to This Guide |
Steps by the Big Book typical session outline |
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ONE GROUP MEMBER’S DAILY DISCIPLINES: |
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STEP 3 I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. (Bill’s Story, 13: 2) Heard in a meeting: “The problem is Me! The solution is Beyond Me! And the program of action is Let It!” "Is the stone heavy? Put it down and rest." The central affirmative action in Step 3 is a decision. We become willing to take action to do something different. We stop exhausting ourselves as if we were in charge of making things happen in this world. We loosen our grip on our fearful sense of self. We were never meant to do it alone. We are asked to turn our will and lives over to the care of what we do not understand. Yet we may define our own conception of this power, as we may for our own understandings of other spiritual expressions and spiritual terms. (47: 1) By working Step 3 we are allowing an unsuspected inner resource (567-568) to care for us, not control us or conduct our lives for us. We are not giving anything away; we are not struggling to become something we are not. We are learning to cooperate with what we always were. We are complete and whole as we are; the stuff we mixed in was to survive. We may discover that we are very sure what God is not for us, but not what God is, and that is fine. Working Step 3 will help us discover what works best for us. We are aligning ourselves with a Spirit of the Universe (46: 2) – one with our own best and highest nature. Spirituality is our tool based on personal experience, which gets better the more we experiment with it and use it. Step 3 reflects a spiritual progression through practice from hope to faith to trust. We begin to experience the distinction between self-sufficiency and “God-sufficiency.” (52: 4-53: 0) The decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of a higher power of our own understanding is one we may make each day, one day at a time. The authors of the Big Book call Step 3 the keystone (62: 3) to the wonderfully effective spiritual structure (47: 2) of a spiritual awakening that is being built by the discipline of the practice of the 12 Steps within the fellowship. How do we work Step 3? We do it by working Steps 4 – 12. http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/ |
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1.) Mental Obsession
2.) Physical Compulsion
3.) Drinking to Excess:
4.) Psychic Change
p. 17 |
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Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider 2: 2; 3: 2; 5: 4-6: 1; 8: 1-9: 6; 12: 2-14: 6)
1.) The Problem (17: 1)
2.) The Solution (17: 3)
3.) The Program of Action (9: 6)
p. 19 |
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STEP 1 WRITTEN INVENTORY
II UNMANAGEABILITY Mental obsession (self-centeredness): When and how has my mind told me that one drink will not hurt? - - How did jails or institutions take over the management of my life at different times? - - How am I addicted to changing my mood? What was I trying to change? In what ways am I addicted to looking outside of myself for exterior things to change the way I feel? - - Are there situations that I fear will be so painful that I will drink again? - - -How has my addictive thinking and behavior manifested in my life today? Be specific. - - What is it like when I am obsessed with someone or something? - - Do I maintain a crisis mentality, reacting to every challenge as a personal insult? How has this affected my life? - - Do I insist on having my own way? Do I consider the needs of others? How has this behavior/attitude affected my relationships? - - What in my life can I truly manage? - - What managed my life when using, and what manages my life in recovery? p. 21 |
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SESSION 5 STEP 1 & 2 More About Alcoholism Step 1. We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable. Step 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We were alcoholics (30: 2; see also 60: 2) Take Step 1 I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY What did the Big Book authors say?
-The Stopping Problem: Our physical compulsion (craving, “allergy”). That once we put the drink into our system there was never enough, we could not stop. -How we drank to excess: Why? Because we are alcoholic. (30: 2) [See also 342: 1]
II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 1 and Step 2? Talk with other group members about relapse. Did any of the stories in this chapter move you more than others did? Have you ever faced a situation where only your higher power stood between you and a drink? (43: 3) Have you ever relapsed? Describe in depth. Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider 32: 2-34: 2; 35: 1-38: 2; 39: 2-43: 3) 1.) The Man of Thirty
3.) The Jaywalker
4.) Fred
III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 1 PRINCIPLES:
IV TAKE STEP 1 Take Step 1 in the second paragraph of page 30. …We had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. (30: 2) This is how the Big Book authors described taking Step 1. If we concede, then according to the Big Book and under the conditions of this day, we take Step 1. As with all of the Steps, we each take Step 1 when we each say so. Some write a statement such as this: “I admit I am powerless over ___________________. My life is unmanageable.” __________________(signature) ______________(date) The group may or may not choose to observe the completion of this Step by holding hands and reciting the Step. pp. 24-25 |
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STEP 2 Written Inventory Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Consider these questions, which are borrowed from meetings and recovery literature. Add your own as appropriate. Consider responding in detail with specific examples, rather than rote yes's or no's. Insanity What is my understanding of my own sanity and insanity? [The Big Book authors define sanity as sane and sound. (69: 2) Insanity is a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight (37: 1), and an appalling lack of perspective. (5: 5)] - - What things have I repeatedly done that move me toward my own destruction? - - How has my life been out of balance? Have I lacked perspective? How and when? - - In what ways does my insanity say that things outside myself can make me whole or fix all my problems? - - Came to believe What does the phrase came to believe, mean to me? (59: 2) What do I believe in? - - Do I have blocks that make it hard for me to believe in a higher power? What are they? - - What are my negative thoughts, feelings, attitudes or beliefs that block my spirituality? - - Higher Power What is a power greater than myself? What are my grievances against a higher power? - - What is the evidence that a higher power is working in my life? - - What are the characteristics my higher power does NOT have? - - - - - What characteristics DOES my higher power have? [If you choose, you can use this understanding of higher power as a beginning for now.] - - - - - Restored to sanity What type of sanity is Step 2 referring to? - - Where in my life do I need sanity now? - - How have I sought help from a higher power today? - - Who do I know who is recovering well? What are they doing that is working? - - Have I sought help from my sponsor, gone to meetings, and reached out to other recovering alcoholics? What were the results? - - Have I used a meeting or the fellowship as a higher power? What happened? pp. 28-29 |
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STEP 3 Written Inventory Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.Consider these questions, which are borrowed from meetings and recovery literature, and ones of your own. Consider responding in detail with specific examples. Decision Who or what made my decisions for me while drinking? - - Can I make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of a higher power of my understanding – just for today? What fears or reservations do I have about turning my life over? - - What actions will I take to follow through on my decision to turn my life over to a higher power? - - Self-will To work Step 3 we need to identify the ways we have acted on self-will. [Willful: (from ON wella- well of boiling heat) Headstrong, obstinate, rigid. Gaining power over people and situations.] [Willing: Being receptive to new possibilities. Using our will in harmony with life, not against it.] How have I been self-centered? How have I been defiant? - - Which problems have I tried to resolve through willpower? What were the results? - - In what ways are my troubles of my own making? (62: 2) - - How do my reactions to life events make me suffer? Be specific. - - In what ways am I an extreme example of self-will run riot? (62: 2) How have I acted on self-will? - - How has my self-will affected others? Have there been times in my recovery when I have found myself subtly taking back my will and my life? What alerted me? What have I done to recommit myself to the Third Step? - - The God of My Understanding Who or what makes my decisions for me in recovery? - - Why is it OK to have a different higher power from everyone else? - - How is my higher power working in my life today? How do my higher power and I communicate? What do I do in order to be open to my higher power? - - Is my current concept of a higher power still working? How might I need to change my concept of a higher power? - - Turning It Over What are my personal examples of my turning my life and will over to my addictions? - - How would my day look if I were to turn my will and my life over to the care of a higher power of my understanding? - - What are my fears about making this decision? - - Which thoughts and behaviors and I willing to turn over right now? Which am I holding on to? - - How do I take action to turn my will and my life over to my higher power on a daily basis? Are there any practices I do regularly? What are they? - - What have I done recently that demonstrates my surrender to recovery and to working a program? pp. 32-33 |
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STEP 4 ASSETS AND LIABILITIES CHECKLIST Also STEP 10 DAILY WRITTEN INVENTORY We look at, "What qualities do I have that I like? That others like?" And we look at, "What qualities do I have that do not give me or others peace of mind?" [Optional: Adapted from a June 1946, A.A. Grapevine article describing an assets and liabilities checklist, such as Dr. Bob and many of the early AA’s used to take newcomers through the Steps. See also He Sold Himself Short. (263: 0, 1, 2) Consider adding fear, selfishness, conceit, carelessness, intolerance, ill-temper, sarcasm, etc.] A.A. Grapevine Volume 3 Issue 1 June 1946 Daily Moral Inventory Mail Call for All A.A.s at Home Or Abroad Enclosed you will find a little card … to make that moral inventory with regularity. Mark W., Jackson, Mississippi My Daily Moral Inventory [Day____] Month____ Year_____ Check Results DAILY in Proper Column ASSETS* Strive for – LIABILITIES* Watch for – [* Which traits work and do not work to give me serenity and peace of mind?] -Self forgetfulness [self-forgetting] -Self pity -Humility -Self justification [self-centered] -Modesty -Self importance [selfish] -Self valuation -Self condemnation -Honesty -Dishonesty -Patience -Impatience -Love [courage] -Hate [fear] -Forgiveness [avoid retaliation] -Resentment -Simplicity -False Pride -Trust -Jealousy -Generosity -Envy -Activity -Laziness -Promptness -Procrastination -Straightforwardness -Insincerity -Positive thinking -Negative thinking -High-minded, spiritual, clean thinking -Vulgar, immoral, trashy thinking -Look for the good -Criticizing -Eliminate the negative -Accentuate the positive. CHECK THE SCORE EVERY NIGHT – TRY TO GET THE SLATE CLEAN p. 35 |
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Where are we responsible?
We develop new skills in asking where we were responsible in the course of day to day happenings. The Big Book authors never accuse, criticize, or judge us. The purpose of this step is to help us become aware of ourselves as we were in the past and how we are today. We are invited to precisely describe our thinking and behavior. We name our part. We wrestle with spiritual inquiries such as where was I self-centered or dishonest or at fault? We must honestly ask what these terms mean to us in our own experience and in our own words. (See 47: 1; 63: 3) We set down a true picture in accurate proportion and real perspective of how we were involved. We may have been selfish intentionally, or because we did not even think of the concerns of others. Certainly we have often lied or not been genuine on purpose, but we are also dishonest when we see things only in our own distorted way, and not as they really are. Our self-seeking and inconsiderate behaviors relate to where we tried to control or manipulate others, thinking that we were better than or inferior to them. Fear is our number one character defect, underneath all the others. Our behaviors are driven by ancient fears for our very existence, of losing our security, of not getting our desires, and of being shown up for what we are trying to hide. These culminate in our faults: our instincts and emotions in collision, or deep seismic gaps between what we instinctively want for ourselves and what we wish for others. In Step 4, we practice giving accurate descriptions of what has blocked us from our Spirit. We state where we missed the mark when we could have been on target, and where we were out of bounds in this game of life. Why do we behave in these ways? Because we are alcoholic. (See 60: 2; 338) Turnarounds In focused meditation and prayer, we recognize that others like ourselves are sick and suffering. We ask our higher power to help us wish for others and for ourselves that we all may have deep happiness, genuine serenity, and peace of mind. This helps return us to being right size, and gives us a new perspective as we join in with life. We find that we put our trust in this new faith, not by way of emotion or wishing, but by our own experience through our own practice. Step 4 Directions The directions for Step 4 are in the Big Book, yet surprisingly few alcoholics in recovery comprehend them, and fewer still practice them. Our goal is to do both. Our method is to follow the instructions as written and see what the results are. The reading describes what an inventory is. (64: 1) Then the Big Book authors look at the things in ourselves which had been blocking us (64: 0) from our higher power, which turns out to be self, manifested in various ways. (64: 2) This chapter specifically mentions the blocks to our Spirit of our resentments (64: 3), our fears (64: 3), and the consequences of our own conduct (69: 1) in the area of our personal relationships (including sex). (64: 3 - 65: 0) For each of these three manifestations of self (anger, fear, sex) the book has us analyze our life experiences in these four ways: 1STWe set them on paper. (64: 3) We learn that our troubles are not so much who hurt us or how they did that, but rather may stem from our own reaction to what part of ourselves is being threatened. 2NDWe considered it carefully. (65: 3) Why work to change? We learn that we have to wrestle with these issues or we may drink again and die. 3RDWe turned back to the list. (66: 3) When we are ready to change we learn we must avoid retaliation, and instead see others as being as sick and as worthy as ourselves. 4THReferring to our list again. (67: 2) We learn that by examining our defects and shortcomings (50: 1), our motives (86: 2) and the exact nature of our wrongs (59: 2), where we may be selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened, (67: 2) we thereby become willing to set these matters straight. (67: 2) Each of these four workings of our lists teaches us something from our own experience that can keep us sober and open the way to our own higher power. For our resentment inventory in Session 8 and Session 9, we will do a close and careful reading of the Big Book pages 64 to 66, and pages 66 to 67. Session 10 covers fears, BB pages 67 to 68. Session 11 looks at our sex and relationship conduct, BB pages 68 to 71. Session 12 has an optional ‘pocket’ Step 4 guide written by a group member, which is available for review. Optional Step 4 written inventory forms are included. pp. 38-39 |
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II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE- What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 4?
Share about experiences with resentments and how working the Steps worked on them. Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider pp. 64: 0-66: 2) Try reading these out loud. List assets and liabilities as to which behaviors and thought-habits work, and which do not work, to give serenity and peace of mind in life. See page 34 this workbook. A. The 1ST Working of the Grudge List: Who? How? What? Begin with centering silence. Ask for help. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. (64: 3)
Grudge List from this example (65: 2) I’m resentful at: Who? (People, Places, Things, Institutions, Principles, etc.) The Cause: How? How they hurt or threatened me. Affects my: What? What part of self affected that I reacted to.
1.) Who? The First Column: “Who hurt or threatened me?” (65: 0) I’m resentful at… (65: 2)
Who? (People, Places, Things, Institutions, Principles, etc.) …example… (65: 2) Mr. Brown Mrs. Jones My employer My wife p. 41 |
2.) How? The Second Column: “How did they hurt or threaten me?” (65: 2) After you have made the list of all the people, institutions, and principles that you resent, one at a time you are ready to begin to fill in the second column. You might consider selecting a few representative “grudges” to work on now, reserving the option to eventually work through all of them. |
B. The 2ND Working of the Grudge List: Why?“Why must I change?”
When we were finished we considered it [list] carefully. (65: 3) Begin with silence. 1.) Resentments build us up to a drink.
2.) If we drink, we die.
3.) To live and be free of anger.
C. What might we learn from the 1ST and 2ND working of the list? 1ST …Set them on paper. (64: 3) Who? How? What? We learned from the First Column of our grudge list that our anger and resentment at who hurt us or did not meet our expectations really does occupy our mind and controls us, and blocks us from the Spirit.
2ND …Considered it carefully. (65: 3) Why? “Why must I change?” Our present resentment habits lead to self pity, are a waste of time and, if we do not change, we may drink and die. Our own thought-habits lead us to drink.
p. 43 |
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a.) Selfishness Concern for self regardless of others.
b.) Dishonesty A tendency to deceit, to conceal our true character.
c.) Self-seeking, inconsiderate Concern for self over (or under) others.
d.) Fear Dread. Self-reliance failed us. (68: 1)
3.) Our Faults a.)The Inventory is ours.
b.)List our faults.
C. Our Turnarounds by four workings of the Grudge List. Willing?“Am I willing to set it straight?” 1.) Willing. And were willing to set these matters straight. (67: 2) [Straight: Not crooked. Honest; by the rules; right; in bounds. Selfless, honest, loving, pure motives.] 2.) Turnarounds In order to save our own lives, we are turning from our habitual point of view. We stood at the turning point. (59: 1) Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them. (27:4) We become willing to do things differently. We are willing to change. We turn around. 3.) * Meditate / PrayWe meditate / pray for the benefit of all. Many in AA use such a composite prayer on behalf of others and for themselves. [Optional: God of my understanding, bless _______ (including myself), for she/he is a sick person, and but by your grace, there go I. I pray for their health, happiness and prosperity. I pray I may show them the patience, kindliness and love I would want to be shown or that I would show a sick friend. God save me from being hurt, threatened, insulted, or angry. How may I help them? May thy will, not mine, be done. (See 67: 0; 552: 1)] p. 46-48 |
STEP 4 Resentment Grudge List (65: 1) Inventory Forms |
TEP 4 Resentment Turnarounds
For every item in the Third Column we ask, “Where am I responsible?” Make multiple copies or expand in your notebook. For every Third Column situation or event, and reaction, fill in resentment ‘turnarounds.’ “Where am I responsible?” We write down and share precisely and in detail what our motives were.
Where was I selfish? (67: 2) [Concern for self regardless of others. Self-absorbed.] - - - - - - - Where was I dishonest? (67: 2) [A tendency to deceit, conceal our true character, lack perspective. We believed our own lies.] - - - - - - - Where was I self-seeking (67: 2) or inconsiderate? (69: 1) [Concern for self over – or under – others.] - - - - - - - Where was I frightened? (67: 2) [Habitual anxiety: Afraid of losing something we have, not getting something we want, or of being found out for who we are.] - - - - - - - ………………………………………………………………………………. Write our faults. The inventory was ours, not the other man's. (67: 2) When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them [faults] before us in black and white. (67: 2) Where was I at fault? (67: 2) [A seismic gap between our own and others’ deeply held values or our own instincts in collision. Out of bounds? Miss the mark?] - - - - - - - - - - (Why do we act this way? Because….see p. 338) ………………………………………………………………………………. Willing to set matters straight. Were willing to set these matters straight. (67: 2) Step 4 Resentment Turnaround Meditation / Prayer. [Optional: God bless _____________(including myself), for they are a sick person, and but by your grace, there go I. I pray for their health, happiness, and prosperity. I pray I may show them the patience, tolerance, kindliness and love I would want to be shown or that I would show a sick friend. God save me from being hurt, threatened, insulted or angry. How may I help them? May thy will, not mine be done. (See 67: 0; 552: 1)] pp. 51-52 |
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STEP 4 Fear Inventory Form The Big Book authors indicate that the best way to deal with our fears is to do exactly what we did with resentments: We write them down; we consider them carefully; we look at what part we played in creating them or in reacting to them; we list what our motives were in playing that part. (See 69: 3) Expand on this list as desired. Use multiple pages. The word “fear”… somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. … It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve. (67: 3) …………………………………………………………………. Person 16. Institution Principle I fear. 17. “{#1}When did I first have this fear?” (See 68: 1) 1. 18. 2. 19. 3. 20. 4. 21. 5. 22. 6. 23. 7. 24. 8. 25. 9. 26. 10. 27. 11. 28. 12. 29. 13. 30. 14. 31. 15. 32. Etc., etc. p. 55 |
Step 4- Fears Fill in Second and Third Columns |
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